DanceSalsa
Rookie
- Sep 11, 2014
- 28
- 12
- AFL Club
- Adelaide
Funny sayings!
- Thread starter Double the Fist
- Start date
- Tagged users None
- Thread starter
- #127
Ripped this beauty from Jonenb on the WC forum. Absolute pisser. I've never heard it before, it was in regard to a new draftee....
"Had to go Cavka. Biggest issue holding back the youngsters is building a tank (a la Sheed in 2014). Cavka already has an AFL tank - he just keeps on running like a sailors dick. Not just elite endurance but decent speed."
"Had to go Cavka. Biggest issue holding back the youngsters is building a tank (a la Sheed in 2014). Cavka already has an AFL tank - he just keeps on running like a sailors dick. Not just elite endurance but decent speed."
- Banned
- #128
I'm an ex sailor, its also where the term 'Pussers' comes from.
And no I didn't...before you ask
- Banned
- #129
AEROPLANE BLONDE
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
AUSSIE KISS
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
BEER COAT
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3 in the morning.
BEER COMPASS
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a boozecruise, even though you're too pi$$ed to remember where you live, how you got there, and where you've come from.
BOBFOC
Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.
BREAKING THE SEAL
Your first pi$$ in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.
BRITNEY SPEARS
Modern Slang for 'beers', e. g. "Couple of Britneys please, Doreen".
DRINK-LINK
A modern term for a cashpoint machine (ATM). Named so because it is common to visit one before going out on the booze.
GREYHOUND
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
JOHNNY-NO-STARS
A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.
MILLENNIUM DOMES
The contents of a Wonderbra, i. e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually nothing in there worth seeing.
MONKEY BATH
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".
MYSTERY BUS
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
MYSTERY TAXI
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.....ahh the memories
NELSON MANDELA
Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager).
PICASSO AR$E
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got four buttocks.
SALAD DODGER
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
STARFISH TROOPER OR AR$ETRONAUT
A homosexual.
SWAMP-DONKEY
A deeply unattractive woman.
TART FUEL
Bottled Alcopops, e.g. Hooch, regularly consumed by young women.
TITANIC
A lady who goes down first time out.
TODGER DODGER
A lesbian.
UP ON BLOCKS
Menstruating, out of action, a bit like a car in a garage. "I don't think I'll be in luck tonight lads, the missus is up on blocks".
WALLACE AND GROMIT
Rhyming Slang for 'vomit'.
WYNONA RYDER
Rhyming Slang for 'cider'. e. g. "Pint of Wynona, half a Nelson and a bottle of tart fuel please Doreen"
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
AUSSIE KISS
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
BEER COAT
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3 in the morning.
BEER COMPASS
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a boozecruise, even though you're too pi$$ed to remember where you live, how you got there, and where you've come from.
BOBFOC
Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.
BREAKING THE SEAL
Your first pi$$ in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.
BRITNEY SPEARS
Modern Slang for 'beers', e. g. "Couple of Britneys please, Doreen".
DRINK-LINK
A modern term for a cashpoint machine (ATM). Named so because it is common to visit one before going out on the booze.
GREYHOUND
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
JOHNNY-NO-STARS
A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.
MILLENNIUM DOMES
The contents of a Wonderbra, i. e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually nothing in there worth seeing.
MONKEY BATH
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".
MYSTERY BUS
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
MYSTERY TAXI
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.
....ahh the memoriesNELSON MANDELA
Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager).
PICASSO AR$E
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got four buttocks.
SALAD DODGER
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
STARFISH TROOPER OR AR$ETRONAUT
A homosexual.
SWAMP-DONKEY
A deeply unattractive woman.
TART FUEL
Bottled Alcopops, e.g. Hooch, regularly consumed by young women.
TITANIC
A lady who goes down first time out.
TODGER DODGER
A lesbian.
UP ON BLOCKS
Menstruating, out of action, a bit like a car in a garage. "I don't think I'll be in luck tonight lads, the missus is up on blocks".
WALLACE AND GROMIT
Rhyming Slang for 'vomit'.
WYNONA RYDER
Rhyming Slang for 'cider'. e. g. "Pint of Wynona, half a Nelson and a bottle of tart fuel please Doreen"
- Thread starter
- #130
I'm an ex sailor, its also where the term 'Pussers' comes from.
And no I didn't...before you ask
RedmanWasHere
Rarely in kitchens at parties.
- Aug 23, 2010
- 26,879
- 29,615
- AFL Club
- Essendon
- Other Teams
- Exers, Gryffindor, Rich+Ess AFLW, Tassie
As sturdy as a 70 year old with arthritis going on a 5k run.
ossie_21
Premium Platinum
RedmanWasHere
Rarely in kitchens at parties.
- Aug 23, 2010
- 26,879
- 29,615
- AFL Club
- Essendon
- Other Teams
- Exers, Gryffindor, Rich+Ess AFLW, Tassie
If someone accuses you of recently sharing an opinion with the majority, "do you think I'm made of wool or something?"
- Thread starter
- #134
Subtle.!
- Banned
- #135
In my opinion, a horse is the animal to have.
Eleven-hundred pounds of raw muscle, power, grace, and sweat between your legs - it's something you just can't get from a pet hamster.
Eleven-hundred pounds of raw muscle, power, grace, and sweat between your legs - it's something you just can't get from a pet hamster.
- Banned
- #136
Less We Forget
Our Phones – Wireless
Cooking – Fireless
Cars – Keyless
Food – Fatless
Tires –Tubeless
Dress – Sleeveless
Youth – Jobless
Leaders – Shameless
Relationships – Meaningless
Attitudes – Careless
Babies – Fatherless
Feelings – Heartless
Education – Valueless
Children – Mannerless
Country – Godless
We are SPEECHLESS,
Government is CLUELESS,
And our Politicians are WORTHLESS !
I'm scared – Shitless
Our Phones – Wireless
Cooking – Fireless
Cars – Keyless
Food – Fatless
Tires –Tubeless
Dress – Sleeveless
Youth – Jobless
Leaders – Shameless
Relationships – Meaningless
Attitudes – Careless
Babies – Fatherless
Feelings – Heartless
Education – Valueless
Children – Mannerless
Country – Godless
We are SPEECHLESS,
Government is CLUELESS,
And our Politicians are WORTHLESS !
I'm scared – Shitless
- Thread starter
- #137
At least we know the crack in your arse wasn't the result of sitting on the fence.
A little Gem from Freofalcon from the bay.
I'll use this one!
A little Gem from Freofalcon from the bay.
I'll use this one!
- Thread starter
- #138
WC posters providing more gems. Got this off the board this morning.
Thanks to Here2tellyouwhy
My favourite was Kennedy's 50. He went over the mark no doubt but the ump called it quicker then he could tie his shoelaces in the middle of the Mardis Gras.
Bloody pisser.
Thanks to Here2tellyouwhy
My favourite was Kennedy's 50. He went over the mark no doubt but the ump called it quicker then he could tie his shoelaces in the middle of the Mardis Gras.
Bloody pisser.
- Aug 19, 2013
- 1,980
- 2,486
- AFL Club
- Port Adelaide
Horny- toeier than a roman sandle
wife that always puts the breaks on the fun - leader of the opposition
wife that always puts the breaks on the fun - leader of the opposition
- Banned
- #140
Couldn't organise a woodpecker's picnic in Sherwood Forest.
Tradies saying of a blunt blade.
"That wouldn't cut through hot cockies s**t"
Got a local plumber with "s**t happens"
Written on his truck.
"Looked like a bucket of smashed crabs"
For an ugly ladies bits.
"That wouldn't cut through hot cockies s**t"
Got a local plumber with "s**t happens"
Written on his truck.
"Looked like a bucket of smashed crabs"
For an ugly ladies bits.
raskolnikov
Cancelled
10k Posts
30k Posts
Wordler
Werewolf Player
Essendon Player Sponsor 2021 - Anthony McDonald-Tipungwuti and Archie Perkins
Essendon Player Sponsor 2020 - Orazio Fantasia, Anthony McDonald Tipungwuti, Shaun McKernan
Essendon Player Sponsor 2019 - Orazio Fantasia, Anthony McDonald Tipungwuti, Shaun McKernan
Song Contest Winner - 5+ Rounds
It's hard to be good but it's good to be hard.
Once a king always a king but once a (k) night is never enough.
What do a two inch penis and a ten foot crocodile have in common? You can't * with either.
Once a king always a king but once a (k) night is never enough.
What do a two inch penis and a ten foot crocodile have in common? You can't * with either.
- Apr 16, 2016
- 855
- 1,703
- AFL Club
- Western Bulldogs
- Banned
- #146
Winston Churchill loved paraprosdokians, figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected.
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
6. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
7. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR."
8. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
9. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
10. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
11. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
12. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
13. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
14. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
15. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
16. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
6. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
7. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR."
8. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
9. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
10. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
11. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
12. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.
13. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
14. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
15. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
16. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Last edited:
- Banned
- #147
Tough as woodpecker teeth.
- Thread starter
- #148
Courtesy of Dark Sharks regarding a young player in first JLT match for WCE
"cool as the other side of the pillow"
"cool as the other side of the pillow"
- Sep 28, 2016
- 6,706
- 8,190
- AFL Club
- Essendon
- Other Teams
- Man U .White Sox;Storm,Victory
Today is just another day closer to dying,or,as my old man often said, don't worry if you can't make my funeral coz I wont know if you're there or not.
- Moderator
- #150
That's courtesy of Dennis Cometti off the old AFL Live video game
