Collingwood Jokes

[gazisgod]

just to ease all the focus on friday, here is a ripper collingwood joke :

a boy's parents are getting separated, the judge asks "do you want to stay with ur father?", the boy declines because he claims his father beats him up. the judge then asks, "so u want to stay with ur mother?" the boy again declines because his mother also beats him up. so the judge asks "then who do you want to stay with?" the boy answers "the Collingwood Football Club". The judge looks suprised and asks "Why do u want to stay with the pies".

The boy replies "because they beat nobody"

any other jks would be great

 

[Brasil2007]

Q. What has 88 legs, 16 wheels and 100 teeth?
A. Bus load of Collingwood supporters.

 

[FTW_]

There was a few in that old joke thread...
I even said a few of them to this girl who sooks at everything.
Her reply was "I go for Collingwood," so I said another joke about them and she goes "THAT OFFENDS ME." and stormed off.
Funniest day ever.

 

[catpounce]

Mick Malthouse takes Collingwood on an off season trip to Iraq to see Aussie troops on the frontline and gain some inspiration. Whilst the team are having a kick an iraqi blokes joins in. So impressive are his natural abilities Collingwood draft him on the spot. After a stellar first season, including a copeland trophy and all-australian selection the boy rings his mother. "Son thats great news about your football but thing have been terrible for us. You little brother stepped on a landmine, your little sister sold into slavery, your father was stabbed and i have been r*ped" "Well geez mum I can't help but feel responsible" "Yeh your responsible none of this would have happened if we didn't move to bloody COllingwood!"

 

[gazisgod]

Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps? They had pictures of Collingwood players on them ... and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.​

 

[hawka_fan]

just to ease all the focus on friday, here is a ripper collingwood joke :

a boy's parents are getting separated, the judge asks "do you want to stay with ur father?", the boy declines because he claims his father beats him up. the judge then asks, "so u want to stay with ur mother?" the boy again declines because his mother also beats him up. so the judge asks "then who do you want to stay with?" the boy answers "the Collingwood Football Club". The judge looks suprised and asks "Why do u want to stay with the pies".

The boy replies "because they beat nobody"

any other jks would be great

LMAO gold

THis is an old one - not about collingwood but carlton

What has 88 legs but cant climb a ladder?
Carlton

 

[hawka_fan]

Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps? They had pictures of Collingwood players on them ... and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.​

haha

where do you get all these.

 

[gazisgod]

haha

where do you get all these.

ive remembered a few but if you go on google you'd probably get heaps

 

[FTW_]

Lol #1.
Lol #2.

 

[chunk_master]

how many all australian players got robbed of the all australian team because undeserving geelong players got in?

oops this is collingwood jokes... sorry

 

[FTW_]

how many all australian players got robbed of the all australian team because undeserving geelong players got in?

oops this is collingwood jokes... sorry

Still whinging about no Collingwood players in AA when this thread has nothing to do with AA?
Let it go.


How do you know a Collingwood supporter's been in your house?
Your bin's empty, your thongs are missing and your dog's pregnant.

 

[chunk_master]

hehe i'm pissing around mate... i just think cam mooney shouldnt have got in ahed of lance franklin

but comical jokes!

 

[haywood jablome]

I have a good joke..... Collingwood

 

[Hoffy95]

just to ease all the focus on friday, here is a ripper collingwood joke :

a boy's parents are getting separated, the judge asks "do you want to stay with ur father?", the boy declines because he claims his father beats him up. the judge then asks, "so u want to stay with ur mother?" the boy again declines because his mother also beats him up. so the judge asks "then who do you want to stay with?" the boy answers "the Collingwood Football Club". The judge looks suprised and asks "Why do u want to stay with the pies".

The boy replies "because they beat nobody"

any other jks would be great

Yeah I remember that. There's a better version of it though that reads like a newspaper article. Here 'tis:


Young child stuck in the middle ongoing custody battle - AAP

A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a Melbourne Children's Court courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his Aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her.
When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to Collingwood Football Club whom the boy firmly believes are incapable of beating anyone.

 

[gazisgod]

what is the difference between a park bench and a collingwood supporter

a park bench can support a family

 

[MBIB]

tell me if i have gone too far with this joke

what is the difference between a park bench and a collingwood supporter

a park bench can support a family

Not too far in my book

these are JOKES after all

 

[fugsy]

A Collingwood supporting mother of seven is standing in a Centrelink line one day, when all her children started to mess around a bit. "Nathan! Get the **** over here now and shut the **** up!" she screams, and to everyone's surprise, all seven of the children come back to her and stand quietly.

One onlooker's curiosity got the better of her, so she asks the woman "Did you really name all of your children Nathan?".

"Damn straight" she says. "Named em all after Bucks, the greatest Collingwood player ever to play the game".

"Doesn't that get confusing?" the woman asks...a little confused. "I mean, what if you only want to call one of them?"

"Oh that's easy" she says. "I just call them by their last names".

 

[gazisgod]

A Collingwood supporting mother of seven is standing in a Centrelink line one day, when all her children started to mess around a bit. "Nathan! Get the **** over here now and shut the **** up!" she screams, and to everyone's surprise, all seven of the children come back to her and stand quietly.

One onlooker's curiosity got the better of her, so she asks the woman "Did you really name all of your children Nathan?".

"Damn straight" she says. "Named em all after Bucks, the greatest Collingwood player ever to play the game".

"Doesn't that get confusing?" the woman asks...a little confused. "I mean, what if you only want to call one of them?"

"Oh that's easy" she says. "I just call them by their last names".

what a pisser

 

[Crosby87]

A Collingwood supporting mother of seven is standing in a Centrelink line one day, when all her children started to mess around a bit. "Nathan! Get the **** over here now and shut the **** up!" she screams, and to everyone's surprise, all seven of the children come back to her and stand quietly.

One onlooker's curiosity got the better of her, so she asks the woman "Did you really name all of your children Nathan?".

"Damn straight" she says. "Named em all after Bucks, the greatest Collingwood player ever to play the game".

"Doesn't that get confusing?" the woman asks...a little confused. "I mean, what if you only want to call one of them?"

"Oh that's easy" she says. "I just call them by their last names".

Gold.

 

[pies_this_year]

A Collingwood supporting mother of seven is standing in a Centrelink line one day, when all her children started to mess around a bit. "Nathan! Get the **** over here now and shut the **** up!" she screams, and to everyone's surprise, all seven of the children come back to her and stand quietly.

One onlooker's curiosity got the better of her, so she asks the woman "Did you really name all of your children Nathan?".

"Damn straight" she says. "Named em all after Bucks, the greatest Collingwood player ever to play the game".

"Doesn't that get confusing?" the woman asks...a little confused. "I mean, what if you only want to call one of them?"

"Oh that's easy" she says. "I just call them by their last names".

i'l have to admit-i truly lol at this one!!

But in my mind i changed it to port adelaide

 

[fugsy]

i'l have to admit-i truly lol at this one!!

But in my mind i changed it to port adelaide

And all the kids would be named Warren

 

[CF]

I heard this one recently:

Q: What is 20m long and only has 3 teeth?

A: The front row of the Collingwood Cheer Squad