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George Smilovic???

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I'M TOUGH

I never wanted to fight but I had to get tough. So now I am tough.

Audience: How tough?

Don't hassle me man, I have a black belt in Macrame. I'm tough!!!

When I get into a cab and the cab driver asks where I'm going I say, "None of your bloody business!!!
I wasn't breast fed as a baby, I went straight onto cappuccinos.
When I was a baby I pushed my own pram ... because I'm tough.
My rice bubbles are too scared to go Snap, Crackle & Pop, they hide in the pack and go, "Shhhhhhhh, here he comes!!!!"
I never have to brush my teeth, I just let the toothbrush tremble in my mouth.
I'm so tough I eat quiche in front of truckies.
When I eat Smarties, I eat the red ones first.
I'm so tough I use aftershave .... before.
I'm so tough I glue worms to the pavement so I can watch the sparrows getting hernias.
I'm so tough my answering machine doesn't answer to anyone except me!!
I'm so tough I drink cordial ... straight from the bottle.
I'm so tough that when I get a flat tyre I don't use a jack, I take off all of my clothes, lay underneath the car and read Playboy.
I'm so tough that when I go to the beach I kick sand in my own face.
I'm so tough my pooh pooh scares flies away.
I'm so tough I'm into Punk Yoga ... that's when you stand on somebody else's head.
I'm so tough Vitamins take me.
I'm so tough I voted Liberal and told people about it afterwards.

How many Social Workers does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb must want to change.
How many George Smilovics does it take to change a light bulb? NONE ... because tough guys aren't afraid of the dark!!!!!!!

How do you make a dog meow? You put it in the freezer for three days, take it out and run it through a bandsaw .... MMMMEEEEOOOOWWWW!!!!!
How do you make a kleenex tissue dance? You blow a little boogy into it.
So what does a pervert say to a 12 year old girl? Oooohhh, I wish you were five!!!
So why do negroes keep chickens in the back yard? So they can teach their children how to walk.
So why do they have XXXX beer in Queensland? Because they can't spell "BEER".

That was his routine on Rude Rude's Comedy Club in the mid 80s.
 

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Adelaide Hawk said:
That was his routine on Rude Rude's Comedy Club in the mid 80s.
Click to expand...



It was the Comedy Video Show. Sorry for being pedantic. Have you got the videos?


Adelaide Hawk said:
How do you make a dog meow? You put it in the freezer for three days, take it out and run it through a bandsaw .... MMMMEEEEOOOOWWWW!!!!!.
Click to expand...

He used to have an alternate one to that.

How do you make a cat woof? You pour petrol all over it then throw a match at it...WOOOOOOF
 
localyokel said:
It was the Comedy Video Show. Sorry for being pedantic. Have you got the videos?
Click to expand...

To be even more pedantic, it was the Video Comedy Store. ;) And I still have the 3 series on tape somewhere around here.
 
Coinkidink. Just the other day when someone at work mentioned Joe Cocker's cover of "A Little Help From My Friends" I was reminded of George lampooning ...

"What would you do if I sang out of tune..." ... what do you mean, "if"?

And then tonight I quoted him again before seeing this thread, but already forgot what I quoted :(
 
localyokel said:
It was the Comedy Video Show. Sorry for being pedantic. Have you got the videos?
[/I]
Click to expand...

I filled up a 4 hour tape with bits of the show, but that's it. I still laugh at the guy who was the boxer named "Killer". He said he was sponsored by Bex Headache Powder, and they put the advertising on the soles of his boots so everyone could see them. :)
 
The Hippie said:
To be even more pedantic, it was the Video Comedy Store. ;) And I still have the 3 series on tape somewhere around here.
Click to expand...


D'oh! :D Great show, I loved the Joh Bjeke-Petersen impersonator introducing series 2. "Thats for Queenslanders to decide and I've already decided"


I went to a few of the tapings of series 2 at Le Joke.
 

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