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Not the nicest of topics, but I hope that these tips are useful to some and help prevent you or those you know from becoming a victim.
I know of a related "family member" who was r*ped recently and I was so devestated to learn of this that when I next met her mother I just burst into tears hugging her and saying how sorry I was. The victim doesnt know that I know of her ordeal and nor does her father.
The upshot is that the whole immediate family is finding it very difficult to come to terms with. I wish I could help but this would betray what I secretly know.
Councilling continues but so do sleepless nights and agonising despair.
Anyhow...This was sent to my wife and daughter; its a bit long.
> > A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what
> they
> > look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:
> >
> >
> > 1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle.
They
> > are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other
> > hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a
> > woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
> >
> >
> > 2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women
> > who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors
> > around to cut clothing.
> >
> >
> > 3) They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their
> > purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard
> > and can be easily overpowered.
> >
> >
> > 4) The time of day men are most likely to attack and rape a woman is in
> the
> > early morning, between 5 and 8:30 a.m.
> >
> >
> > 5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked at is grocery
> > store parking lots. Number two is office parking lots/garages. Number
> three
> > is public restrooms.
> >
> >
> > 6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman
and
> > quickly move her to a second location where they don't have to worry
about
> > getting caught.
> >
> >
> > 7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year
> > sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.
> >
> >
> > 8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged
because
> > it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you
> > isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.
> >
> >
> > 9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or
> other
> > similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands. Keys
> are
> > not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to
> use
> > them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not
worth
> > it.
> >
> >
> > 10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following
> > behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or
> > stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time
> is
> > it, or make general small talk, I can't believe it is so cold out here,
> > we're in for a bad winter. Now you've seen their face and could
> > identify them in a lineup, you lose appeal as a target.
> >
> >
> > 11) If someone is coming toward you, hold out our hands in front of you
> and
> > yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said
they'd
> > leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid
> to
> > fight back.
> >
> > Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
> >
> >
> > 12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it
> > and carries it with him wherever he goes), yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY
and
> > holding it out will be a deterrent.
> >
> >
> > 13) If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can
by
> > outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch
> > the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the
> > upper inner thigh -- HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him
> > she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and
> > was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands --
the
> > guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as
you
> > can stand it; it hurts.
> >
> >
> > 14) After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a
> > particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is
> > extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make
him
> > want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor
is
> > that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start
causing
> > trouble, and he's out of there.
> >
> >
> > 15) When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers
and
> > bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on
> > them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much
pressure,
> > and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.
> >
> >
> > 16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of
> > your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any
> odd
> > behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel a
little
> > silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was
> trouble
I know of a related "family member" who was r*ped recently and I was so devestated to learn of this that when I next met her mother I just burst into tears hugging her and saying how sorry I was. The victim doesnt know that I know of her ordeal and nor does her father.
The upshot is that the whole immediate family is finding it very difficult to come to terms with. I wish I could help but this would betray what I secretly know.
Councilling continues but so do sleepless nights and agonising despair.
Anyhow...This was sent to my wife and daughter; its a bit long.
> > A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what
> they
> > look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:
> >
> >
> > 1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle.
They
> > are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other
> > hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a
> > woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
> >
> >
> > 2) The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women
> > who's clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors
> > around to cut clothing.
> >
> >
> > 3) They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their
> > purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard
> > and can be easily overpowered.
> >
> >
> > 4) The time of day men are most likely to attack and rape a woman is in
> the
> > early morning, between 5 and 8:30 a.m.
> >
> >
> > 5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked at is grocery
> > store parking lots. Number two is office parking lots/garages. Number
> three
> > is public restrooms.
> >
> >
> > 6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman
and
> > quickly move her to a second location where they don't have to worry
about
> > getting caught.
> >
> >
> > 7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year
> > sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.
> >
> >
> > 8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged
because
> > it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you
> > isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.
> >
> >
> > 9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or
> other
> > similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands. Keys
> are
> > not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to
> use
> > them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not
worth
> > it.
> >
> >
> > 10) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following
> > behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or
> > stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time
> is
> > it, or make general small talk, I can't believe it is so cold out here,
> > we're in for a bad winter. Now you've seen their face and could
> > identify them in a lineup, you lose appeal as a target.
> >
> >
> > 11) If someone is coming toward you, hold out our hands in front of you
> and
> > yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said
they'd
> > leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid
> to
> > fight back.
> >
> > Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
> >
> >
> > 12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it
> > and carries it with him wherever he goes), yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY
and
> > holding it out will be a deterrent.
> >
> >
> > 13) If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can
by
> > outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch
> > the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the
> > upper inner thigh -- HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him
> > she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and
> > was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands --
the
> > guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as
you
> > can stand it; it hurts.
> >
> >
> > 14) After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a
> > particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is
> > extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make
him
> > want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor
is
> > that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble. Start
causing
> > trouble, and he's out of there.
> >
> >
> > 15) When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers
and
> > bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on
> > them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much
pressure,
> > and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.
> >
> >
> > 16) Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of
> > your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any
> odd
> > behavior, don't dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel a
little
> > silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was
> trouble
