Ralph Mag's "50 Biggest w***ers"

[Bosley]

I bought Ralph magazine expecting to have a good laugh at what was a potentially hilarious idea: "Oz Sport's 50 Biggest w***ers".

Oh, what a disappointment! I have seen more humour, both blatant and subtle, in medical journals and copies of Hansard.

The reason I knew about the list in the mag was the publicity that was given to Graham Cornes snaring the seemingly prestigious position #15 on the list.

However, the list was prefaced with the asterisked disclaimer "Ranking decided by the scientific process of writing all the names on cards then throwing them in the air".

That probably explains why David Campese is ranked #1, while far more obvious w***er Jason Akermanis is ranked #45. How much effort would it take to actually rank them in some sort of actual order of w***erdom for goodness sake?!

But wait, it gets worse. Among the top 50 "w***ers" are inanimate venues and competitions, like the Telstra Dome (for squashy seats and overpriced food), the Hopman Cup (because the competitors don't care), and the NBL (because it has lost popular appeal). How can venues be w***ers? And Don Bradman made the list (WTF?!) Surely there are 500 sportsmen that could have "legitimately" made the list wihout resorting to stadiums and national heroes.

Does whoever put together this disgraceful article even understand what the term "w***er" means in the Australian vernacular? Sure Cornesy and Choco deserve their guernsey there but even more surely Sheeds (marshmallows, martians, seagulls and jacket waving) and Wallsy (general idiocy) should be in there before them.

If the article was funny it would be forgiveable but it's not. At a cost of $8.95 the mag is an absolute rip, even with the airbrushed photos of lovely Miranda Kerr. At least it came with a pack of dirty playing cards, even if my game knowledge is limited to "snap".

I will be writing a letter of complaint to Ralph ... but was wondering, did anyone else buy the mag and feel thoroughly aggrieved and bewildered by the list they presented?

 

[raikkonen]

Its a shame I judge this magazine by its cover then. Looks like a ripper this month .

I shall have to purchase and have a read of the said article. Il get back to you in a week or so once I have.

 

[Bosley]

Its a shame I judge this magazine by its cover then. Looks like a ripper this month .

I shall have to purchase and have a read of the said article. Il get back to you in a week or so once I have.

Go with Zoo instead. A quarter of the price, just as many hot chicks and a hell of a lot funnier.

On my flight to Melbourne recently I was reading a Zoo mag, there was an article "Amazing sporting moments" or something like that. There was a pic of Danny Vukovic going off at the ref just before he got his red card in the GF. The caption said "Just tell me the f***ing time!" I lost it and was crying with laughter for about 10 minutes. Well worth the price!

You are right about the Ralph cover this month tho ... and I am sure you will enjoy the playing cards you get with the mag

 

[Crow-mo]

a fool and his money is soon parted

 

[Bosley]

a fool and his money is soon parted

Or perhaps just another sign of the deteriorating standard of journalism, in all its forms, in this country.

 

[aNty]

Oh, what a disappointment! I have seen more humour, both blatant and subtle, in medical journals and copies of Hansard.

One might ask why you would be reading something as boring as Hansard in the first place.

 

[smoovy]

Ralph has deteriorated rapidly over the last few years. What was once the alternative to FHM has now become nothing more than coffee table material.

All the good stuff can now be found in Zoo. Even some of the femininas I know don't mind a gander at Zoo. I think they find it a valuable learning tool.

 

[Bosley]

Ralph has deteriorated rapidly over the last few years. What was once the alternative to FHM has now become nothing more than coffee table material.

All the good stuff can now be found in Zoo. Even some of the femininas I know don't mind a gander at Zoo. I think they find it a valuable learning tool.

I would rather look at Krystal than Miranda Kerr too. As long as I have no hope of ever spending time with either lady at least give me some massive funbags to gawk at!

 

[Crow-mo]

Or perhaps just another sign of the deteriorating standard of journalism, in all its forms, in this country.

Yes, Zoo & Ralph magazine are noted for their high standards of journalism.

I believe Ralph in particular was intending to syndicate to the Economist their piece on "OZ Sports 50 biggest w***ers".

the press club has been holding it's breath ever since

 

[Seanason]

I had thought this article was going to be good - but sounds quite poor.

Thanks for the heads up

 

[raikkonen]

a fool and his money is soon parted

I'm sure we all have various ways of wasting our money. I.e. I drink rarely and dont smoke, so that gives me quite a head start on a heell of a lot of people I know. And $7-8 p/m is nothing for a couple of hours reading.

FWIW. I find Ralph a much better read than Zoo. And FHM has definately gone downhill lately.

Anyone read the article on Mark Bosnich in last months Ralph? I enjoyed that story, good to see the bloke pick himself up and get back in the game.

 

[Sanguinarius]

Anyone read the article on Mark Bosnich in last months Ralph? I enjoyed that story, good to see the bloke pick himself up and get back in the game.

really enjoyed that article. It was surprising as I'd been wondering what had happened to him just around the time I picked the mag up. Good to see him go well in the trial match too!

 

[brucetiki]

I thought people bought these magazine for the pictures not the articles - the editors probably thought the same

 

[Bosley]

Anyone read the article on Mark Bosnich in last months Ralph? I enjoyed that story, good to see the bloke pick himself up and get back in the game.

Adelaide United vs Central Coast Mariners on Fri Oct 3rd. We may well get to see the great man in action! When does Vukovic's ban finish now?

 

[Bosley]

I thought people bought these magazine for the pictures not the articles - the editors probably thought the same

Not many outstanding pics in the issue either. Miss Kerr is in there but who hasn't seen a hundred airbrushed shots of her in a bikini by now?

I rely on these mags to introduce me to semi inducing brand new babes!

As a fledgling journalist myself, knowing roughly how much Ralph would pay for a page, I am deeply offended that the mag wasted so many pages on the Top 50 article when I feel I could have done a much better job and made a more than tidy profit from it.

 

[Seanason]

at what number did dyertribe feature?

 

[raikkonen]

Adelaide United vs Central Coast Mariners on Fri Oct 3rd. We may well get to see the great man in action! When does Vukovic's ban finish now?

Bosnich>Vukovic. Everyday of the week.

 

[tribey]

at what number did dyertribe feature?

I reckon you've got me covered with that post m8.

 

[Bosley]

Bosnich>Vukovic. Everyday of the week.

All day, everyday hey?

He is a shocking commentator tho. He better make some more money now cos I don't think he will have much of a media career.

 

[raikkonen]

All day, everyday hey?

He is a shocking commentator tho. He better make some more money now cos I don't think he will have much of a media career.

How many blokes have 5 years out, then come back for their first serious game, and get a BOG award.

 

[Bosley]

How many blokes have 5 years out, then come back for their first serious game, and get a BOG award.

Is this a trick question?

If u think I am question my fellow Bosman's skill or ability I most certainly am not. He is probably the best 'keeper Australia has ever produced.

Getting back to the original question tho, do u know when Vukovic's ban ends? It got changed so many times I can't remember what the final decision ended up being.

 

[raikkonen]

Is this a trick question?

If u think I am question my fellow Bosman's skill or ability I most certainly am not. He is probably the best 'keeper Australia has ever produced.

Getting back to the original question tho, do u know when Vukovic's ban ends? It got changed so many times I can't remember what the final decision ended up being.

Out for Rounds 3-7, I stumbled across it very late last night reading an article on my phone. I believe his initial ban had a suspended perioed, allowing him to front for the Olympics, but now FIFA have not allowed him to play at the Games, but have said he can play for CCM for R1/2 (I assume thats when the Olympics are on?).

 

[jackster83]

How about we make up our own list of sport's biggest w***ers:

Willie Mason
Sonny Bill Williams
Andrew Dimitriou
Scott Mclaren
Choco
Robert Walls
Mike Sheehan
Fevola
Josh Carr
Cameron Mooney
Chad Cornes
Dean Brogan
Daniel Motlop
Aker
Barry Hall
Lleyton Hewitt
Jana Rawlinson (formerly Jana Pitman)
Greg Norman

Just to name a few.
I don't have much time for Ricky Ponting either. The way he handles himself when things aren't going right is pretty ordinary.

 

[Bosley]

Whoever designed Collingwood's and Essendon's "clash" guernseys can go straight to the top of the list ... or maybe whoever at the AFL approved them should.

 

[raikkonen]

How about we make up our own list of sport's biggest w***ers:

M. Rucci
Diving Italians
Wayne Rooney
Warren "Take a Bow" Tredrea

FWIW, I think The Fev is a champ. Love to bag on him when he's playing v Adelaide, but otherwise