Collins > Judd at same age

[Snout]

I was a sceptic at first, but I got down to training the other day, and my god, TT was right.

This Collins kid is something else. It was like he was playing a different game to everyone else. Still footy, that is, but yeah, you get my meaning. He was awesome.

I mean, some players have a natural instinct about being in the right place to mark the footy, but Collins.. you could tell that he didn't just watch the flight of the ball, he was actually performing lightning-fast mental three-dimensional calculus to perfectly triangulate the arrival vector of the aggot. Magical.

And when he went for a grab, his hands were vice-like. I'm talking the sort of grip that would put a pissed off grizzly bear to shame.

As far as his delivery was concerned, regardless of whether by hand or foot (and on one amusing occasion, both), he was hitting targets like they owed him money (or as though they were Andrew Lovett's girlfriend. Yeah.)

Has a bit of mongrel in him too. Pretty sure I heard him say to Jake King "if you're gonna whine like a bitch, I'm gonna slap you like a bitch". I turned around at that point to grab a beer off a mate, heard a loud slapping noise, and turned back to see Kingy lying on the ground crying like a girl, Collins standing over him with this crazy look in his eyes, laughing like a madman.

Add on to this his ability to crash packs, bust midfields wide open with his whippet-like pace, extract hard ball like a hard ball extraction machine, and singlehandedly win games like no other player since David Bourke, and I'm pretty sure you'll all agree that we're on to something pretty freakin special here.

Looking forward to round one, where having kicked his fifth goal on a demoralised Chris Judd after the siren to win the game, this new tiger superstar walks up to the channel 9 boundary rider, grabs the mic, says "I'm Andy Collins, bitch", spits, chucks the mic on the ground, and lights up a ciggie to properly kick back and enjoy the moment.

2008. Year of the Collins.

 

[RichosGuns]

I hear that the AFL has actually heavily reimbursed the Richmond footy club in order for them to keep Collins playing at a mere 12% and in the seconds for Coburg because he is soooo good that if he ever was to play at full tilt Richmond would simply never concede a goal

 

[nugget_12]

Holy crap! now just watch the Carlton scum come a running!

 

[sante]

The AFL is paying us $1million a year to not name him in any matches because it gives us an unfair advantage.

 

[The Rusty Trombone]

Great Post Snout. Andy Collins definately has the ability to do all these things but I think you'll find its the character of the kid thats sets him apart. With all his future success Andy will take a more workman like approach to his game and a low key approach to the media attention that will soon engulf the lad.

There is a far chance that after his debut which will more than likely be at the G . Uncontrollable ladies in the crowd will be showering him with their underpants as he is chaired off the ground by his team mates after a best on ground performance.

Andy Collins has no doubt got the Kavorka and their will be Collins mania amongst the birds where ever he goes but un like Kramer, Andy will use his powers with the ladies for the greater good and probably marry his child hood sweat heart rather than take the Jim Morrison approach and hang out with loose birds trying to get their 15 minute of fame because he knows that sort of behaviour might effect his game and let down his team mates which is not something this great man would be comfortable with as he is dedicated to playing week in week out exceptional football for the Richmond Football Club.

Andy Collins Unicef Humanitarian Of The Year 2008

 

[Tigeritis]

Like the sound of this Collins guy. Apparently after training the other day he was impressing the lads by pulling 12 inch nails out of planks of wood with his teeth. Just because he can. He topped it off by hanging 4 wet bath towels off his member. Judd's got nothing on Andy 'Sledgehammer' Collins.

 

[Haggard H]

Like the sound of this Collins guy. Apparently after training the other day he was impressing the lads by pulling 12 inch nails out of planks of wood with his teeth. Just because he can. He topped it off by hanging 4 wet bath towels off his member. Judd's got nothing on Andy 'Sledgehammer' Collins.

I think you'll find they were beach towels.

 

[Grange Hermitage]

I think you'll find they were beach towels.

I was once able to hang 2 dry hankerchiefs over my own.

Collins is so impressive, I already am happy to annoint him as our next Dennis Collins.

 

[Tiger Tough]

jeez, no pressure on the boy

if he ever plays a game in seniors, i reckon with the write ups you lot have been giving him - well, there are gonna be a lot of very disappointed richmond fans. Especially when they find out he will probably be just another reliable player.

Collins, the next messiah of the RFC, that continues to make the others in the league giggle their asses off at our stupid asses. Putting the weight of the world on a kid who was pick 71 (i think), and never played a senior game...

 

[roostertalk]

jeez, no pressure on the boy

if he ever plays a game in seniors, i reckon with the write ups you lot have been giving him - well, there are gonna be a lot of very disappointed richmond fans. Especially when they find out he will probably be just another reliable player.

Collins, the next messiah of the RFC, that continues to make the others in the league giggle their asses off at our stupid asses. Putting the weight of the world on a kid who was pick 71 (i think), and never played a senior game...

Hey Tiger Tough I know a great doc that does humour injections.

 

[sante]

jeez, no pressure on the boy

if he ever plays a game in seniors, i reckon with the write ups you lot have been giving him - well, there are gonna be a lot of very disappointed richmond fans. Especially when they find out he will probably be just another reliable player.

Collins, the next messiah of the RFC, that continues to make the others in the league giggle their asses off at our stupid asses. Putting the weight of the world on a kid who was pick 71 (i think), and never played a senior game...

Ever heard of sarcasm and humour?

 

[thegrach]

Ever heard of sarcasm and humour?

Poor noob, just doesn't get it.

PS Rumour that Andy Collins could be the first man to walk on Mars (only in the off season though, far to valuable to the RFC at the moment!).

 

[Ando_4]

Ever heard of sarcasm

I'd hope Tiger Tough was being sarcastic.



I like the sound of this lad from what I'm hearing.

Can he pinch hit in the ruck?

Perhaps give Wallace some coaching tips on game day?

Surely injecting Andy into our team we're capable of beating the Cats by 158.

If he plays every game this year it'll lift us to a premiership.

Andy is Candy - Judd is mudd

 

[thegrach]

.

Andy is Candy - Judd is mudd

That is just some pure magic there!

 

[tigertiger]

•There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Andrew Collins allows to live.

•Andrew Collins does not sleep. He waits.

•The chief export of Andrew Collins is Pain.

•There is no chin under Andrew Collins' Beard. There is only another fist.

•Andrew Collins drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

•Andrew Collins uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.
•Crop circles are Andrew Collins' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
•Andrew Collins is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
•The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Andrew Collins out. It failed miserably.
•Contrary to popular belief, Andrew Collins, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
•Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Andrew Collins has 72... and they're all poisonous.
•If you ask Andrew Collins what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
•Andrew Collins drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
•When Andrew Collins sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Andrew Collins has not had to pay taxes, ever.
•The quickest way to a man's heart is with Andrew Collins' fist.
•Andrew Collins invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
•CNN was originally created as the "Andrew Collins Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
•Andrew Collins can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
•There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Andrew Collins allows to live.
•Andrew Collins once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
•What was going through the minds of all of Andrew Collins' victims before they died? His shoe.
•Andrew Collins is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
•Police label anyone attacking Andrew Collins as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
•Andrew Collins doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
•Andrew Collins doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
•A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Andrew Collins and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
•Andrew Collins will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
•Someone once videotaped Andrew Collins getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
•If you spell Andrew Collins in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
•Andrew Collins originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
•Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Andrew Collins once and he will roundhouse you in the face.
•The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Andrew Collins played in second grade.
•Andrew Collins once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

 

[Norfolk & Clew]

jeez, no pressure on the boy

if he ever plays a game in seniors, i reckon with the write ups you lot have been giving him - well, there are gonna be a lot of very disappointed richmond fans. Especially when they find out he will probably be just another reliable player.

Collins, the next messiah of the RFC, that continues to make the others in the league giggle their asses off at our stupid asses. Putting the weight of the world on a kid who was pick 71 (i think), and never played a senior game...

Are you for real?

 

[thegrach]

•There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Andrew Collins allows to live.

•Andrew Collins does not sleep. He waits.

•The chief export of Andrew Collins is Pain.

•There is no chin under Andrew Collins' Beard. There is only another fist.

•Andrew Collins drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

•Andrew Collins uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.
•Crop circles are Andrew Collins' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
•Andrew Collins is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
•The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Andrew Collins out. It failed miserably.
•Contrary to popular belief, Andrew Collins, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
•Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Andrew Collins has 72... and they're all poisonous.
•If you ask Andrew Collins what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
•Andrew Collins drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
•When Andrew Collins sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Andrew Collins has not had to pay taxes, ever.
•The quickest way to a man's heart is with Andrew Collins' fist.
•Andrew Collins invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
•CNN was originally created as the "Andrew Collins Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
•Andrew Collins can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
•There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Andrew Collins allows to live.
•Andrew Collins once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
•What was going through the minds of all of Andrew Collins' victims before they died? His shoe.
•Andrew Collins is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
•Police label anyone attacking Andrew Collins as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
•Andrew Collins doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
•Andrew Collins doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
•A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Andrew Collins and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
•Andrew Collins will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
•Someone once videotaped Andrew Collins getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
•If you spell Andrew Collins in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
•Andrew Collins originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
•Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Andrew Collins once and he will roundhouse you in the face.
•The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Andrew Collins played in second grade.
•Andrew Collins once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Norris is his nickname, I assume?

 

[Norfolk & Clew]

•CNN was originally created as the "Andrew Collins Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

haha your bad

 

[tigertiger]

Find and Replace has its limitations

•Andrew Collins once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Andrew Collins re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
•Andrew Collins has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
•Someone once tried to tell Andrew Collins that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
•Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
•Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Andrew Collins once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
•Andrew Collins is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Andrew Collins.
•Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Andrew Collins's warm-up exercises.
•Andrew Collins is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
•In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Andrew Collins turned that wine into beer.
•Andrew Collins can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
•Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Andrew Collins.
•Andrew Collins discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Andrew Collins is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Andrew Collins roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
•Andrew Collins doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
•The Andrew Collins military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Andrew Collins could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
•In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Andrew Collins could use to kill you, including the room itself.
•According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Andrew Collins walks.
•Andrew Collins does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
•Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
•When Andrew Collins goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
•There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Andrew Collins has breathed on.
•Andrew Collins once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Andrew Collins won by 5.
•Andrew Collins was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
•Andrew Collins sheds his skin twice a year.
•When Andrew Collins calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
•Andrew Collins once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
•Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Andrew Collins likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
•There are no races, only countries of people Andrew Collins has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
•When Andrew Collins was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
•Andrew Collins can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
•A Andrew Collins-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
•When Andrew Collins falls in water, Andrew Collins doesn't get wet. Water gets Andrew Collins.
•Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Andrew Collins Roundhouse Kick)
•Andrew Collins’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
•Andrew Collins doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
•In honor of Andrew Collins, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
•Andrew Collins CAN believe it's not butter.
•If tapped, a Andrew Collins roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
•Andrew Collins can divide by zero.
•The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Andrew Collins has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
•A picture is worth a thousand words. A Andrew Collins is worth 1 billion words.
•Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Andrew Collins roundhouse kick.
•Andrew Collins invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
•When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Andrew Collins just to be on the safe side.
•While urinating, Andrew Collins is easily capable of welding titanium.
•Andrew Collins once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
•When Andrew Collins talks, everybody listens. And dies.
•When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Andrew Collins kills a ninja, he uses every part.
•Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Andrew Collins to go around.
•Andrew Collins doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Andrew Collins is Andrew Collins.
•For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Andrew Collins, each testicle is larger than the other one.
•Andrew Collins always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
•When taking the SAT, write "Andrew Collins" for every answer. You will score over 8000.
•Andrew Collins invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom
•Cruise invented pink.
•When you're Andrew Collins, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
•Andrew Collins has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
•On his birthday, Andrew Collins randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
•Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Andrew Collins.
•Andrew Collins doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Andrew Collins throws down!
•In the beginning there was nothing...then Andrew Collins Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
•Andrew Collins has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
•Andrew Collins grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
•Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Andrew Collins"

 

[emperor]

lmao @ our own version of Van Berlo

if Crow fans get wind of this, should be good

 

[wart101]

Who is this andy collins???? i know we have a player on list list named andy collins is this the same guys everyone is talking about?????? he's only 19 isn't he????

 

[Harvey Leadpipe]

My mate and his wife just had their first born. A girl. Had no hesitation in naming her Andy Collins Smith.

When I went for a look in the maternity ward, and mentioned to my better half what her name was, all the other parents and babies looked around.

Looks like AC fever is quickly catching on.

 

[wart101]

My mate and his wife just had their first born. A girl. Had no hesitation in naming her Andy Collins Smith.

When I went for a look in the maternity ward, and mentioned to my better half what her name was, all the other parents and babies looked around.

Looks like AC fever is quickly catching on.

wtf??? are you talking about!!! i just had a baby too, i named him damian, everyone thought of the evil damian in the bible and made comments about it!!!!!

 

[RichosGuns]

wtf??? are you talking about!!! i just had a baby too, i named him damian, everyone thought of the evil damian in the bible and made comments about it!!!!!

The only evil in that is that you didn't name your baby after the great man himself Andy Collins. Pure Blasphemy!

 

[sante]

My mate and his wife just had their first born. A girl. Had no hesitation in naming her Andy Collins Smith.

When I went for a look in the maternity ward, and mentioned to my better half what her name was, all the other parents and babies looked around.

Looks like AC fever is quickly catching on.

Lucky girl