Lame Jokes Part 2

[RedmanWasHere]

So the person who's been arrested for stealing luggage was found in the quickest time ever.

Must've been a briefcase.

 

[RedmanWasHere]

The following's 3 years old.


So 2 teenagers had their doughnuts stolen from them after purchasing them from a Krispy Kreme store in SA.

I guess they started with doughnuts and ended with doughnuts.

 

[Double the Fist]

Why do Swedish warships have bar codes on their sides?

So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.

That. Is. Terrible.

































Did LOL

 

[roscreasl98]

So the person who's been arrested for stealing luggage was found in the quickest time ever.

Must've been a briefcase.

Got to work this morning, sat down at my desk.
The boss walked past me and said "Make sure you have a good day today"

So I got up and went home.......

 

[Quadzilla]

Subject: Japanese banking crisis

The Japanese banking crisis shows no sign of letting up.

Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back on some of its branches.

Karaoke Bank is up for sale and going for a song.

Meanwhile shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived and 500 back office staff at Karate Bank have got the chop.

Analysts report something fishy going on at Sashimi Bank and staff there feel they may get a raw deal.

 

[worbod]

What do you call a number that can't keep still?

A roamin' numeral.

 

[GreyCrow]

Subject: Japanese banking crisis

The Japanese banking crisis shows no sign of letting up.

Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back on some of its branches.

Karaoke Bank is up for sale and going for a song.

Meanwhile shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived and 500 back office staff at Karate Bank have got the chop.

Analysts report something fishy going on at Sashimi Bank and staff there feel they may get a raw deal.

Try being the guy who has to try and flog off the Sperm Bank

 

[worbod]

Why should you never think about the number 288?

It's two gross.

 

[Quadzilla]

Walked down a street where the house numbers were 56k, 128k, 256k, 512k and 1M. It was a trip down memory lane.

 

[Quadzilla]

A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.

 

[Double the Fist]

Why should you never think about the number 288?

It's two gross.

Sorry, you will have to explain it.

 

[GreyCrow]

Sorry, you will have to explain it.

A Gross is 144
Score is 20 ie '4 score and 7 years ago our forefathers'' etc
Dozen is 12

 

[Double the Fist]

A Gross is 144
Score is 20 ie '4 score and 7 years ago our forefathers'' etc
Dozen is 12

Ta bud!

 

[Moonwatcher]

You may be a redneck, if you've been married three times and still have the same in-laws - Jeff Foxworthy

 

[tonygeeks]

Righty - " I just bought an all white Bose sound system "

Lefty - "That is blatant racial stereotyping "


On iPad using BigFooty.com mobile app

 

[tonygeeks]

You may be a redneck, if you've been married three times and still have the same in-laws - Jeff Foxworthy

If your old tv is the tv stand for your new tv - you may be a red neck


On iPad using BigFooty.com mobile app

 

[Moonwatcher]

I burnt my Hawaiian pizza today.
I should have cooked it at aloha temperature.

 

[GreyCrow]

How did pizza get its name?

A pizza for you and a pizza for me and a pizza for him and a pizza for her

 

[DroopStDanny]

Paddy and Seamus were at the employment office and saw an advert that read "Tree Fellers Wanted."

Said Paddy to Seamus "Tis a pity there's only the two of us."

 

[RedmanWasHere]

If I was at a gun shop taking a circular photo but it stopped halfway, would that make it a semi panoramic?

 

[Quadzilla]

Stop press : Truck ⛟ laden with toffee on M5 overturned.
Police ask drivers to stick to the inside lane.

 

[spenze]

A man was savagely attacked at The Teddy Bear's Picnic....












His condition is said to be improving but he's not out of the woods yet

 

[worbod]

Have you heard the story about the invention of the jackhammer?
It was really ground breaking.

 

[worbod]

I don't think we've seen any vegetable jokes on this thread for a while. If we get some new ones, lettuce know.

 

[GreyCrow]

Make sure there arent any spuds if you do