- Apr 1, 2011
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So a vowel saves another vowel's life.
The other vowel says, "Aye E! I owe you!"
The other vowel says, "Aye E! I owe you!"
Lame Jokes Part 2
- Thread starter Hard Ball Get
- Start date
- Tagged users None
- Apr 1, 2011
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I invented a new word today: Plagiarism!
- Jul 31, 2012
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- Hawthorn
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- Everton, Chiefs Kingdom
Why was 6 scared?
- Apr 1, 2011
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If I had a dollar for every woman that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
- Apr 1, 2011
- 5,360
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My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
- Apr 1, 2011
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Is old rope good enough for a hanging?
Frayed knot. That stuff is bad noose.
Frayed knot. That stuff is bad noose.
- Apr 1, 2011
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- Collingwood
I used to date a girl who had a lazy eye.
Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
Girlfriend and I went out with another couple and decided to spice things up by swapping partners.
So - after a while I said 'I'm not really enjoying this as much as I thought. Should we check how the girls are getting on'?
So - after a while I said 'I'm not really enjoying this as much as I thought. Should we check how the girls are getting on'?
GreyCrow
TheBrownDog
- Mar 21, 2016
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- Sturt, White Sox
- Apr 1, 2011
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Due to COVID-19, all dad jokes will now be inside jokes.
- Apr 1, 2011
- 5,360
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The sound from a musician on stage bounces off the auditorium walls to surround the audience.
The sound from a pigeon on stage does not do this. The reason is a coo sticks !
The sound from a pigeon on stage does not do this. The reason is a coo sticks !
philreich
TheBrownDog
- Mar 2, 2014
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My wife said the same thing to me, and I then accused her of a similar shortcoming. To prove my point, I told her to sit down and shut up, and guess what - she couldn't do it.
philreich
TheBrownDog
- Mar 2, 2014
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They're telling me I should be able to walk again by late February.
What have you done wrong if your wife walks out the front door?
Made the chain to the kitchen sink too long.
Made the chain to the kitchen sink too long.
- Dec 17, 2006
- 4,400
- 4,669
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- South Fremantle, Sturt
A judge is hearing divorce applications, and the first applicant for the morning is an elderly farmer dressed in his Sunday best suit.
"Can you state your case to the court, please?" the judge asks.
The farmer looks confused. "My case?"
"Yes, I need to hear about your case so I can make a ruling."
The farmer looks even more confused. "Well Sir, I don't got a Case, but I got a John Deere and it's one mighty fine tractor."
The judge is unimpressed, but stays calm. "Let me re-phrase the question. What are your grounds for making this divorce application?"
"My grounds?" The farmer looks even more worried. "My grounds don't got nothing to do with me wanting a divorce, I plow my grounds with the John Deere and plant crops."
The judge is getting even more annoyed. "No, that is not what I mean at all. I'll put it another way, do you have a grudge?"
"Yes sir, I do got a grudge."
"Excellent, tell me about your grudge."
The farmer explains. "Well my grudge is made of bricks, it has a roller door and its where I park the John Deere when I've finished plowing the grounds."
The judge is furious. "No, no, no!" He breaths deeply, and asks the farmer very slowly, "Why do want to get a divorce from your wife?"
"Well Your Honor, I can't seem to have a meaningful conversation with her."
"Can you state your case to the court, please?" the judge asks.
The farmer looks confused. "My case?"
"Yes, I need to hear about your case so I can make a ruling."
The farmer looks even more confused. "Well Sir, I don't got a Case, but I got a John Deere and it's one mighty fine tractor."
The judge is unimpressed, but stays calm. "Let me re-phrase the question. What are your grounds for making this divorce application?"
"My grounds?" The farmer looks even more worried. "My grounds don't got nothing to do with me wanting a divorce, I plow my grounds with the John Deere and plant crops."
The judge is getting even more annoyed. "No, that is not what I mean at all. I'll put it another way, do you have a grudge?"
"Yes sir, I do got a grudge."
"Excellent, tell me about your grudge."
The farmer explains. "Well my grudge is made of bricks, it has a roller door and its where I park the John Deere when I've finished plowing the grounds."
The judge is furious. "No, no, no!" He breaths deeply, and asks the farmer very slowly, "Why do want to get a divorce from your wife?"
"Well Your Honor, I can't seem to have a meaningful conversation with her."
- Apr 1, 2011
- 5,360
- 10,399
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- Collingwood
Why do meteors always land in craters?
- Apr 1, 2011
- 5,360
- 10,399
- AFL Club
- Collingwood
Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?
The food is great, but there's just no atmosphere.
The food is great, but there's just no atmosphere.
- Apr 1, 2011
- 5,360
- 10,399
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- Collingwood
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
A rip off.
- Apr 1, 2011
- 5,360
- 10,399
- AFL Club
- Collingwood
I got an invite to a wedding that said “black tie only”.
But when I got there, everyone else was in suits.
But when I got there, everyone else was in suits.
- Banned
- #5,949
I relabelled all the jars in my wife's spice rack. I'm not in trouble yet ........... but the thyme is cumin.
philreich
TheBrownDog
- Mar 2, 2014
- 58,597
- 147,571
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- Port Adelaide
