RIP Cam McCarthy

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Hi all, just a reminder that should today's news be triggering for you then there are resources and people out there which I cannot recommend enough:

Lifeline - 13 11 14
Beyond Blue - 1300 224 636
MensLine Australia - 1300 789 978
Headspace - 1800 650 890

Otherwise feel free to reach out to one of us, or each other.

:purpleheart:
 
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Gimme the Fyfe said:
There's a lot I'd like to write about this weekend but need to clear my thoughts. There are a few intertwined issues that came with this weekend. For those going hard on Fyfe and the team's performance this week speaks tons about their own character.

I want to write more but like I say, I need a clear head for it. Maybe in a few days.

For those that doubt the impact of the circumstances, here is a clip of the young lad. He had heart and I'm sure he was very dear to many. This brought a tear to my eye.

Life is a precious thing.

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Thank you for sharing this. Although I’m tearing up again
 
errant bounce said:
No one's said that, people have been tiptoing around it and have been very respectful and calm. let's be honest, Sydney absolutely kicked us all over the place and it was an abysmal effort – I'd say most of it was the coaching, too.

Stop creating this narrative we're some naggy, negative set of supporters. we are the nuffs. I think only Richmond love themselves as much as us.
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Man if ratios were a thing on here your account would be smoking hole 5000 km down in the inner core by now.
 
pK75 said:
Thank you for sharing this. Although I’m tearing up again
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I was hesitant to post the video as it might be upsetting.

My reason for doing so is that I've found as I've got a bit older, losing people is an inevitability. Its important to remember as well as to celebrate those that have come and gone and value their contribution in this brief time we all have and share together.
 

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sumavich said:
Legend Snuff! The more I think about it, the more I think the game should've been delayed
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It 100% should have and it shouldn’t have been left to the players to decide that. It’s putting too much on them. The club and the AFL should have independently made the decision to postpone it till Sunday at least. It hadn’t even been 24 hours between his death and the game.
 
Snuffaluphagus said:
Cam McCarthy shared the field with lots of these guys and was still a good friend to many and they are playing the DAY after they find out their mate took his own life (I’m sorry but he did and it’s added context). Does this seriously need explaining?
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I listened to Derm speak about Cam and his relationship with him from early GWS days. It had been a long time since they worked together, and years since they last spoke, and he said he kept asking himself if there was more he could've done to help him. It's naive to think that many of our guys wouldn't be thinking the same thing, even those who weren't as close to him and didn't have a relationship with him outside the club.
 
s_wd6 said:
I listened to Derm speak about Cam and his relationship with him from early GWS days. It had been a long time since they worked together, and years since they last spoke, and he said he kept asking himself if there was more he could've done to help him. It's naive to think that many of our guys wouldn't be thinking the same thing, even those who weren't as close to him and didn't have a relationship with him outside the club.
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Im just so saddened it needs explaining or a second of thought
 
Minz said:
I'm curious about the resources in mental health support services, because whatever we're doing, it doesn't work. In practice, as a healthcare worker who sees a lot of presentations associated with mental health, it seems that community support services are significantly under-resourced, and every single place I've worked is clearly massively short on mental health beds for inpatient care (ridiculously so). Perhaps Headspace is just not that useful?

I've spent a lot of time talking about this to a friend who's an experienced Psychiatrist who's spent years in the public system both in WA and elsewhere, and they also report significant under-resourcing of mental health community support; apparently WA used to have a quite holistic state system but as money has been hived off into non-public services, it's become disjointed and has basically fallen in a heap... something I see in my patients every single shift.
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Can't speak for mental health generally but I can understand the circumstances McCarthy was in. Many points in your life do you wonder whether you blew it, made the wrong decision, didn't put the effort in when it mattered, decided on the easier path, or took a stupid risk that was never worth the reward. Most people come to terms with the fact they probably wouldn't have done anything differently and live with it, but plenty fall into pits of despair. They don't always take their own life, many resort to alcohol, drugs, or just check out socially. That mate you haven't heard from in years? Chances are he's still around but completely disengaged from life.

This doesn't always manifest immediately after a job loss, relationship breakdown, or other failure, but years later when the rut has become endless and they can no longer see any way out. Your footy career ending at 25 and you might give yourself a slim chance of making it back if you just get in the right frame of mind. At 29, you realise that's it, and if you haven't thought of how else you'd like to live your life, you feel trapped.

And this isn't just people who have missed out on the careers they dreamed of - many people have 'good careers' and have the same problems. Doctors are well known for being depressed and taking their own lives at rates higher than the average person.
 
A little insight my mum had into Cam. She had a relationship with one of his relatives. She was told that there was an unsaid rule at family gatherings that you weren't to talk footy. It was years ago she told me this but she reminded me of it at the game on Friday. I think poor Cam really put a ton of pressure on himself.
 
Gimme the Fyfe said:
There's a lot I'd like to write about this weekend but need to clear my thoughts. There are a few intertwined issues that came with this weekend. For those going hard on Fyfe and the team's performance this week speaks tons about their own character.

I want to write more but like I say, I need a clear head for it. Maybe in a few days.

For those that doubt the impact of the circumstances, here is a clip of the young lad. He had heart and I'm sure he was very dear to many. This brought a tear to my eye.

Life is a precious thing.

Click to expand...

Yarran. what an absolute waste of a life. met him once and he was the most gentle dude. great footballer too.
 
After a couple of days processing it all, I truly believe the game should have either been postponed or the club been given the option to. This “the show must go on” bulshit doesn’t hold true for tragic circumstances like this, where a result could go a long way to determine a teams position and that result is essentially compromised when one team is so obviously grieving heavily.

Whilst I don’t always agree or read too much in to the AFL propaganda machine, this little snippet in the Nine things we learnt on their site was pretty apt:

The heartbreaking scenes before and after Fremantle's 48-point loss to Sydneyhammered home how difficult Friday night's task would have been for some players in the hours after they learned of former teammate Cam McCarthy's tragic death. There were 11 Dockers in action who played with McCarthy, who clearly left a mark on his former clubs. The Dockers' performance lacked polish but not effort against a near flawless Sydney team that needs no invitation to punish errors. Conclusions could be drawn on the Dockers' own prospects based on their front-half errors and how they handled the Swans' pressure at times, but the pain on players' faces and their emotions post-match made it clear there was more at play. – Nathan Schmook
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Interesting that Jordan Clark liked this post.
 

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The Guardian's Jonathan Horn continues to be the best writer on AFL with his most recent piece on Cam and our - the AFL's, Australia's, ours - approach to male mental health.

There's an interesting insight into Cam that came from Dermott Brereton when he talked of how fearless Cam was when going for marks. Derm spoke with some fondess of how Cam would just pin the ears back and fly at the ball, not caring if his legs got tangled up or that he was going to faceplant.

And we love all that. We love fearlessness. We certainly castigate the s**t out of blokes when they don't show it. We love beast mode and smashing s**t and blokes being machines.

Cam wasn't a machine. He wasn't all about smashing others. If anything, his fearlessness in the air was another manifestation of what did him in. Not just recklessness, like being reckless wasn't damaging enough, but that he genuinely didn't seem to care what happened to him.

That there is in our society a wicked deep streak of encouragement of that - of despising or belittling care - is the saddest part of all.

When we laugh at the benders of the mad campaigners, never minding how self-destructive they are. When we lionise the reckless. When we belittle the soft. Even when we politely murmur and move on, hoping not to have to deal.

We're a fairly stupid bunch.

I've done my fair share of stupid drunk s**t - I probably did your share too. In my twenties I was "drunk on the kind of applause that gets louder the lower you sink." A lot of young men are. I give thanks daily for the love from others that pulled me out of that. I get so very very sad that blokes like Cam couldn't get there.
 
Dale147 said:
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For the first time I can remember I am actually very impressed by a West Australian article and the journalist.
This really sums it all up, the game should not have been played. I for one know there is no way I could function at work a day after learning such tragic news.
I don’t know about anyone else but during the game and afterwards it felt very strange. I didn’t feel that I should be there in the sense I was intruding on something that should have been more private, and what I was supposed to do and feel about it. That was shown by the 23 minute tribute, in our block people were unsure of what they were supposed to do, should they stand, should they remain silent, should they clap.
My point is that if we as supporters were feeling this way, what were the group of young men on the field who are so much closer to this feeling.
I hope and pray that everyone in our club is receiving the support they need at this time.
 
Bigger said:
The Guardian's Jonathan Horn continues to be the best writer on AFL with his most recent piece on Cam and our - the AFL's, Australia's, ours - approach to male mental health.

There's an interesting insight into Cam that came from Dermott Brereton when he talked of how fearless Cam was when going for marks. Derm spoke with some fondess of how Cam would just pin the ears back and fly at the ball, not caring if his legs got tangled up or that he was going to faceplant.

And we love all that. We love fearlessness. We certainly castigate the s**t out of blokes when they don't show it. We love beast mode and smashing s**t and blokes being machines.

Cam wasn't a machine. He wasn't all about smashing others. If anything, his fearlessness in the air was another manifestation of what did him in. Not just recklessness, like being reckless wasn't damaging enough, but that he genuinely didn't seem to care what happened to him.

That there is in our society a wicked deep streak of encouragement of that - of despising or belittling care - is the saddest part of all.

When we laugh at the benders of the mad campaigners, never minding how self-destructive they are. When we lionise the reckless. When we belittle the soft. Even when we politely murmur and move on, hoping not to have to deal.

We're a fairly stupid bunch.

I've done my fair share of stupid drunk s**t - I probably did your share too. In my twenties I was "drunk on the kind of applause that gets louder the lower you sink." A lot of young men are. I give thanks daily for the love from others that pulled me out of that. I get so very very sad that blokes like Cam couldn't get there.
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Amen brother
 
I was shocked at what appeared to me to be a full on shot at Fremantle FC by the media with the articles written about the four tragic deaths of your young men.The photos of all four in Dockers guernseys shows the thought of the paper and the journalist.
I am of the opinion that Fremantle FC should be praised rather than have bullets fired at them over the sad losses.
In regards to Colin Sylvia and Shane Yarran and Cam McCarthy, the club knew the challenges facing them in their recruitment.But they were prepared to give then a go. Yes, probably, football success was first and foremost, but they worked their butts off the help the young men. Only my opinion, but I think they deserve some credit for always being there for the.
As for Harley Balic, the allegations that he was introduced into the drug scene when at Fremantle is mere speculation, yet the media have constantly run with the speculation.
I may be wrong, but in my heart I know that the FFC did all they could to assist.
Such a sad fact of life.
May they all rest in peace.
 
Dale147 said:
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I don't think anyone would have complained if it got postponed to Sunday or even Monday night. Or even move the game to the bye round in September. As much as that might not have helped Fremantle or Sydney at the backend of the year if playing finals well these are special circumstances no one can control.

These are exceptional circumstances what happened to the flexibility and ability to move games on a whim during covid.

Even having 1 or 2 nights to sleep off such tragic news & adjust to what had happened would have been a lot more fairer for our players.

Friday night the players would still have been in shock and grief.

I know a couple of days after a such tragic news once you have processed what has happened is a lot easier as painful as it is.

I didn't see the game on Friday night as i was out at a corporate function and seeing the scores i wasn't going to sit through the pain and watch a replay of us play on Saturday once i saw the score.

Anyone remember when Phil Hughes died they postponed the 1st test and basically rescheduled the whole series.
 
Yes postponing probably would have helped. it was just such late notice i think and the AFL just didn't get enough time to think through all options.
 
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