Media THE SAUSAGE FILES

[por_please_ya]

I honestly hope that he's safe and well IRL, that's all I really care about, that's more important than him coming back here you know?

 

[KohPhi]

Well written, easy on the eye and entertaining. Good work my meaty, intestine encased friend.

We may differ of our interpretation of 'colorful characters of the SFA' so far, but that's just me being picky.

 

[KohPhi]

You know this has been done before. BLERN did one and made me the central character however He tried to kill me off in the story. It wasn’t long after he started to shape the story in that context when he inexplicably disappeared from the league, Bigfooty and any other social media since. Coincidence? Not sure but I think you should think carefully about my role in this quaint little story you are building. Think the power of one and I’m PK

Capiche?

If I remember, we had sex in BLERN's version.

...was I good?

 

[fumbler]

You could be BLERN

Ahh Marklar.

 

[Sausages]

CHAPTER 7

THE SAUSAGE FILES (#sweetlore)

WOOSH OF THE WARRIORS​

Thursday. Woosh was finished her morning routine at the gym. Weights, aerobics 3 times a week....combat classes twice a week. Qooty stuff. Captain's duties. Leadership group meetings (her distaste for those was always palpable to those involved), League duties. It never ended. Sometimes, she wondered why she played at all. Then she remembered her one great joy.....the Sweet Animal Refuge. She was its major patron, courtesy of her Qooty career - when it needed funds, a fundraising night did the trick. If there was one reason to play Qooty, that was it. She was rough, she was tough, she'd been attacked before and she'd always come through. She had lived the highs and the lows. But the Animal Refuge was where she was happiest. Not animals in cages either. Free to run about, 1 carer to every animal, all paid for by her and the money that she brought in. She could have owned half of Attenboro if she wanted to, but there were already people helping out the poor and disadvantaged of that part of Sweet. She liked her apartment opposite Van Cortlandt Park. It was close to everything she needed.

The phone rang. She walked over to it, towel around her neck, barefoot on the thick rugs covering the floor. She grabbed it and turned back to look out the windows over the park and answered it.
"Hello, this be Woosh", she said.
"Hey Woosh, it's CWM. I had a meeting with MBP yesterday, from the Bears. He was wanting to set up a meeting between....I can only assume its on behalf of JWS....and The Jesus. He handed over some pretty useful information to me about a new housing initiative in Gumbania which checks out. I was going to text him where to find The Jesus, but just figured I'd check in with you first, in case you wanted me to hold off", CWM stated in a rush. She was clearly late for something, which wasn't at all unusual for her.
Woosh thought for a moment.
"Hmmmm, interesting. I'm guessing he didn't mention why?", she asked hopefully but knowing full well what the answer would be.
"Nope. It seemed urgent though. And certainly something he wished kept quiet, as we met in a really out of the way place", said CWM.
Woosh pondered. It wasn't unheard of for a team captain to meet with another high ranking member of another team, but it was unusual. Especially in season. And especially when there was no other news filtering through. Or at least, news that she was aware of.
"Hold off responding for a bit, CWM, if you could. I'll get PK on it and get back to you. How long until you have to let him know?", she inquired.
"Sometime this arvo, ideally. No later than early evening", responded CWM.
"Got it. That should be heaps of time. I'll let you know later", she finished and hung the phone up. She sat down on her couch, looking at the bright sunshine illuminating the green fields of the park and dialed PK.

"Hello, O Mighty Captain of Sweet's greatest team!" said PK brightly. She liked him, but sometimes he got right up her nose. He said shit like that to her to piss her off. Which it often did. Not now though, it was all business.
"PK, you knob end. I need to know if there are any whispers about the network on JWS, the Bears, The Jesus or the Hawks. Anything at all. Whaddya got?, she asked swiftly.
"Ah, rightio - gimme a second, let me check", he said smartly. PK was part of a semi-clandestine network of people in the League. Some powerful, some not, but all information about players, past and present and future, came through them. If you wanted to play Qooty, sooner or later you had to be vetted by them, one way or another. It was an unofficial old boys network, a collection of people who looked out for the league in ways that escaped public scrutiny. A player had a big night on the nosebeers? The OBN would know about it well before it hit the press. Lost your trousers at a strip club at 4AM? Call the OBN, and someone would get it sorted, for a price. If it concerned a player, or a team, the OBN usually found out about it. Usually, but not always. They had in the past been accused of orchestrating player movements between clubs, captaincy spills and the like but two things always came to light - there was no proof and an argument could be made either way. Most people thought they were a necessary part of the League - in the absence of a Players Union, it was the OBN who could get shit done. Pk's voice came over the line.
"Nope, nada Woosh. All the birds are quiet, the chirping across the network is the regular sound of players doing dumb shit", he said.
"Rightio - CWM has just told me that JWS wants to meet with The Jesus - can you think of any reason why that would concern us?", she queried. She was the captain - but a wise captain listened to her advisors and PK had been around a looooong time.
"Hmmmm. No, I can't see any reason why we'd be threatened here Woosh, but I'll put the feelers out and we can see what comes back. It could be nothing more than a mid-season player movement, but that wouldn't explain why The Jesus would be involved and not the captain of the Hawks. If there's anything going on, we'll hear back in a day. The Bears are pretty easy to read, usually. Helps when they all live in one place", he laughed. She smiled to herself, silently agreeing.
"Ok then. Keep me in the loop," and hung the phone up.

She texted CWM with an ok to go and sat back in her couch. It was probably nothing. But it paid to keep on your toes in Sweet. The ground here could shift very quickly. She was joined on the couch by her new kitten and they watched the clouds sail past in the bright blue sky.

 

[Sausages]

CHAPTER 7 NEWS REPORT

THE SAUSAGE FILES (#sweetlore)

FROM THE SWEET DAILY​

LATE BREAKING NEWS - FRIDAY MORNING

Sweet Police have been shocked at reports of five deaths over night, in scenes one officer described as "like out of a movie"

Four delisted players of the Las Vegas Bears have been found slain in their apartments overnight. Police aren't yet releasing their names as a coroner's report is expected later this morning. Across town, the body of a former captain of the Baghdad Bombers and winner of the club's Best and Fairest, the dougthelegend medal, was found in his home. Police are appealing for witnesses, saying there is signs of forced entry and a struggle. The coroner's office will release further details once the man's family and club have been notified.

 

[por_please_ya]

Omg loving it!!!

 

[por_please_ya]

CHAPTER 7 NEWS REPORT

THE SAUSAGE FILES (#sweetlore)

FROM THE SWEET DAILY​

LATE BREAKING NEWS - FRIDAY MORNING

Sweet Police have been shocked at reports of five deaths over night, in scenes one officer described as "like out of a movie"

Four delisted players of the Las Vegas Bears have been found slain in their apartments overnight. Police aren't yet releasing their names as a coroner's report is expected later this morning. Across town, the body of a former captain of the Baghdad Bombers and winner of the club's Best and Fairest, the dougthelegend medal, was found in his home. Police are appealing for witnesses, saying there is signs of forced entry and a struggle. The coroner's office will release further details once the man's family and club have been notified.

HaroLad?!

 

[Agent93]

@the captain of the Hawks

It's true. I am the captain of the Hawks.

 

[Sausages]

CHAPTER 8

THE SAUSAGE FILES (#sweetlore)

THE ARTIST​

Monday. It had been a terrible weekend for JoshWoodenSpoon. The Bears had lost their game at home against the Bombers, the playing group in shock at the deaths of tim_saints, gordo2016, magpienato and caloschwaby. The Bombers, meanwhile, were also reeling from the brutal murder of their former captain High Ryder. Added to that, the Chief was asking after MWPP, keen to see some progress on the CHUD research. He was balancing a team in shock with an irritated CEO and an upcoming meeting with The Jesus, who would be in town at a secret location later this week in preparation for the weekend's game with the Bears. JWS wasn't keen on travelling to a "secret location", but he had no choice - any meeting within the context of the game would be looked at very dimly. He was exposed. The Jesus knew it too - the meeting COULD have happened earlier, but events on Friday conspired against JWS. Then the weekend's match was all anyone wanted to talk about in light of the tragedies suffered by both clubs. It galled him no end that he was approaching this week from a position of weakness. He needed a break.

Across town, a young artist was sitting in her studio. She had a few bruises on her stomach after a pretty rough game of Qooty on the weekend. But, for Xen, that was all part of the fun. She liked getting out on the Qooty field after a week of painting. She hoped to one day make a League team, but was always torn between the competing desires of dedication to her art and the life of a professional Qooty player. Her art was her life...she struggled to see herself as attending training sessions and sacrificing her artistic expression. She had an upcoming exhibition at a gallery opening and hoped to make some good connections there. She was always a little nervous in a crowd, but so long as she could talk art and not get distracted by other things, she was ok. She looked up from her easel as the doorbell rang. A pleasant young woman had entered the studio and was looking at her work. She moved slowly, stopping now and then before each one, before moving on. Xen had arranged her display in chronological order - and the woman was now looking at some of her early work. Xen got nervous. This was usually when a potential buyer left the shop. It was her more recent work that was selling, not her older stuff.

Porps stopped in front of one painting. It was of the sun and the colours merged in the most fantastic way, yellows of all shades skillfully articulated across the canvas. There was something about it, some quality that she couldn't quite put her finger on. It radiated a sense of calmness, of harmony. And she had no idea why. She turned to the woman behind her easel.
"Is this one of yours?", she asked politely. Xen put her brush down and walked over.
"Yes, it is. It's one of my older pieces. Most people think it's boring. I'm not sure why I still have it hung, to be honest", she said quietly. Porps smiled at her.
"Do you mind if I take a photo of it?", she said.
"No", answered Xen, "that's fine. I guess you need to show it to someone?" Porps nodded.
"Yes, it would be for my office and I need to make sure it wouldn't look out of place. I have an assistant who has the most marvelous sense of style when it comes to decorating. I work near the hospital, in a clinic. Everything needs to be just so", she finished with a smile. Porps took her phone and held it up...and gasped. The picture, seen through the lens on her phone, was....different. It was moving. The radiating light cascaded across the canvas, as if the painter was painting a live action replica of the event. Like a shot from a movie, the painting was alive. It was both stunning and unnerving. Xen looked at her with a nervous expression on her face.
"What's wrong?", she asked worriedly. Porps looked at her.
"Did you know this, that the painting did this?", she questioned, showing Xen the display on her phone. Xen looked at it and began to tremble.
"No, I didn't. But I wondered why I liked it so much. Now I can see why. I hope you don't mind, but I can't really talk to you about this piece. I'm sorry", she said, moving towards the painting and starting to remove it. Porps stopped her.
"You see it, don't you? The....otherness.....in things? And somehow you've been able to capture it in this painting. Please, don't be afraid. I won't buy it, but I would like to come back, if you don't mind. Or see you somewhere, a place comfortable, somewhere we can talk. I've been looking for someone like you", she said, smiling. Xen looked at her dubiously, instantly guarded.
"What do you mean, someone like me?", she said, eyes narrowing. Porps began to rummage in her bag.
"Here. This is my card. Look me up, make some calls, do what you have to. But we need to talk, about what you can do and what you can see. You could be the most important person in all of Sweet right now", Porps replied. Xen took the card without looking at it. She felt sick and wanted to go home.
Porps looked again at the painting.
"I didn't take a photo of it, so don't worry. But I'd love a chance to talk with you in the future. It's really important, but I understand this is all a bit unreal right now. Please, think about what I've said. Take care," she finished, making her way to the door. Xen looked at the business card.

INSTITUTE FOR EXTRAORDINARY PERCEPTION
Dr Porps PleaseYa
Senior Researcher, Visual Acuity

Xen looked out the front window of her studio, and burst into tears.

 

[Yakker]

If I remember, we had sex in BLERN's version.

...was I good?

As always my sweet prince

 

[Yakker]

I hope he's ok. Do you see the similarities with Ace minus the media?

Do you see the similarities with Sausages including the media?

 

[Yakker]

"Hey Woosh, it's @CWM. I had a meeting with @MBP yesterday, from the Bears. He was wanting to set up a meeting between....I can only assume its on behalf of @JWS...

**** me can I buy a vowel?

 

[por_please_ya]

Haha yay! That was really cool. Poor Xen though
Maybe we can meet in sausageroll's bakery?!

 

[Yakker]

I did read his story as part of my research on the league and other things....it was pretty good and a shame it was/is unfinished.

I reckon you’d be perfect to finish it eventually

 

[Sausages]

I reckon you’d be perfect to finish it eventually

I could do that.

Spoiler

CHAPTER 12

And then "evry1" died.

But "Th' JSS" resurrected them. Except YKR.

The End

 

[Sausages]

CHAPTER 9

THE SAUSAGE FILES (#sweetlore)

HERE BE DRAGONS​

Monday night. JoshWoodenSpoon turned out the lights in his living area and headed for bed. He had a big agenda tomorrow - he couldn't put the Chief off any longer so he'd arranged a 10AM visit to the Executive offices. He planned to send Tandy down to the Brunswick Junction Oval to talk with the Roys about getting his hands on some CHUD samples, so that would require a briefing and he needed to confirm the arrangements with Its Manbearpig regarding the "secret location" of his meeting with The Jesus. As he made his way into his bedroom, the phone rang. He looked at his watch. It was almost midnight. Chances are this was bad - the phone never rang this late with good news. He picked it up.

"Hey bro", said a voice, with a jaunty, pleasant air.
"Errr....hello? Who's this?", asked JWS.
"This, my friend, is The Jesus", said The Jesus with faint amusement. "Turn on your television." JWS, half stunned and somewhat disbelieving, moved to do exactly that. The screen flicked on and there, sitting in an ornate leather chair, sat The Jesus, next to which was a simple lamp and a small occasional table. He was dressed in a simple robe which periodically flickered to a different colour. He was holding a maß of beer, which he calmly took a sip of whilst waiting for JWS to say something. He appeared decidedly relaxed and unhurried. Which, in fact, he was.
"You can put the phone down mate", said The Jesus."You don't need it anymore. Welcome to the....secret location", he said with a smile. JWS sat on his couch, still somewhat in a state of shock.
"How are you doing this? Can you see me? Have you got this room bugged?" asked JWS in a rising state of panic, an altogether unpleasant sensation. The Jesus smiled again, showing a row of pristine white teeth in dazzling display of warmth.
"No man, not at all. I have just....requisitioned....your television for a time, that's all. Its now functioning as a two-way screen, allowing us to discuss the issues of the day. When our meeting is concluded, you simply flick the switch and all will be as it was", answered The Jesus. He drank some more beer.
"Ah, rightio," said JWS with an air of detachment. His mind was already planning on getting someone to look into this tomorrow. For now, he needed to focus and his mind snapped into the present.

"Fair enough then The Jesus. I wasn't aware you could actually do this, but that's for another time. And this is certainly better than scurrying off to a secret location. But why the need for the misdirection at all?", questioned JWS.
"Oh, JWS...I like you. I really do. There is always a need for misdirection in Sweet. Say one thing, do another, explain it away as something else altogether. You'll figure it out, I'm sure. Now, to more relevant matters. You have questions and I have answers. So.....ask away and let us begin the exchange of information!" said The Jesus, as if announcing the start of a cabaret. JWS rubbed his chin and decided to ask the most obvious question first.
"Who, exactly, is the Chief?"
"The Chief? Well, the Chief is many things JWS. She is an appointee to the Bears as a CEO, which isn't something widely done in the League, ever. And the League is a concept that I hope you understand and I'll presume you do for now although it will re-enter our discussion later. She is also, and this is I think the answer you are after, not who she appears to be. Her name is, in fact, Portia." The Jesus waited expectantly.

JWS had no idea who Portia was, so that begged the question....
"Who is Portia?"
"Portia is a former member of the Swamprats and, before that, a club called 'Darkness Eternal'. However, it's her association with the Swamprats that is the most relevant. The Swamprats have always had a thing with the Roys - hard drinking, hard Qooty - and central to this has been CHUD. But, for some in the Swamprats, it became an obsession. Not so much what CHUD was....but what CHUD wasn't. And what it wasn't, for the Swamprats anyway, was the problem. See, the Swamprats were one of the first clubs to figure out something about Dragon Island, largely due to their proximity to that landmass. Officially, there is no record of dragons in Sweet. But let me ask you a question, JWS.....where did the word come from, if there have never been dragons?", asked The Jesus with a note of triumph. JWS shifted in his chair. He had never thought about that before, in all honesty.
"I.....I don't know. I'll grant you that it does seem strange", he conceded. Privately, he wondered why everyone seemed so philosophical and regretted he hadn't done any PHIL subjects at University. The Jesus continued.
"Right. Dragon Island was named because of it's shape. Now, why would someone say something looks like something else, when that something else has no record, official or otherwise, of existence? Because, JWS, Captain of the Bears and now captain falling down a rabbit hole.....there WERE dragons in Sweet. A long long time ago. And one of them was buried beneath Dragon Island. Furthermore, the original inhabitants ate of its decaying flesh shortly before disappearing, never to be heard from again. Where did they go? How? And that's why the Swamprats became so interested in CHUD. They wondered what would happen if you made CHUD from DRAGON FLESH." The Jesus stopped and took a sip of his beer.

"What would happen?" asked JWS with a curiosity that somewhat scared him.
"What would happen? Well, it's an interesting question. And one that I cannot easily answer. But, let me try to give you some background and for that we'll need to take a rather circuitous route through aspects of the League that you mightn't be as familiar with as you think. Grab yourself a drink, this could take a while", The Jesus said, grinning that winning smile. JWS did just that. And remembered, suddenly, the chair in the Chief's executive office......

(there's a Part 2 to this chapter coming shortly, but I didn't want to make the post too long....The Jesus will continue his exposition)

 

[RelaxMax]

It's pretty common on forums. Those that go hard fast tend to fade quick too

pretty much

 

[RelaxMax]

Well written, easy on the eye and entertaining. Good work my meaty, intestine encased friend.

We may differ of our interpretation of 'colorful characters of the SFA' so far, but that's just me being picky.

<---- every colour of the rainbow

 

[RelaxMax]

Love your work Snags

 

[Sausages]

Love your work Snags

Thanks mate - it won't be to everyone's taste, but really, what is?

I'm having fun and not offending people, so those two things are really all that matters in this specific exercise.

 

[RelaxMax]

When I get some more time I'ma gonna read it again (with my reading glasses on) and a glass of the finest red I cannot afford

 

[por_please_ya]

Omg is it weird that I heard The Jesus's voice in my head lol.... You've been on too many podcasts mate.

 

[Sausages]

CHAPTER 9 PART TWO


THE SAUSAGE FILES (#sweetlore)

WHERE DOES FANTASY STOP AND REALITY START​

JoshWoodenSpoon sat back down. The Jesus looked at him with a twinkle of pity mixed with humour. He thought it was crazy now....oh boy.
"Right then, JWS. The League. This.....thing....we call 'The League' is, effectively, an amorphous mass of people. Above the teams and the team captains, there is 'The League'. What it is, however, is a collective mind, a unity of purpose. Comprised of captains and other senior persons at clubs. Now then. At clubs, there are, in general, a few different sorts of player. There are rookies. There are the rank and file. Then there are leadership groups, usually a collection of senior players. Within the leadership groups are players of differing authority level. Then there are captains. However, it is the people within the leadership group and some captains that concern this discussion. Some of them function as what we call Mods or Admins. You are familiar with these terms I take it?", queried The Jesus. JWS nodded.
"Yes, although we don't have any Mods or Admins at the Bears. Not yet, anyway," he replied.

"Indeed. Well, what these people do is they facilitate the smooth running of the League as a whole. They make sure that player movements are functioning with a transparency that satisfies others, they ensure that rookies are in fact rookies, that captains are submitting team sheets on time...all the myriad of processes that together make up what we call 'a smooth running operation'. Additionally, however, they have some....limited.....capacity to influence the League's operations. They can, for example, enforce suspensions on captains who erroneously submit team sheets for example. If a captain, in this example, were to take the field, the League would react with penalties and other punishments - by simply ordering it be so. This is the rule of engagement within the league, that all players agree to. But where, exactly, is this authority derived? Who provides the power for this to happen? Can a player simply...refuse to comply? Could a suspended or otherwise ineligible player just...take the field? In short....where is the authority coming from? Players don't vote on Admins or Mods. They are SELECTED. But by whom? Another committee, usually. But how do you get on that committee? By playing in the League. For how long do you need to play? And who decides when you've reached the acceptable level? The average Qooty fan doesn't care, so long as 20 players front up each week - and it is this apathy from the populace of Sweet, their inability to influence decisions that underpins the accumulation of power by Admins and Mods. In many cases, it is of no great concern - it is a self-regulating system. And the clubs, in general, select good people to these positions. But what happens when one turns bad? When the wrong candidate is selected?", prodded The Jesus. JWS looked around at the darkness in his rooms, out through the plasti-glass windows and into the night sky. He had no idea.
"I don't know. It's not something that's ever really concerned me, in all honesty. I assume that there'd be checks and balances somewhere or from someone....." , his voice trailed off.

"YES!! YES, that's EXACTLY the case. There are checks and balances to their authority and ultimately their decisions", exclaimed The Jesus, leaping up excitedly from his seat. "But, what you DON'T know is....WHO THAT PERSON OR GROUP OF PERSONS ARE. And that, my bear in the rabbit hole, THAT is what you need to find out. Do I know the answer? No, I don't. I know that they are THERE though. And how do I know? The old records show that, occasionally, a game is replayed, or to say it another way, REALITY IS REWRITTEN. This is evidence of their effects on the Qooty, which far surpass that of club appointed Mods or Admins. Could this power be used to simply....change the game result? Adjust the scores? The stats? The very integrity of the League is threatened here. But, consider this. Some people don't like relinquishing that power. The power, once clasped, filtering through their fingers, filling their minds with its song of joy.....once that is removed, they fester inside. Turning in on themselves, they seethe and brood. In short, they become dangerous. Portia, dear Portia, is connected to a group of these people. And this is why she so needs you. She needs you, the Bears, to unlock the secret to this world. The ones behind her, THEY HAD that power. And they crave it again, they yearn for it. But they cannot re-enter the league as players. The Old Boys Network wouldn't let them. Many people dislike or criticise the furtive actions of the OBN, but, in truth, they have been the first, and sometimes only, line of defense against people who would otherwise destabilise the League's operation. So, this shadowy group concocted a ploy to insert Portia back into the League via the CEO trial, thus bypassing the barricades of the OBN, and with a plan to grasp that secret to unlocking that power for themselves again", said The Jesus, once more resuming his seat. JWS though about his instruction from the Chief to hunt down CHUD and MWPP's research into fine tuning or empowering it. The prospect was chilling.

"Ok. So, how does that tie into the Dragons?", questioned JWS. The Jesus, for the first time, looked at him with genuine pity.
"You must, at all costs, prevent them investigating DRAGON CHUD. It gets tricky, though. They are likely too powerful to be killed and nobody, outside of Portia, actually knows where or who they are or what they are capable of. I know they are there, because it is my job to know. The Hawks are the League's eyes, a legacy of our origins from our founder Wally. He was there, at the start. He knew what came before, he saw the League created from the wreckage of the past, the ashes of failed clubs remade into something new. Each club has a purpose. Some will share this information with others, some won't. For the Hawks, it is that we see things in Sweet, that affect the Qooty specifically, that others cannot, but much is always hidden....especially in the darkness, in the shadowy meetings, in rooms and offices awash with darkened corners. The Swamprat idea of DRAGON CHUD is key, along with why an entire island of people disappeared after being exposed to Dragon Island - mysteries you must solve. You must go along with the plan for now, armed as you now are with the fore-knowledge of potentialities. You need to get to Dragon Island and investigate the catacombs beneath it. Find out what you can from there. And continue on the path", offered The Jesus. He had finished his beer and JWS got the distinct impression the meeting was drawing to a close.
"Ok. Well, I can't really just go poking about underneath Dragon Island, nor can I easily send my team there to do so. Have you got any advice?", asked JWS. The Jesus smiled his winning smile again.
"I have already shown you the way, JWS. That was me, on that day, holding that sign. At Abdu Prison, in a specific storeroom, are the records of one Kris Tovers Case. Seek them out. And protect your artist. Good luck." With that, the screen went dark.

JWS was left alone with his thoughts, the night sky seeming to close about him in a chilling premonition. He needed more information on all this. He needed to speak with some senior people at other clubs. There was much there that made sense to him, but much that did not. He had very little evidence to support the view that all this was anything other than....Qooty. Wasn't Qooty just....40 players on a Sunday, chasing a ball around a park, kicking it through the big sticks? As for "each team having a purpose".....he had no idea what that meant. Teams were just teams, weren't they? And who was Kris Tovers Case? And why didn't people KNOW all this stuff?

As he turned off the television at his end the final words of The Jesus leapt back at him. Artist, he thought? What artist?

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

Hello everyone.

I have been working on a story, which will be presented here over the course of the next few days/weeks (no idea, tbh - as long as it takes to write).

It is a story utilising the lore of Sweet, as contained in the Wiki, the Minecraft World and the various histories of the teams. It is my hope that it will be considered worthy enough of being added to the lexicon of Sweet lore, but I leave that decision to others and for a time when the story is finished.

It will feature an unfolding storyline, featuring every team and drawing on some of their more colourful personalities and well-known posters, along with people not as widely known and, in some cases, forgotten. I shall be including Bears match thread content as part of the story, hence why I cannot give an accurate date of when the story will be finished - some teams I have already played I shall write in now and in the following days, whilst other content (such as the content featuring the Bombers for example), I won't write until I play that team.

I'd rather this didn't become a shit fight thread, but if it does, so be it. The story isn't an exercise in making people uncomfortable. It is simply a story, based on my research of past threads, past conflicts and my own interests.

Many thanks to the people who have already contributed their thoughts through PM's and to the work of Mobbs and Cloud_, whose drive to expand on the lore will, I hope, be given a new dimension in my minor contribution and whose work forms the background of the story. Where possible, I use previous lore to provide the verisimilitude to the overall story arc. In other words, it needs to make sense, to fit within the broader content already expounded rather than alter or rewrite that content.

CHAPTER 1 - THE CHIEF (where we meet the Chief, JWS and first thoughts on the SIM)
CHAPTER 2 - THOMAS2 ON THE CASE (JWS sets T2 a task)
CHAPTER 3 - THE FIVE IN THE SHADOWS (A shady bunch from Gumbania are introduced)
CHAPTER 4 - THE MEETING (MWPP and JWS)
CHAPTER 5 - FIRST CONTACT (TJASTA, Tigerturbulence and rfctiger74....and someone with blue and yellow shoes)
CHAPTER 6 - EXCHANGE (Its Manbearpig and comewhatmay do their stuff)
CHAPTER 7 - WOOSH OF THE WARRIORS (Where Woosh and PK get wind of the planned meeting)
CHAPTER 7 - NEWS REPORT
CHAPTER 8 - THE ARTIST (Where Porps meets Xen)
CHAPTER 9 - HERE BE DRAGONS (The Jesus reveals, like some dude abides)
CHAPTER 9 - WHERE DOES FANTASY STOP AND REALITY START (The Jesus gets metaphysical)

(note on Chapter 9, part 2 - it's very heavy, not fun and not worth reading if the idea of Qooty being anchored in some sort of reality is of no interest to you. It is, however, a necessary explanation for the author to feel that the overall story has "meaning")

Interesting work snags, huge amount of effort's gone into this, haven't got through it all yet but will resist the urge to TLDR and give it a look.

'Operation: Don't win the EKA' seems well on track here.

On an unrelated note, guess that throws my thread idea on the scrap heap.