noosa hawk mad
Norm Smith Medallist
Subject: Questions you just can't answer
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are
flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is
not enough?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but
check when you say the paint is wet?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
What is the speed of darkness?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up
every two hours?
Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the
Special Olympics?
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold
tomorrow, how cold will it be?
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a
good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars
to look at things on the ground?
Did you ever stop and wonder......
Who was the first person to look at a cow and
say, "I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink
whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that
chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing
that comes outta it's bum."
Why do toasters always have a setting so high
that could burn the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in
the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when
asking for the time, but don't point to their
bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist
leave the room when you get undressed if they
are going to look up there anyway?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto
remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable
oil is made from vegetables, then what is
baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does
morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle
Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on.......
Do illiterate people get the full effect of
Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a
dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you
take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than
once make it arrive faster?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your
e-mail address in the first place?
Got this from a mate today!!
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are
flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is
not enough?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but
check when you say the paint is wet?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
What is the speed of darkness?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up
every two hours?
Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the
Special Olympics?
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold
tomorrow, how cold will it be?
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a
good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars
to look at things on the ground?
Did you ever stop and wonder......
Who was the first person to look at a cow and
say, "I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink
whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that
chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing
that comes outta it's bum."
Why do toasters always have a setting so high
that could burn the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in
the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when
asking for the time, but don't point to their
bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist
leave the room when you get undressed if they
are going to look up there anyway?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto
remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable
oil is made from vegetables, then what is
baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does
morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle
Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on.......
Do illiterate people get the full effect of
Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a
dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you
take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than
once make it arrive faster?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your
e-mail address in the first place?
Got this from a mate today!!
