joke 1: A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding
car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that
the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing
lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his
window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULLOVER!"
"NO," the blonde yelled back, "SCARF!"
..........................................................................................
Joke 2 - A policeman was interrogating three blondes who were
training to become detectives. To test their skills in
recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a
picture for five seconds and then hides it.
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The first blonde answers: "That's easy, we'll catch
him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...he has one eye
because the picture shows his PROFILE, a SIDE VIEW.
That's just ONE SIDE of him!"
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he
flashes the picture for five seconds at the second
blonde and asks her:
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says:
"Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only
has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds: "What's the matter
with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are
SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile! Is
that the best answer you can come up with?!"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the
picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice
asks: "This is your suspect, how would you recognize
him?"
The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment
and says: "Hmmmm... the suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because
he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears
contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer! Wait here for
a few minutes while I check his file, and I'll get
back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the
suspect's file in his computer and comes back with a
beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it... it's TRUE! The suspect
does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were
you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy," the blonde replied.
"He can't wear regular glasses, because
he only has one eye and one ear!"
...................................................................................
Joke 3 - The police department, famous for its superior K-9 unit, was
somewhat taken aback by a recent incident. Returning home from
work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and
burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the
crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a
K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first on the scene.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash,
the blonde ran out on the porch, clapped a hand to her head and
moaned, "I come home from work to find all my possessions stolen,
I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send a
BLIND policeman!"
...................................................................................................
Joke 4 - A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience.
She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.
In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune...
...the Wal-Mart manager runs out and unplugs the horse.
Get voting
car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that
the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing
lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his
window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULLOVER!"
"NO," the blonde yelled back, "SCARF!"
..........................................................................................
Joke 2 - A policeman was interrogating three blondes who were
training to become detectives. To test their skills in
recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a
picture for five seconds and then hides it.
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The first blonde answers: "That's easy, we'll catch
him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...he has one eye
because the picture shows his PROFILE, a SIDE VIEW.
That's just ONE SIDE of him!"
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he
flashes the picture for five seconds at the second
blonde and asks her:
"This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says:
"Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only
has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds: "What's the matter
with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear are
SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile! Is
that the best answer you can come up with?!"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the
picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice
asks: "This is your suspect, how would you recognize
him?"
The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment
and says: "Hmmmm... the suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because
he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears
contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer! Wait here for
a few minutes while I check his file, and I'll get
back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the
suspect's file in his computer and comes back with a
beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it... it's TRUE! The suspect
does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were
you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy," the blonde replied.
"He can't wear regular glasses, because
he only has one eye and one ear!"
...................................................................................
Joke 3 - The police department, famous for its superior K-9 unit, was
somewhat taken aback by a recent incident. Returning home from
work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and
burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the
crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a
K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first on the scene.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash,
the blonde ran out on the porch, clapped a hand to her head and
moaned, "I come home from work to find all my possessions stolen,
I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send a
BLIND policeman!"
...................................................................................................
Joke 4 - A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience.
She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.
In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune...
...the Wal-Mart manager runs out and unplugs the horse.
Get voting
, but had I been able to get on I'd have voted for joke 2.
