Media Lets have a Laugh 😂🤣😆😁

[Tigerturbulance]

Cadsky wants to get a quality qooty player so PMs Tigerturbulance and says 'with so many great players at OOB's are you willing to let one go so the rest of us can have some quality in the team. Turbo asks which players are you interested in? Cadsky reply's "I'm looking for something different so interested in your camel kenneyswarriors, that blue horse you just got myblueroan or your fisty poodle Fleabane.

Turbo replies "if you want the camel it will cost $1000 dollars."

"Why does the camel cost so much?" asks Cadsky. Turbo says "Well the camel knows how to use a computer."

Cadsky then asks about the blue horse and learns that it costs $2,000 dollars because it can do everything the camel can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system.

Naturally, the increasingly startled Cadsky asks about the poodle, only to be told that it costs $4,000 dollars. Needless to say, this begs the question, "What can the poodle do?"

To which Turbo replies, "To be honest, I have never seen Fleabane do anything, but the other two call the poodle boss!"

 

[Tigerturbulance]

The new manager of revamped Hawks Callums_Guns is strict and won’t stand any nonsense. Last Sunday, he caught two fans climbing over the stadium wall and was angry with them. He grabbed them and said: “Get back in there and watch the game until it finishes!”

 

[Cadsky]

Cadsky wants to get a quality qooty player so PMs Tigerturbulance and says 'with so many great players at OOB's are you willing to let one go so the rest of us can have some quality in the team. Turbo asks which players are you interested in? Cadsky reply's "I'm looking for something different so interested in your camel kenneyswarriors, that blue horse you just got myblueroan or your fisty poodle Fleabane.

Turbo replies "if you want the camel it will cost $1000 dollars."

"Why does the camel cost so much?" asks Cadsky. Turbo says "Well the camel knows how to use a computer."

Cadsky then asks about the blue horse and learns that it costs $2,000 dollars because it can do everything the camel can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system.

Naturally, the increasingly startled Cadsky asks about the poodle, only to be told that it costs $4,000 dollars. Needless to say, this begs the question, "What can the poodle do?"

To which Turbo replies, "To be honest, I have never seen Fleabane do anything, but the other two call the poodle boss!"

A fair and reasonable price. Welcome to the Royals kenneyswarriors, myblueroan & Fleabane

 

[Tigerturbulance]

As the Wonders struggles continued, a two dollar coin was thrown onto the ground after last Sundays loss.

Police are trying to determine whether it was a missile or a takeover bid.

 

[Fleabane]

...

Naturally, the increasingly startled Cadsky asks about the poodle, only to be told that it costs $4,000 dollars. Needless to say, this begs the question, "What can the poodle do?"

To which Turbo replies, "To be honest, I have never seen Fleabane do anything, but the other two call the poodle boss!"

What can I say, it started out as a small dog's fantasy. My meteoric rise to power has been an extraordinarily humbling experience. myblueroan and kenneyswarriors - my most trusted lieutenants

 

[Tigerturbulance]

Q: Why are the Dragon FFC like a possum?
A: They play dead at home and get killed on the road.

 

[philreich]

As the Wonders struggles continued, a two dollar coin was thrown onto the ground after last Sundays loss.

Police are trying to determine whether it was a missile or a takeover bid.

I also heard that a husband and wife who barrack for the Wonders drove to the Underground for last Sunday's game, but left their membership cards on the front seat of the car. To their horror, they returned to the vehicle after the game, and discovered that it had been broken into. Even worse - there were now 6 Wonders membership cards on the front seat!!!

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

Police arrested two Gumbies yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other one was eating fireworks.

They charged the first one and let the other one off.

 

[Tigerturbulance]

This is the funniest thing I have seen all week

=====================================
SIREN SOUNDS FOR THE END OF QUARTER 4
DRAGONS FFC : 12.7.79
OPHIDIAN OLD BOYS FFC : 21.16.142
=====================================

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

tony the Las Vegas Bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender:
“I’ll have a whiskey…................................................................................and a cola.”

The bartender says, “Why the big pause?” The bear replies, “I don’t know, I was born with them!”

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

philreich goes to a pet shop and buys a talking parrot. He takes the parrot home and tries to teach the parrot how to say a few things, but instead the parrot just swears at him.

After a few hours of trying to teach the bird, Phil finally says: “If you don’t stop swearing, I’m going to put you in the freezer as punishment.”

The parrot continues, so finally Phil puts the bird in the freezer. About an hour later, the parrot asks Phil to please open the door. As Phil takes the shivering bird out of the freezer, it says: “I promise to never swear again, but please, I gotta know, what did the turkey do?!”

 

[Footypie32]

fisty poodle @Fleabane.

I've never heard of this breed. Is it some kind of X?

 

[philreich]

While golfing late one afternoon, Jabba73 accidentally overturns his golf cart. A very attractive young female golfer, who lives on her own in a villa on the course, hears the noise, and calls out, "Are you OK?"

"I'm OK", he replies, as he pulls himself out of the twisted cart.

She says in a really sexy voice, "Come up to my villa and rest a while - I'll help you get the cart up later." He notices that her silky bathrobe is partially open, revealing what appears to be a very nice figure.

"That's very nice of you", he says, "but I really don't think my wife would like it."

"Oh come on now." She's insistent, stunningly pretty and very, very persuasive. He's weak, ponders for a moment, and then says, "OK."

After a couple of scotch and sodas, he thanks her and says, "Thank you - I do feel a lot better now. But you know, my wife is going to be really upset, so I'd better go now."

"Don't be silly", she says with a sensual smile, as her bathrobe falls open slightly further. "Stay a while", she purrs, "Your wife won't know anything. After all, where is she?"

Jabba73 says, "At a guess, I'd say she's still under the golf cart."

 

[Tigerturbulance]

 

[philreich]

Dingster rings his lawyer and says, "How much would it cost me to ask you 3 questions?"

The lawyer replies, "$500.00."

Ding sounds shocked, "Wow - that's a bit expensive, isn't it?"

The lawyer says, "Sure is: what's your third question?"

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

Dingster rings his lawyer and says, "How much would it cost me to ask you 3 questions?"

The lawyer replies, "$500.00."

Ding sounds shocked, "Wow - that's a bit expensive, isn't it?"

The lawyer says, "Sure is: what's your third question?"

I very nearly put this up. Lol.

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up", said the Tigerturbulance the sarcastic teacher.
After a long silence, one brave OOB rose to her feet.
"Now then Mrs Turbo, why do you consider yourself an idiot?", inquired Turbo with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said Mrs T, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

Mrs Turbo got so mad at her husband Tigerturbulance she packed his bags and told him to get out. As he walked to the door she yelled, "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death."
He turned around and said, "So, you want me to stay?"

 

[philreich]

Mrs Turbo got so mad at her husband Tigerturbulance she packed his bags and told him to get out. As he walked to the door she yelled, "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death."
He turned around and said, "So, you want me to stay?"

I heard about those two - Tigerturbulance says to Mrs Turbo, "What would you do if I were to win the lottery?"

She replies, "I'd take half, and leave you."

He grins and says, "Good, because I just won $12. Here's $6 - don't forget to write."

 

[thewizardmelon]

Two SinCity SwampRacers damicky and philreich were having some practise laps before their big race on the weekend.

Just as damicky turned the last corner, he spun out and crashed into the side barriers.

philreich rushes over
“What happened @damicky?”

D: “Well I just had the pit crew double check my fuel and brakes last lap, but what else it could be, I wonder?

PR: Damicky, I see you’ve got a puncture!

Aw *, that’s the third time this racing season I’ve been re-tired.

 

[philreich]

Tonga Bob is walking along the beach one day, when suddenly he notices a lamp partially buried in the sand. He picks it up and gives it an obligatory rub. Out pops a genie, whose gratitude is as obvious as the nose on Bill Lawry's face. He says to Bob, "You have no idea how good it is to get out of that thing after 1000 years: anything you want, it's yours."

Bob thinks for a moment, and then says, "I want to live forever."

The genie immediately shakes his head, "I'm sorry, but I can't grant you eternal life."

Bob thinks for a few more seconds, and then says, "I'd like to live until the Coney Island Warriors win a premiership."

The genie says mournfully, "You sly bastard!!!"

 

[philreich]

A battalion of soldiers is deep inside a South African jungle, when they come to a crocodile-infested river. The officer in charge calls for a volunteer to take a rope across the river, climb the nearest tree, and attach it to an overhead branch - thus enabling the rest of the men to make it across safely. Naturally there's plenty of protests, such as, "I'm too young to die", and "I have a wife and kids back home - they need me."

Eventually a young corporal steps forward and says, "OK I'll do it." He strips down to his bare essentials, takes the rope, and starts swimming across the river. To the astonishment of the onlookers, the crocodiles aren't coming within cooee of him. He gets to the other side, climbs the nearest tree and attaches the rope to an overhead branch.

Once everyone is across safely, the corporal is an instant hero: plenty of slaps on the back, and even the odd call for a bravery award. But the officer in charge isn't so sure - he says to the corporal, "You got body odour, soldier?"

The corporal smiles and says, "No sir - you see, it's like this. I've got 'EAST SIDE HAWKS FOR S37 PREMIERSHIP' tattooed on my bum, and not even a crocodile would swallow that!!!"