Ottens woes "rectumfied"

[mrs_richo]

- Better forward than all Stafford, Simmonds and Knobel
- Better around the ground

To think you offered Simmonds a 5 year deal..........

RICHO > ottens - ANY DAY

 

[IDGAF]

06/01/06
afl.com.au
Sportal

Geelongs injury woes look set to continue into the new year with news that Brad Ottens ring finger has become re-infected after post season surgery late last year .

The cats football manager Gary Davidson revealed that the finger has suffered infection for the second time after coach Mark "bomber" Thompson issued an ultimatum for the ruckman to have it surgically removed from his @rse otherwise they would be left with no option but to trade him .

"We sat down with Brad post season just to have a chat and see where he was going with his footy , and all i did was kindly suggest to him that it would help his cause greatly if he would remove the offending digit from his pooper ...." Thompson said .

After some serious soul-searching from Ottens he decided that surgery , though drastic , was the best way to go and he was immediatly booked into the proctology ward at Vimy House .

Though the procedure was inniatially thought to be a success there have been some serious problems since the operation . Doctors grafted skin from of his buttocks onto the finger to try and remove the brown stain but this is where the problems have arisen from .

A surgeon from Vimy House said " We spoke to Greg Miller from the Richmond Football Club to find out just how long the finger had been stuck in his anus and he told us it was from about September 2001 , which explained the deep staining the finger suffered . Four years with a finger stuck up your backside is a long time in anyones books "

Rumours swept through sleepy hollow yesterday that the finger might actually have to be removed but this has neither been confirmed nor denied by the GFC as they closed ranks last night .... but a source close to AFL.com has told us that this ultimatum may have been issued by his team-mates . An unnamed player was quoted as saying " Would want to pick the ball after he has had that schit stained finger touching it "

When asked about the conundrum AFL players association president Brendan Gale said that " He has not heard anything official from the relevent medical authorities but it would obviously be a hygeine concern for all his members "

One of my favourite pieces .