Men & dogs

[mantis]

Both take up too much space on the bed

Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaners

Both are threatened by their own kind

Both mark their territory

Both are suspicious of the postman

Both are bad at asking you questions

Both pass gas shamelessly

Both like dominance games

Both tend to smell riper with age

Neither of them tells you what's bothering them

Neither of them does dishes

Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut

Neither knows how to talk on the telephone

Neither understands what you see in cats

The smaller ones tend to be more nervous

 

[sbagman]

Aaaah aaaah aaaaah my sides....

 

[mantis]

sbagman, you need to lighten up mate, you have been very uptight since you got back to Australia, why is that.

 

[sbagman]

Today is sbagman's "misogynist week".

 

[mantis]

Originally posted by sbagman
Today is sbagman's "misogynist week".

OK, walking backwards very slowly, then turns & runs.

 

[lioness]

Don't worry mantis, I giggled. A LOT.

How damn true are some of those.............

 

[Passmore]

Dogs lick their balls, men don't do that.......err, ok they would if they could.

You've got me. There are no differences.

 

[mantis]

Originally posted by Passmore
Dogs lick their balls, men don't do that.......err, ok they would if they could.

You've got me. There are no differences.

 

[skipper kelly]

Originally posted by Passmore
Dogs lick their balls, men don't do that.......err, ok they would if they could.

You've got me. There are no differences.

lick your finger them wipe it on your balls then lick your finger.

 

[anonymous Joe]

Originally posted by skipper kelly
lick your finger them wipe it on your balls then lick your finger.

That better have been a Joke thats some messed up shyte

 

[GoEagles]

Speaking of vaccume cleaners. How long does it take for everyones got to eat their dinner? I've seen some dogs who are like cats and are fairly picky (eat slowly) while some dogs (like mine) don't even taste their food, they just swallow it all in one gulp.

 

[otaku]

Q: Whats the definition of a wife??

A: An attachment you screw on the bed to do the housework.

 

[vindor]

Originally posted by otaku
Q: Whats the definition of a wife??

A: An attachment you screw on the bed to do the housework.

I like it otaku

Q: How does a man tell his wife, who has two black eyes, what to do?

A. He can't she has already been told twice.

 

[otaku]

Originally posted by vindor
I like it otaku

Q: How does a man tell his wife, who has two black eyes, what to do?

A. He can't she has already been told twice.

another oldie:

Q: why does a bride wear white??

A: So she matches the other kitchen appliances

 

[NICK THE PIE MAN]

A wife is a lot like a deck of cards.

You need a heart to love her, a diamond to marry her, a club to hit her over the head with and a spade to bury the b*tch with.

 

[the fly]

Q: Why do women have legs?

A: So they don't leave snail trails between the bedroom and the kitchen.

 

[sbagman]

Q: Why did the woman cross the road?

A: That's not the point, what I want to know is what the f$#@ was she doing out of the kitchen?!?!

 

[skipper kelly]

Originally posted by the fly
Q: Why do women have legs?

A: So they don't leave snail trails between the bedroom and the kitchen.

pardon my ignorance. What is a snail trail?

 

[vindor]

Originally posted by skipper kelly
pardon my ignorance. What is a snail trail?

Your ignorance cannot be pardoned.

Have you ever noticed the line of slime along the path traversed by a snail. This path is commonly known as a snail trail.

 

[skipper kelly]

Originally posted by vindor
Your ignorance cannot be pardoned.

Have you ever noticed the line of slime along the path traversed by a snail. This path is commonly known as a snail trail.

Thats disgusting.