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Relationships....

  • Thread starter Thread starter Renegade
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Isn't it amazing, a woman starts a thread like this & she gets called a whiney bitch, told to stop posting their personal problems on the net to strangers, because no one is interested, gets told that the guy is probably trying to break it off, because she is fat & ugly, but look at the difference when a guy starts them. :rolleyes:
 
Originally posted by mantis
Isn't it amazing, a woman starts a thread like this & she gets called a whiney bitch, told to stop posting their personal problems on the net to strangers, because no one is interested, gets told that the guy is probably trying to break it off, because she is fat & ugly, but look at the difference when a guy starts them. :rolleyes:
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Stop whining.
 

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Originally posted by Spidergirl~RiCkChiCk
Being surrounded by divorced women at work now and hearing it all i have come to the conclusion i will never get married.

MEN r BASTARDS!!!!

After hearing the heartache and seeing how it destroys these womens lives even years later i don't think it's worth it.

Also struggling to see how several on these boards keep getting away with cheap shots against a well known divorced woman on here. Not a funny thing when you hear in depth stories about how it can turn your life upside down and i don't know how the moderators can allow it.
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There are ALWAYS two sides to the story.
 
Sounds like excuse making, or she's an incredibly weak individual. If I believed I was going to turn out like my parents, I'd shoot myself now. But I know I won't. It sounds like a really weak thing to say. Maybe she's just a bit upset and needs a bit of space, and it was some stupid part of her brain talking.

Moh. If she breaks up over this, you don't need her.
 
i agree with you there sbagman about that messed up part of her brain talking....we had our talk last night and as expected it was the divorce thing that had completely taken over her thinking. She says atfer seeing her parents like the way they are for her whole life she carries that baggage around into hers.

We have had 3 good years, so i know she can put that negative aside for our sake. All i need to do is to get her seeing things rationally again. I have suggested we go see a cousiller (sp?) together or she can see one on her own if she wants.
The only thing stopping us here is this ****.
I'm hoping she can get past it, if not she's going to live a single miserable life..because of a relationship gone wrong that she wasnt even completely involved in.
 
Originally posted by Renegade
i agree with you there sbagman about that messed up part of her brain talking....we had our talk last night and as expected it was the divorce thing that had completely taken over her thinking. She says atfer seeing her parents like the way they are for her whole life she carries that baggage around into hers.

We have had 3 good years, so i know she can put that negative aside for our sake. All i need to do is to get her seeing things rationally again. I have suggested we go see a cousiller (sp?) together or she can see one on her own if she wants.
The only thing stopping us here is this ****.
I'm hoping she can get past it, if not she's going to live a single miserable life..because of a relationship gone wrong that she wasnt even completely involved in.
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If she somehow puts off going to the councellor then you should assume shes found someone better. I don't know her age but my aunty and uncle split up pretty much as soon as my cousin was old enough and she couldn't have cared less. Unless your girlfriend is around 15 i really can't see how divorce is going to affect her this much to break up with her own boyfriend.
 
Originally posted by Spidergirl~RiCkChiCk
If she somehow puts off going to the councellor then you should assume shes found someone better.
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He should do no such thing. Just because she puts off going to a counsellor - something a lot of people would be extremely hesitant about? That's ridiculous. People are allowed to take some time to themselves - hell, some lucky people can even survive without being in a relationship - doesn't mean she's cheating, or found someone better.
 

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Yeah i know she's not cheating, she'd be honest enough to tell me that. It doesnt make sense to alot of people what sh's going through...i guess it's one of those things that need time. I remember my parents divorcing hurting me initially but i quickly got over it, i just hope she can do the same.
 
Originally posted by Nic
He should do no such thing. Just because she puts off going to a counsellor - something a lot of people would be extremely hesitant about? That's ridiculous. People are allowed to take some time to themselves - hell, some lucky people can even survive without being in a relationship - doesn't mean she's cheating, or found someone better.
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Well said.

Originally posted by Spidergirl~RiCkChiCk
If she somehow puts off going to the councellor then you should assume shes found someone better.
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I doubt BeCcA or even babycakes would be able to come up with something as incredibly stupid as this comment. I tip my hat to you.
 
well today she came over this morning, it's my birthday so i guess she felt she should. The divorce of her parents has her now thinking we're too similair for each other.... i'm just convinced this divorce has ****ed every rational thought she has. The positive thing was that she at least talked to me normally today... and when i said i want to be back at home with her she said she needs a few more days....good..i dunno about that, but it's something.
So i guess it'll wait till tuesday to see what happens next in our little 'Days Of Our Lives' relationship.
I'm feeling a little better mentally about things...doesn't mean anything great will happen of course but i'm trying to keep my spirits high...it's tough.
 
Originally posted by Spidergirl~RiCkChiCk
Being surrounded by divorced women at work now and hearing it all i have come to the conclusion i will never get married.

MEN r BASTARDS!!!!

After hearing the heartache and seeing how it destroys these womens lives even years later i don't think it's worth it.

Also struggling to see how several on these boards keep getting away with cheap shots against a well known divorced woman on here. Not a funny thing when you hear in depth stories about how it can turn your life upside down and i don't know how the moderators can allow it.
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or your back.
 

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Originally posted by Nic
You don't know it, and neither does she probably, but she's testing you. She says back off, so if you don't you're a ********. But she's obviously going through a rough time, so if you're not there for her you're a ********. Try and find a happy medium.:)
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Man, for someone so young you never cease to amaze me with your wisdom.

I think Nic's right. This girl is going through a trauma, and a safety net she's grown up with and been able to always rely on has been taken away. She's hurt and confused and scared. She most likely loves and respects her parents dearly and is suddenly thinking "Well if they can't make it, how can I?" I think it's all pretty normal, even if her attitude is a bit hard to deal with right now.

My advice? Give her time and give her space. But not too much space that her idea's of nothing ever working out will be confirmed. Be there, love her and re-assure her that you're never leaving her. That's what she needs right now. In time the details of her parents separation will become clearer and she'll better be able to put it into perspective and realise that she is different.

Good luck Renegade. Love is so hard to find, and when you're lucky enough to find the right person you need to fight for it sometimes. But it's all worth it in the end.
 
Thanks Mandy.

I havent spoken to her since i dropped her home on Saturday afternoon. Tomorrow i'll speak to her and see how she's doing... we planned to get together tomorrow and have another talk about it. Sat she said she needed a few more days so that's what i've given without contact.
I'm pretty sure i'll know tomorrow what the deal is going to be... i've decided that if it comes to the worst case scenario that it's over i'm just going to have to cut off ties and try and move forward in my own life.
 
Hey guys....it's been around 6 weeks since my post on this subject and thought i'd update you on whats been goin on.

That relationship with my girl died as i'd feared. I actually havent spoken to her since probrably a week before Christmas. I've actually dealt with the breakup much better than i anticipated which i'm proud of.
Things took a big step forward too. I was asked out by a lovely girl almost 2 weeks ago. She's a girl i've known for around 5-6 months, i usually saw her on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays when we went to grab food from the place she works after we play sports. So i agreed to go to the movies with her and we had a sensational time, both of us agreed it went better than we both imagined it would. We went to a pier and a lookout and ended up talking and kissing all night.

A couple of nights later i was having friends around to watch some dvds and i invited her along. She stayed after the guys left an we ended up kissing on my couch before things got heated up and we went to bed and had some awesome sex. Again we ended up just talking after than until about 5am. We met about 6 hrs later and spent the day together driving around and watching some more dvds.

So i'm extremely happy the way things have started with this new girl and who knows what the future holds... she's coming to stay the night on friday so hopefully there will be a repeat performance!

On the other hand there's the part of me that is kinda fearful of relationships and getting hurt. Especially since i'm already starting to have feelings for this girl.

I guess in one way when one door closes it allows another to open.
 
Great to hear you've got things back on track, good luck to you.

I wouldnt worry too much about being hurt again. Thinking like that will only inflict splinters of self doubt, and you might get a little edgy. Focus on everything positive in what you have now, instead of creeping around on eggshells. :)
 

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