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Please give generously.........

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Number 24

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[FONT=&quot]Collingwood flood victims need assistance - Please Give Generously[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]

Torrential rain hit Collingwood in the early hours of last night.
Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, flannos soaked, woolen trackies sagging, muttering 'Farrckinell'.
Flood waters devastated the area causing approximately $30 worth of damage.
Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their Centre link cheques arrived.
The Collingwood Herald reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that
something interesting had happened in Smith St .
One resident - Tracy Maree Sharon Britney Madonna Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said 'It was such a shock, my little daughter Chardonnay-Mercedes came running in to my bedroom crying
My youngest two Joachim and River slept through it all.'
Apparently, looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.
The Australian Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Bacardi-Breezers to the area to help the stricken locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including Health Care Cards, Jewellery from Kmart and Bone China from Big W.


HOW CAN YOU HELP?

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.
Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include: flannelette Shirts, tight blue jeans or spandex, singlets (blue & white) white sport socks, Ugg boots and any other items usually sold in Priceline or The Reject Shop.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs urgently needed include: Microwave meals, Baked Beans, Ice cream, Chips, Fizzy drinks.
Donations of $ 25 ..00 will be taken to buy a packet of Winny blue 25s and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.


GIVE GENEROUSLY !!![/FONT][FONT=&quot]















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was this joke written in 1985? not sure how applicable it is to Collingwood these days.
the only flannette shirts and tight jeans you'll find in Smith St these days are worn by hipsters, and most likely designer.
 
I lived in Collingwood in 1996. I feel better for admitting that now.
 

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They will get nothing from me.

I have already given my $2 tax deductible donation to the Brisbane Flood Appeal and now this Communist/Fascist/Socialist/Bastard/Anarchist/Anti Christ Government wants to tax me 46 cents a week for a year to build other peoples roads, bridge, etc.

Let them build their own roads and bridges;after all charity begins at home.
 

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