Social Science One night stands

[ElectricG]

So I’ve always been a relationship guy. I’ve always had girlfriends and have now been married for years. I’ve always wondered how one night stands work (although maybe this isn’t the best place to ask - dunno if the average bigfooty user slays much pussy).

What is the etiquette around having a one night stand?

Is it normally pretty vanilla missionary stuff? I figure peoples kinks wouldn’t come out until a level of trust is established over weeks and months.

I would assume all parties shower before getting down and dirty? None of the night club stank.

Where does the guy even ejaculate? I would feel nervous wondering what the girl is comfortable is. Is this discussed in the taxi in the way back to your place, do you quickly ask as the moment is unfolding? Or is there some default place to do it that is considered polite or gentlemanly?

 

[ash_1050]

I can see this thread lasting all of 20 minutes, but for the hell of it I'll answer the question from my perspective.

I'm woeful at meeting people while out, and as a result the overwhelming majority of one night stands are via dating apps or hookup posts on various websites. You'd exchange a few messages, then either meet for a drink to do a vibe check and head back to yours, or just jump straight into it and they'd come visit while skipping over the drinks.

As a person who's into kink you generally try and avoid anything kink related on the first hookup or two. As you've said it takes time to establish that level of trust with someone, and kink is something that's dependent on rapport as you can't immerse yourself until you're comfortable and confident around a new partner. An ongoing friends with benefits is ideal, as it means you're able to explore things in a lot more depth once you've got that understanding between one another. For one night stands it's usually vanilla or something very low key in the kink space that doesn't require any trust or rapport.

Shower wise I make sure I've showered and smell nice before hand, though if you end up spending a couple hours having drinks before hand you're not going to be in pristine condition and neither is she. Doesn't really make too much of a difference, but if it was that rare instance of a club hookup absolutely I'd try put them through the shower first (as well as myself) before getting down to business, but it it doesn't happen there's a fair chance I'm not in any real condition to be overly concerned.

I couldn't think of anything more creepy than asking in the taxi on the way back to my place where she wants me to ejaculate, it's oddly presumptuous and gives off Patrick Bateman vibes. Assuming I'm able to overcome any clubbing substances or alcohol that would inhibit an ability to achieve and maintain an erection it would be a case of finishing in the condom if it's a one night stand. Alternately if a condom isn't in play as there's other things going on the polite thing to do is ask when you're getting close and give them the option.


This post feels incredibly odd, like trying to nail down the specifics of being a single male. With that said everyone's experiences are different, so there will be different hookup rituals out there from other people who do things differently to me.

 

[chunkylover53]

What is the etiquette around having a one night stand?

Depends on the type of one night stand. Have we been on a date? Two dates? Have we just met out and about? Have we confirmed that this is only going to happen once therefore is a 'one night stand', or are we both open to more encounters in the future?

Is it normally pretty vanilla missionary stuff? I figure peoples kinks wouldn’t come out until a level of trust is established over weeks and months.

Again, depends how comfortable you are with said person. If it were a date & conversation is flowing and the topic of sex has come up (as it often does), the conversation can find its way exchanging likes/dislikes of sex (especially after a few drinks). At the very least, a change-up of positions from missionary is the bare minimum. Revealing full blown kinks straight up is rare, the norm is somewhere in the middle.

I would assume all parties shower before getting down and dirty? None of the night club stank.

I prefer to shower. Some girls do, others don't. I've never encountered night club stank.

Where does the guy even ejaculate? I would feel nervous wondering what the girl is comfortable is. Is this discussed in the taxi in the way back to your place, do you quickly ask as the moment is unfolding? Or is there some default place to do it that is considered polite or gentlemanly?

For me, if wearing protection I do so in the condom. If no protection then I'll ask in the moment, or sometimes they tell me. Can't say I've asked this in a Taxi.

I hope this gives you some answers and you can enjoy your wank, mr relationship man.

 

[ElectricG]

Depends on the type of one night stand. Have we been on a date? Two dates? Have we just met out and about? Have we confirmed that this is only going to happen once therefore is a 'one night stand', or are we both open to more encounters in the future?



Again, depends how comfortable you are with said person. If it were a date & conversation is flowing and the topic of sex has come up (as it often does), the conversation can find its way exchanging likes/dislikes of sex (especially after a few drinks). At the very least, a change-up of positions from missionary is the bare minimum. Revealing full blown kinks straight up is rare, the norm is somewhere in the middle.



I prefer to shower. Some girls do, others don't. I've never encountered night club stank.



For me, if wearing protection I do so in the condom. If no protection then I'll ask in the moment, or sometimes they tell me. Can't say I've asked this in a Taxi.

I hope this gives you some answers and you can enjoy your wank, mr relationship man.

Thanks mate. Close my eyes and it’s like I’m there !

 

[Run n Spread]

It was so much easier before the apps. Look it depends.
You can do drinks, flirt etc yet nothing happens.
Yet get on the right dating app/circumstance and literally do it with half hour of meeting.
All depends if both parties are on the same page.
Not all people want it thou. It's time and circumstance. And luck.

But so are relationships. Easy to get cynical but I think certain people are more for want of a better term sex positive and others are more traditional/after something different/repressed. It is like anything in life. Stage of life and meet like minded people.

 

[Freomaniac]

I already had my rants on things related to this...

it has never happened to me.