Why are all the minnow Melbourne clubs stinking up the comp?

[Dazlington]

It has come to my attention that the minnow Melbourne clubs continue to drag down the competition. Something needs to be done to address the below abject failures:

St Kilda - aweful list, shithouse off field, no fans, no future, 1 flag in their pathetic history and 27 spoons with huge chance for 28 - Dud. Delist/Fold

North - can’t attract talent, vanilla list, shithouse coach, few fans but the ones they have are more ******ed than most, list has them destined for at least a decade of below average output - trade to tassie for Matt Wade

Bulldogs - 2 flags in their pathetic history, no fans, no finances, shocking list and biggest ever fall from grace from their umpire assisted flag. Bottom 4 locks - Merge with Suns

Carlton - only side who could challenge St Kilda for the spoon, pathetic tanking for failed picks, worst coach in AFL history, less bad club overall than the three above so spared folding but have 5 years to get their shit together before they are gone for good - send to VFL

Hawthorn - unlike the others have had recent success but fans are either 4 legged or bandwagoners, tried to vote themselves out of existence once, horrendous list, bottom 6 locks. Future looks grim - no action required. Will vote themselves out of existence

Cats - based in Geelong, enough said - shut her down like any employers in the region


Daz’s 2019 ladder:

Crows
Eagles
Tigers
Pies
Lions
Dees
Giants
Bombers
Swans
Power
Cats
Dockers
Hawks
Suns
Blues
North
Dogs
Saints

 

[Colonial]

This is what happens when one takes to much from a preseason game.

Are we going to have to send Jezza up there to teach you lot manners again?

Sent from my SM-G960F using Tapatalk

 

[Dazlington]

This is what happens when one takes to much from a preseason game.

Are we going to have to send Jezza up there to teach you lot manners again?

Sent from my SM-G960F using Tapatalk

Only time Jezza got on tv all year. Been putrid since he signed his big long term contract. Poor mans josh walker these days

 

[Colonial]

Only time Jezza got on tv all year. Been putrid since he signed his big long term contract. Poor mans josh walker these days

So that's a yes we should?

Sent from my SM-G960F using Tapatalk

 

[Laphroaig]

It's not often you see a PopUpSprinkler have a premature ejaculation.

 

[Dazlington]

It's not often you see a PopUpSprinkler have a premature ejaculation.

I have no idea what you just said but thought it pertinent to point out that you go for carlton

 

[Laphroaig]

I have no idea what you just said but thought it pertinent to point out that you go for carlton

If you'd stopped typing after the first four words you would have captured the mood of the moment perfectly.

 

[Dazlington]

If you'd stopped typing after the first four words you would have captured the mood of the moment perfectly.

Have the blues too high?

 

[jezzajay]

Have the blues too high?

No but you are.

 

[Gameova_]

Divvy thread

 

[Isaac Cumming No 1]

It has come to my attention that the minnow Melbourne clubs continue to drag down the competition. Something needs to be done to address the below abject failures:

St Kilda - aweful list, shithouse off field, no fans, no future, 1 flag in their pathetic history and 27 spoons with huge chance for 28 - Dud. Delist/Fold

North - can’t attract talent, vanilla list, shithouse coach, few fans but the ones they have are more ******ed than most, list has them destined for at least a decade of below average output - trade to tassie for Matt Wade

Bulldogs - 2 flags in their pathetic history, no fans, no finances, shocking list and biggest ever fall from grace from their umpire assisted flag. Bottom 4 locks - Merge with Suns

Carlton - only side who could challenge St Kilda for the spoon, pathetic tanking for failed picks, worst coach in AFL history, less bad club overall than the three above so spared folding but have 5 years to get their shit together before they are gone for good - send to VFL

Hawthorn - unlike the others have had recent success but fans are either 4 legged or bandwagoners, tried to vote themselves out of existence once, horrendous list, bottom 6 locks. Future looks grim - no action required. Will vote themselves out of existence

Cats - based in Geelong, enough said - shut her down like any employers in the region


Daz’s 2019 ladder:

Crows
Eagles
Tigers
Pies
Lions
Dees
Giants
Bombers
Swans
Power
Cats
Dockers
Hawks
Suns
Blues
North
Dogs
Saints

Good insight.

 

[Bender_]

Bravo OP, 100% accurate.

Strap yourself in for the standard vanilla rebuttal attempts of "our league", "big 4" and references to irrelevant state league flags from 50 years ago.

Tired of these shit-stain clubs leaching off my club's off-field succes just to exist.

 

[the avoca drover]

Did laugh at the four legged Hawthorn reference and shutting down Geelong like the rest of the companies down there.

 

[Tom_Thumb]

5 Teams in Melbourne and relocate the rest, this way we might get more than one AFL game in a weekend in Perth. Fold up Geelong, they are just a stink that cant be washed out. Relocate Norths, Carlton, Bulldogs, Saints and the Cheats to other places and dissolve the ones who can't pay their own way.

 

[Isaac Cumming No 1]

4 Teams in Melbourne and relocate the rest, this way we might get more than one AFL game in a weekend in Perth.

As if there's a region that'd have the Bulldogs.

 

[Dazlington]

As if there's a region that'd have the Bulldigs.

Agree. Only solution is to do what clubs do with any players they don’t want.... dump them on the gold coast

 

[Isaac Cumming No 1]

Agree. Only solution is to do what clubs do with any players they don’t want.... dump them on the gold coast

I think Mars would best, and not the one in Ballarat. Does raise the problem of a pair to keep the numbers even though.

Maybe the others could play off in a shootout to the death with no rules or time limit roller ball style. Smallest crowd loses.

 

[Bender_]

**** relocating them, relegating is the way to go. Once they can prove that they can survive on their own well enough to not be a welfare club in the AFL then they can come and sit with grown ups.

Until then they can just sit quietly at the kiddy table and eat their shit sandwich.

 

[Laphroaig]

5 Teams in Melbourne and relocate the rest, this way we might get more than one AFL game in a weekend in Perth. Fold up Geelong, they are just a stink that cant be washed out. Relocate Norths, Carlton, Bulldogs, Saints and the Cheats to other places and dissolve the ones who can't pay their own way.

How about we just run a band saw down the WA border, and you can drift off into the Indian Ocean.

 

[Good_Old]

Too modest with the Lions prediction imo.

 

[Isaac Cumming No 1]

**** relocating them, relegating is the way to go. Once they can prove that they can survive on their own well enough to not be a welfare club in the AFL then they can come and sit with grown ups.

Until then they can just sit quietly at the kiddy table and eat their shit sandwich.

Yeah

****ing parasites

 

[chelseacarlton]

**** yeh man, ****en ‘ey man, **** ‘em, them ****ing good fa’ nuthin’ godanged leeches, leeches I tells ya’.
Wots a pie cost these days anyways?

 

[Dazlington]

Too modest with the Lions prediction imo.

Had we kept Beams we would have been a flag Smokey

 

[Isaac Cumming No 1]

**** yeh man, ****en ‘ey man, **** ‘em, them ******* good fa’ nuthin’ godanged leeches, leeches I tells ya’.
Wots a pie cost these days anyways?

Dollar

 

[Bender_]

**** yeh man, ****en ‘ey man, **** ‘em, them ******* good fa’ nuthin’ godanged leeches, leeches I tells ya’.
Wots a pie cost these days anyways?

They took our jerbs!