Family & Relationships Alcoholic brother?

[Millington Magic]

Hey everyone, I'm really concerned with my brother, 21, and his drinking. He probably consumes about half a slab a night, every night and me and my mother in particular do not know what to do. He lives with our father who is disabled so can't do anything to stop him drinking. Our mother has kicked him out of our home as she knows she can't handle it. As a whole, we do not know what not to do. He does not listen to anything we say... He has no friends, no life, just wants to drink his life away.

Any one on here had similar situations and if so how did you handle it?

 

[AtomicBlonde]

There really isn't much you can do. He would have to first admit he has a problem and then WANT to help himself kick it. Not just say it but really mean it and then and only then would you be in a position to help him.

 

[Ed_Gein]

Can only do so much before he has to wake up to himself and realise what he is doing.

tbh, i was heading the same way. Was drinking 3 bottles of jack daniels plus 1 or 2 4packs of the pre-mixed ones to tide me over on the days when i didnt have a 750ml bottle. (a week) and it was a struggle to hold back and not go any further. all i did was play gears of war 2 every day and drink the shit.

eventually snapped out of it in a way and decided to go backpacking around for a while and tbh, only been drunk 10 times or so in the last year since i left.

 

[CrippsonBlue]

Add 20+ years and you have my old man.

Pretty sad - was a top bloke when sober, but alcohol has done a fair bit of damage, and he is a very changed person now.

Obviously tried over the years to help him and get him off it - he did try a few times, and managed to stop for a few months here and there, but don't think he ever truly wanted to stop enough to make it happen.

One of the biggest problems with my dad though was that all his mates were alcoholics, so I think that played a big part in him failing to get off it - if your brother has few/no friends, that might even be a good thing when he does try and stop, simply having that family support and no negative influences.

Not sure you will be able to get him to stop though - think you just need to reiterate you think he is going to heavy on the alcohol, and wait for him to eventually care enough to make the change.

Problem with drinking so heavily is that you start to alienate people over the years, which only fuels bitterness/anger/hate, resulting in more drinking and making it harder to ever stop.

I don't have a relationship with my dad anymore, and it wasn't fun to watch the man I once idealized to deteriorate over the years to get to the point he as at now.

Hope things turn around for your brother, but he has a long way to go before getting to this point, or being unable to get off it even if he wanted to, so just gotta hope he gets out of this dark patch sooner rather than later.

Guess the only other thing I'd say is to ensure you know why he is drinking - if there is a factor causing him to drink, such as depression, alcoholism is of much less concern. The way you've described him, could very well be the case, and would probably need to get him to open up to someone anyway you can (be it family or a professional) fairly soon.

 

[Poseidon]

Had a friend who's Uncle literally drunk himself to death after his mum passed. Was tragic. As far as I know the family did all they could to lend him a helping hand but theres only so much you can do for somebody who doesn't want to help themselves.

Try and get him professional help, but don't force it upon him otherwise you'll distance yourself further. Try and get him just to go to a couple appointments to you as a favour, if he won't go for himself.

But really all you can do is be there and hope he comes around.

 

[DREAM TEAM BUFF]

His kidneys are going to be stuffed

 

[hayes]

His kidneys are going to be stuffed

Not to mention his liver.