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FTA-TV Panic at Rock Island

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Magpiespower

Cancelled
10k Posts A Star Wars Fan
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Magnificent from first spew to last!

Also known as Panic at Rock-Bottom Nine.

SmithyinBrissy's succint twitter review summed it up best:

"That #PanicAtRockIsland had to be the s#!ttest piece of television I've ever seen".

Especially loved the bikie premier of NSW.

Favourite lines...

"Somebody call him a water taxi!"
- Airhead TV presenter/Lizzy Lovette clone about a drunk festival fan. But they weren't drunk... they were INFECTED!

"Stop the boats."
Who knew the whole shebang was an allegory for the refugee crisis?

Paramedic #1: "Has he been overseas recently?"
Paramedic #2: "Does New Zealand count?"

- Okay this was meant to be funny. But delivered and directed so badly, it wasn't.

"Dong! Bell! Intermission!"
- Gruff government hack Marshall Napier cuts off that damn health department do-gooder Grant Bowler mid-rant.

"We're not talking about a little sniffle".
- Grant Bowler on the killer virus.

"Don't shout at me, I'm not your health minister!"
- Dee Smart, Grant Bowler's wife. Not his health minister.

"Louise... there are CHILDREN on that island!"
- Grant Bowler to heartless scientist Simon Kessell. Think of the children!

"Kiss. My. Bum."
- Rebel without a cause at the music festival.

"I'm standing in front of a freight train asking it politely to stop".
- Dr. Damian Walshe-Howling explaining how the s#1t had hit the fan.

"Tell me what this virus is! It's obviously something appalling."
- Dee Smart demanding answers from Grant Bowler about the virus. Or maybe her dialogue.

"Serious music fan, huh?"
- Stoned serious music fan to Dee Smart as she lands on Rock Island.

"I hear you've got a virus".
- Vince 'the Man in Black' Colosimo arriving on scene. Wore black, a leather jacket and sunnies and drove a convertible. Tough guy? Betcha goddamn ass!

"There was one survivor. Lt. Michael Cross. Said he kept himself alive drinking bat's milk".
- The Man in Black (MIB) giving hope to the free world.

"Don't you dare tell me what my @#%$in' duty is!"

- MIB to Grant Bowler. Full tough guy mode. Scary.

"I'm gonna pursue this. Until the truth comes out".
- Grant Assange.
 
I lasted 5 minutes with this shit last night, that was just ****ing terrible, one of, if not the worst Australian TV production in history (and we all know there's been some bad ones).

If Kerry Packer was alive he would have it shut off after 30 minutes.:p:D
 
Any Aussie tv movie this bad always has **** and nudity in it.
I waited and waited but alas nothing.
This was it's downfall imho.
 

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shocker.
I'm now considering leaving my heavily pregnant girlfriend for making me watch it (I mentally shut down after about 15 minutes, fortunately).

:thumbsd:
 

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