mellowyellow
𝑅𝐹𝒞
I've taken a vow of poverty. To annoy me, send money.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
I wonder how much deeper would the ocean be without sponges.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.
I intend to live forever -- so far, so good
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane, going the wrong way.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
The hardness of the butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
A fool and his money are soon partying.
Always try to be modest. And be proud of it!
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands....
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Everybody repeat after me....."We are all individuals."
Death to all fanatics!
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.
A thing not worth doing isn't worth doing well.
Time is just nature's way to keep everything from happening at once.
Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?
All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.
Strip Mining Prevents Forest Fires
I don't have a solution; but I do admire the problem.
I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.
A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS But it uses up a=20 thousand times the memory
The Meek shall inherit the earth.. ...after we're through with it.
If a thing is worth doing It would have been done already
HAM AND EGGS, A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig.
Good Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
THE BUCK DOESN'T EVEN SLOW DOWN HERE So keep on going.
How much can I get away with and still go to heaven?
Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.
JESUS LOVES YOU It's everybody else that thinks you're an ass.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
Don't get married. Find a woman you hate and buy her a house. It's a lot easier on you.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
The trouble with life is there's no background music or a laugh track.
I was only looking at your nametag, honest!
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
Money isn't everything, But it sure keeps the kids in touch.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Losing a spouse can be hard. In my case it was almost impossible.
MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT
Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
I wonder how much deeper would the ocean be without sponges.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.
I intend to live forever -- so far, so good
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane, going the wrong way.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
The hardness of the butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
A fool and his money are soon partying.
Always try to be modest. And be proud of it!
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands....
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Everybody repeat after me....."We are all individuals."
Death to all fanatics!
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.
A thing not worth doing isn't worth doing well.
Time is just nature's way to keep everything from happening at once.
Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?
All true wisdom is found on T-shirts.
Strip Mining Prevents Forest Fires
I don't have a solution; but I do admire the problem.
I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.
A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS But it uses up a=20 thousand times the memory
The Meek shall inherit the earth.. ...after we're through with it.
If a thing is worth doing It would have been done already
HAM AND EGGS, A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig.
Good Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
THE BUCK DOESN'T EVEN SLOW DOWN HERE So keep on going.
How much can I get away with and still go to heaven?
Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.
JESUS LOVES YOU It's everybody else that thinks you're an ass.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
Don't get married. Find a woman you hate and buy her a house. It's a lot easier on you.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
The trouble with life is there's no background music or a laugh track.
I was only looking at your nametag, honest!
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
Money isn't everything, But it sure keeps the kids in touch.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Losing a spouse can be hard. In my case it was almost impossible.
MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT
Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?
