Hawthorn's Demise :(

[Samthegun]

From Peter Hanlon:

HAWTHORN

Predictions of their decline are confirmed when the Hawks only win the grand final by four goals, Luke Hodge only wins the Norm Smith Medal on a countback (from poor old Sam Mitchell), and Alastair Clarkson is again pipped as All-Australian coach by someone whose team gets knocked out in the first week of the finals.

Read more: http://www.theage.com.au/afl/adelai...y-go-wrong-20160226-gn4b8o.html#ixzz41XI92yo5

Terrible news... ...especially sad for Clarko missing out again...

 

[seysearles]

 

[jiphoc]

RICHMOND

Prospects of finishing ninth are seriously damaged when Dustin Martin misses most of the season after developing an MSG allergy. On the bright side he comfortably leads the competition in Flies Caught With Chopsticks.


This guy is surely some kind of psychic

 

[Flukey!]

It's a satirical piece.
Just in case you missed it.

 

[IdiotBox]

It's a satirical piece.
Just in case you missed it.

Well b*gger me!! I've just wasted the morning scouring afl.com.au, afltables, champion data etc looking for these elusive 'Flies caught With Chopsticks' stats.... damn you satirists!!!

 

[Davo23]

RICHMOND

Prospects of finishing ninth are seriously damaged when Dustin Martin misses most of the season after developing an MSG allergy. On the bright side he comfortably leads the competition in Flies Caught With Chopsticks.


This guy is surely some kind of psychic

I really want to see Dustin Martin sponsored by a Chinese restaurant, and flashing his chopsticks at the camera.

 

[Argy]

From Titus O'Reily... (Team Slogans)

Carlton

Slogan: Bound by Blue

Review: This one is perfect. It captures the trapped feeling a Carlton supporter must have all the time. Like organised religion, supporting Carlton is only something a person would do if they are constrained by family and community ties.

Alternate slogan: Trapped by Blue

...

Hawthorn

Slogan: Hawthorn. Always

Review: Just a depressing statement of reality really. I would have added a few swear words but this still works I guess.

Alternate slogan: Rinse, repeat

...

Richmond

Slogan: Strong & Bold

Review: Needs a disclaimer saying ‘offer does not apply in September’.

Alternate slogan: Secure your final tickets

...

Sydney

Slogan: Welcome to the Spectacular

Review: It’s flashy with little substance so it’s perfect for the Harbour City.

Alternate slogan: You don’t have to go to ANZ Stadium anymore

http://titusoreily.com/reviewing-every-afl-clubs-membership-campaign-slogan-2/

 

[HairyO]

From Peter Hanlon:

HAWTHORN

Predictions of their decline are confirmed when the Hawks only win the grand final by four goals, Luke Hodge only wins the Norm Smith Medal on a countback (from poor old Sam Mitchell), and Alastair Clarkson is again pipped as All-Australian coach by someone whose team gets knocked out in the first week of the finals.

Read more: http://www.theage.com.au/afl/adelai...y-go-wrong-20160226-gn4b8o.html#ixzz41XI92yo5

Terrible news... ...especially sad for Clarko missing out again...

The greatest shame in the AFL is the refusal of the other coaches to accept Clarko as the best coach in the comp. Im sure it keeps him awake at night.

 

[Sixpence]

From Titus O'Reily... (Team Slogans)

Carlton

Slogan: Bound by Blue

Review: This one is perfect. It captures the trapped feeling a Carlton supporter must have all the time. Like organised religion, supporting Carlton is only something a person would do if they are constrained by family and community ties.

Alternate slogan: Trapped by Blue

...

Hawthorn

Slogan: Hawthorn. Always

Review: Just a depressing statement of reality really. I would have added a few swear words but this still works I guess.

Alternate slogan: Rinse, repeat

...

Richmond

Slogan: Strong & Bold

Review: Needs a disclaimer saying ‘offer does not apply in September’.

Alternate slogan: Secure your final tickets

...

Sydney

Slogan: Welcome to the Spectacular

Review: It’s flashy with little substance so it’s perfect for the Harbour City.

Alternate slogan: You don’t have to go to ANZ Stadium anymore

http://titusoreily.com/reviewing-every-afl-clubs-membership-campaign-slogan-2/

Haha, he's clearly not a Geelong fan:

Geelong

Slogan: Greatness. Our Tradition. Our Ambition

Review: Is something only going back to 2007 a tradition? I was hoping it was more a passing fad. The ambition bit is true though, given they’ve got Patrick Dangerfield now and he’ll solve all their problems.

Alternate slogan: Highway to the Dangerfield



The Bulldogs one is pretty good too:

Western Bulldogs

Slogan: Be more Bulldog

Review: I’m not sure if being more of something that hasn’t won a premiership since 1954 is what you want. I suppose ‘Be more like Hawthorn’ would be odd though.

Alternate slogan: Still Liam Jones free

 

[Brant]

From Titus O'Reily... (Team Slogans)


Hawthorn

Slogan: Hawthorn. Always

Review: Just a depressing statement of reality really. I would have added a few swear words but this still works I guess.

Alternate slogan: Rinse, repeat


http://titusoreily.com/reviewing-every-afl-clubs-membership-campaign-slogan-2/

Comedy gold...

 

[Samthegun]

It's a satirical piece.
Just in case you missed it.

Thanks. My sad-faces were also ironic...just in case people weren't aware.

On a side note, I find Peter Hanlon to be a very funny guy.