Opinion Season 2023 Headline Prediction for each Club

[Connar]

Hi all, I thought about doing a final Season 2023 Headline Prediction for fun for each club. So here it is:

Adelaide - Just avoid Wooden Spoon with Nicks axed
Brisbane - Secure last spot in Top 8
Carlton - Back in the Finals after 10 years
Collingwood - A Grand Final like 2002 and 2018.
Essendon - Just avoid Bottom 4 finish
Fremantle - First ever Premiership
Geelong - Come Crashing down in Finals
Gold Coast - Finish Top 10
Greater Western Sydney - Wooden Spoon
Hawthorn - Win one more game than 2022.
Melbourne - Lose Double chance and Elimination Final
North Melbourne - 3 Wins for the Season
Port Adelaide - Hinkley survives the axe with Finals
Richmond - Repeat of 2021 despite bolstered list
St Kilda - Won't do a lot of damage during the season.
Sydney - Just Scrape into Top 4
West Coast - Make Top 15 with 5 Wins for the Season
Western Bulldogs - Will still be Umpire's Pets

 

[Blackhawk42]

Hi all, I thought about doing a final Season 2023 Headline for fun for each club. So here it is:

Adelaide - Just avoid Wooden Spoon with Nicks axed
Brisbane - Secure last spot in Top 8
Carlton - Back in the Finals after 10 years
Collingwood - A Grand Final like 2002 and 2018.
Essendon - Just avoid Bottom 4 finish
Fremantle - First ever Premiership
Geelong - Come Crashing down in Finals
Gold Coast - Finish Top 10
Greater Western Sydney - Wooden Spoon
Hawthorn - Win one more game than 2022.
Melbourne - Lose Double chance and Elimination Final
North Melbourne - 3 Wins for the Season
Port Adelaide - Hinkley survives the axe with Finals
Richmond - Repeat of 2021 despite bolstered list
St Kilda - Won't do a lot of damage during the season.
Sydney - Just Scrape into Top 4
West Coast - Make Top 15 with 5 Wins for the Season
Western Bulldogs - Will still be Umpire's Pets

These are predictions more so than headlines.

For example, perhaps Collingwood's could read 'PIE IN THE SKY - COLLINGWOOD SEEK REDEMPTION AS THEY POWER THROUGH TO THE LAST SATURDAY IN SEPTEMBER'.

 

[PowerLil]

Erin Brockovich couldn't save this Hinkley.

 

[Dazb86]

Dogs - The flag will wag

 

[BigVic]

Adelaide - Finish 10th-11th
Brisbane - Make Grand Final but fall short
Carlton - Voss baby, Blues back in business
Collingwood - Another finals finish
Essendon - Just avoid Bottom 4 finish
Fremantle - Minor slip but success will come
Geelong - Beginning of the end?
Gold Coast - Maiden finals appearance
Greater Western Sydney - Orange team in crisis
Hawthorn - Avoid bottom 4.
Melbourne - What is going on with the Dees?
North Melbourne - Double their win
Port Adelaide - Hinkley axed after another power failure
Richmond - Dimma cements himself as legend of the game with premiership
St Kilda - Ross the Boss in no man's land
Sydney - Big Grand Final loss haunts them
West Coast - Worst ever season, Simpson sacked, Nic Nat and Shuey retires. First ever wooden spoon with same amount of wins.
Western Bulldogs - Freed from desire

 

[Obeanie1]

Lions finally make big dance.
Hawthorn, pick 1, mission accomplished!
Cats land another gun trade in De Koning.
Port run out of gas.
Swans out in straight sets.
Pies injury luck runs out.
Dees back to their best.
Crows coach on last chance in 2024.
Eagles youth show signs as veterans bow out.
Suns shine bright in 2023.
Giants need for ruck support exposed.
Essendon's defense their biggest weakness.
Freo won't win a final until forward woes fixed.
Carlton. Finals at last.
Bulldogs, wasted season.
North. Heading in right direction.
Richmond. Dusty surprise retirement.
Saint Kilda. Ross the Boss lays down the law.

 

[FourthTimeAround]

Port Adelaide:

No we Kern't, Yes we Carr'n
Josh Carr takes on Port Adelaide Head coach after horror 0-4 start.​

 

[The 747]

Coming soon to the Herald Sun:

HOT PIES
PIES WIN
FLY HIGH
COLD PIES
BAD PIES
FLY CRIES

And sometime during the year:

HAWKS TANK

 

[Art Vandelay_]

Geelong - Beginning of the end?

 

[RUNVS]

With the knowledge ChatGPT has no idea about the 2022 season I asked it to make up some headlines for the clubs

1. Richmond Tigers: "Defending champs ready to roar once again in 2023"
2. Geelong Cats: "Cats set to pounce on the competition with new recruit"
3. Collingwood Magpies: "Magpies rebuild in full swing, aiming for top 8 finish"
4. West Coast Eagles: "Eagles soar to new heights with star forward's career-best season"
5. Western Bulldogs: "Dogs' midfield dominance secures top 4 spot"
6. Melbourne Demons: "Demons exorcise past demons with impressive 2023 campaign"
7. Sydney Swans: "Swans' young guns lead the way to finals berth"
8. Port Adelaide Power: "Power's high-scoring offence propels them to Grand Final"
9. Brisbane Lions: "Lions claw their way back to finals contention"
10. GWS Giants: "Giants' defensive unit proves too tough for opposing teams"
11. Essendon Bombers: "Bombers' rebuilding phase paying off with promising young talent"
12. Hawthorn Hawks: "Hawks' veteran players provide leadership in rebuilding year"
13. North Melbourne Kangaroos: "Kangaroos' young guns show promise despite difficult season"
14. St Kilda Saints: "Saints suffer setback with key player injury, miss out on finals"
15. Carlton Blues: "Blues' new coach brings fresh approach, improves team performance"
16. Fremantle Dockers: "Dockers' defensive struggles lead to disappointing season"

Also it forgot 2 clubs, though I am not sure which.

 

[Truckosaurus]

West Coast: "Eagles Win After Opposition Bus Gets Lost On Way To Stadium"
Subheading: "Bus driver's later appointment as Head of Club Transport a coincidence, says Nisbett".

 

[RUNVS]

I also asked for some more controversial headlines

1. Richmond Tigers: "Tigers accused of flouting salary cap rules, investigation underway"
2. Geelong Cats: "Cats' star recruit faces suspension over controversial on-field incident"
3. Collingwood Magpies: "Magpies under fire for lack of diversity in coaching staff"
4. West Coast Eagles: "Eagles' superstar player demands trade after contract negotiations break down"
5. Western Bulldogs: "Dogs criticized for aggressive playing style, risk of serious injuries"
6. Melbourne Demons: "Demons' surprise tactics lead to accusations of unsportsmanlike conduct"
7. Sydney Swans: "Swans' controversial umpiring decisions spark outrage among opposition fans"
8. Port Adelaide Power: "Power accused of playing dirty, face disciplinary action"
9. Brisbane Lions: "Lions' star player embroiled in off-field scandal, team morale suffers"
10. GWS Giants: "Giants' controversial pre-game ritual draws criticism from opponents"
11. Essendon Bombers: "Bombers' young players accused of lacking discipline, coach faces scrutiny"
12. Hawthorn Hawks: "Hawks' veteran players accused of being past their prime, calls for rebuild"
13. North Melbourne Kangaroos: "Kangaroos' disappointing season blamed on lack of investment in talent"
14. St Kilda Saints: "Saints' players speak out about toxic team culture, coach faces backlash"
15. Carlton Blues: "Blues' star player faces suspension over controversial social media post"
16. Fremantle Dockers: "Dockers' head coach under fire for controversial comments about women in sport"

 

[terrybull]

Adelaide - makes finals. Power stance returns!

Brisbane - Are we not Bears? No we are Lions!
Brisbane-Fitzroy wins 12th flag.

Carlton - Blues 5 year plan to win a flag is now down to 4 years.

Collingwood - Magpies finally realize that nothing can rub their strong brand and allow Port Adelaide to wear black n white prison jumpers. Eddie McGuire accidentally buys a Power prison bar jumper mistaking it for a Collingwood jumper.

Essendon - Kevin Sheedy suggest the Bombers change name to the Sheedys. And while at it make Hird coach again.

Fremantle - Dockers fans state they are most miserable in the League.

Geelong - Other sides seem to to have caught up tactically to the Cats.

Gold Coast - Suns jumper officially the ugliest in the world.

GWS - more stars to leave Giants.

Hawthorn -Hawks not successful by ignoring the elite end of the draft.

Melbourne - out in straight sets again.

North Melbourne - don’t get the wooden-spoon.

Port Adelaide - Power offer to coach - should I stay or should I go?

Richmond - Dusty wins 4th Norm Medal. But experts still out if he’s the greatest ever.

St.Kilda - Saints in no man’s land.

Sydney - Swans lose another Grand Final, under scrutiny

West Coast - time for rebuild part 2.

Western - retired players become umpires.

 

[The 747]

Adelaide - Finish 10th-11th
Brisbane - Make Grand Final but fall short
Carlton - Voss baby, Blues back in business
Collingwood - Another finals finish
Essendon - Just avoid Bottom 4 finish
Fremantle - Minor slip but success will come
Geelong - Beginning of the end?
Gold Coast - Maiden finals appearance
Greater Western Sydney - Orange team in crisis
Hawthorn - Avoid bottom 4.
Melbourne - What is going on with the Dees?
North Melbourne - Double their win
Port Adelaide - Hinkley axed after another power failure
Richmond - Dimma cements himself as legend of the game with premiership
St Kilda - Ross the Boss in no man's land
Sydney - Big Grand Final loss haunts them
West Coast - Worst ever season, Simpson sacked, Nic Nat and Shuey retires. First ever wooden spoon with same amount of wins.
Western Bulldogs - Freed from desire

Geelong: End of the beginning?

 

[_Mike_]

Carlton - Voss baby, Blues back in business
Collingwood - Another finals finish

West Coast - Worst ever season, Simpson sacked, Nic Nat and Shuey retires. First ever wooden spoon with same amount of wins.

Bulldogs, wasted season.

Geelong - Beginning of the end?

 

[Art Vandelay_]

Geelong: End of the beginning?

Bottom out done.

 

[kreuze_missile]

Carlton - Premiership win & Jack Martin

21

Jack Martin

Age

29

Ht

186cm

Wt

82kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

16.2

4star

K

10.0

4star

HB

6.3

4star

M

4.9

5star

T

3.7

5star

G

0.9

4star

D

14.9

4star

K

7.9

3star

HB

7.0

4star

M

4.3

4star

T

3.6

4star

G

1.1

5star

D

8.2

2star

K

4.6

2star

HB

3.6

3star

M

1.8

2star

T

2.0

4star

G

0.6

3star

Norm Smith

CBF doing the other irrelevant clubs.

 

[WillHayward]

Adelaide - Finish 10th-11th
Brisbane - Make Grand Final but fall short
Carlton - Voss baby, Blues back in business
Collingwood - Another finals finish
Essendon - Just avoid Bottom 4 finish
Fremantle - Minor slip but success will come
Geelong - Beginning of the end?
Gold Coast - Maiden finals appearance
Greater Western Sydney - Orange team in crisis
Hawthorn - Avoid bottom 4.
Melbourne - What is going on with the Dees?
North Melbourne - Double their win
Port Adelaide - Hinkley axed after another power failure
Richmond - Dimma cements himself as legend of the game with premiership
St Kilda - Ross the Boss in no man's land
Sydney - Big Grand Final loss haunts them
West Coast - Worst ever season, Simpson sacked, Nic Nat and Shuey retires. First ever wooden spoon with same amount of wins.
Western Bulldogs - Freed from desire

Excellent effort overall.

Like most people did, you under rated the Giants and Saints by a lot.

 

[BigVic]

Got the Hinkley one wrong, Lions and Eagles spot on, missed out on the Richmond flag prediction

 

[Scritchyscroony]

Melbourne. Clayton Oliver

13

Clayton Oliver

Age

26

Ht

189cm

Wt

88kg

Pos.

Mid

Career

Season

Last 5

D

27.8

5star

K

9.5

4star

HB

18.4

5star

M

3.2

3star

T

6.3

5star

CL

6.3

5star

D

25.1

5star

K

11.1

4star

HB

14.0

5star

M

3.6

4star

T

5.6

5star

CL

5.9

5star

D

19.2

5star

K

4.6

2star

HB

14.6

5star

M

2.0

3star

T

4.4

5star

CL

3.8

5star

burns down Max Gawn

11

Max Gawn

Age

32

Ht

209cm

Wt

110kg

Pos.

Ruck

Career

Season

Last 5

D

14.1

4star

K

7.4

3star

HB

6.7

4star

CL

2.8

4star

HO

35.3

5star

D

18.5

4star

K

11.5

4star

HB

7.0

4star

CL

3.5

4star

HO

29.2

5star

D

8.4

3star

K

3.6

2star

HB

4.8

4star

CL

1.0

3star

HO

15.6

5star

's house after he gets wasted and leaves a can of SPC spaghetti cooking on the stove. Maynard sends flowers.

 

[PowerfulPies2023]

'' Fremantle vow to eat the chocolate chip ''

 

[blueiris]

Lions Roar At G
Brisbane Lions Break MCG hoodo in Grand Final