> Did you hear that the Post Office has had to recall their latest stamps?
> They had pictures of Collingwood players on them. People couldn't figure out
> which side to spit on.
>
> Did you hear about the politician who was found dead in an Collingwood
> jersey?
> The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save his
> family from the embarrassment.
>
> Four surgeons are taking a coffee break.
> The first one says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when
> you
>
> open them up everything inside them is numbered.
>
> "The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything
inside
> them is in alphabetical order.
> "Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is
> colour-coded.
> "The fourth one says, "I prefer Collingwood fans. They're heartless,
> spineless, gutless and their heads and bums are interchangeable."
>
>
> A man meets a friend and sees that his friend's car is total write-off
> and
> covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend
> "What's happened to your car ?" "Well," the
> friend responds, "I ran over Nathan Buckley". "OK," says the man, "that
> explains the blood... But
> what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt ?" "Well, he
> tried to escape through the park."
>
> Q. If you see a Collingwood fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to
> hit him?
> A. It could be your bicycle.
>
> Q. What do Collingwood fans and sperm have in common?
> A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
>
> Q. What do you have when 100 Collingwood fans are buried up to their necks
in
> sand?
> A. Not enough sand.
>
> Q. What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead
> Collingwood
> fan on the road?
> A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.
>
> Q. You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a Collingwood
> fan.
> You have a gun with two bullets. What do you do?
>
> A. Shoot the Collingwood fan - twice.
>
> Q. What's the difference between Mick Malthouse and a jet engine?
> A. A jet engine eventually stops whining.
>
> Q. How many Collingwood fans does it take to change a light bulb?
> A. Seven - one to change it, five to moan about it and Eddie McGurie to
say
> that if the umpire had done his job in the first place the light bulb
> would
> never have gone out.
>
>
> Q. What's the differance between a female Collingwood fan and a pit bull?
> A. Lipstick
>
> Q. Santa Claus , the tooth fairy , an intelligent Collingwood fan , and an
> old
> drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot
a
> $100.00 note. Who gets it ?
>
> A. The drunk , or course ; the other three are mythical creatures.
>
> Q. What is black and brown and looks good on a Collingwood Fan ?
> A. A Doberman.
>
> Q. What do Collingwood Fans use for birth control ?
> A. Their personalities.
>
> Q. What is the difference between a Collingwood Fan and a trampoline?
> A. You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline .
>
> A Collingwood fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Collingwood
> jumper.
> He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St Peter in a St.Kilda
> scarf. "Hello, mate," says St Peter, "I'm sorry, no Collingwood fans in
> heaven."
> "What?" exclaims the man, astonished.
> "You heard. No Collingwood fans."
> "But, but, but, I've been a good man," replies the Collingwood supporter
> They had pictures of Collingwood players on them. People couldn't figure out
> which side to spit on.
>
> Did you hear about the politician who was found dead in an Collingwood
> jersey?
> The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save his
> family from the embarrassment.
>
> Four surgeons are taking a coffee break.
> The first one says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when
> you
>
> open them up everything inside them is numbered.
>
> "The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything
inside
> them is in alphabetical order.
> "Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is
> colour-coded.
> "The fourth one says, "I prefer Collingwood fans. They're heartless,
> spineless, gutless and their heads and bums are interchangeable."
>
>
> A man meets a friend and sees that his friend's car is total write-off
> and
> covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend
> "What's happened to your car ?" "Well," the
> friend responds, "I ran over Nathan Buckley". "OK," says the man, "that
> explains the blood... But
> what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt ?" "Well, he
> tried to escape through the park."
>
> Q. If you see a Collingwood fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to
> hit him?
> A. It could be your bicycle.
>
> Q. What do Collingwood fans and sperm have in common?
> A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
>
> Q. What do you have when 100 Collingwood fans are buried up to their necks
in
> sand?
> A. Not enough sand.
>
> Q. What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead
> Collingwood
> fan on the road?
> A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.
>
> Q. You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a Collingwood
> fan.
> You have a gun with two bullets. What do you do?
>
> A. Shoot the Collingwood fan - twice.
>
> Q. What's the difference between Mick Malthouse and a jet engine?
> A. A jet engine eventually stops whining.
>
> Q. How many Collingwood fans does it take to change a light bulb?
> A. Seven - one to change it, five to moan about it and Eddie McGurie to
say
> that if the umpire had done his job in the first place the light bulb
> would
> never have gone out.
>
>
> Q. What's the differance between a female Collingwood fan and a pit bull?
> A. Lipstick
>
> Q. Santa Claus , the tooth fairy , an intelligent Collingwood fan , and an
> old
> drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot
a
> $100.00 note. Who gets it ?
>
> A. The drunk , or course ; the other three are mythical creatures.
>
> Q. What is black and brown and looks good on a Collingwood Fan ?
> A. A Doberman.
>
> Q. What do Collingwood Fans use for birth control ?
> A. Their personalities.
>
> Q. What is the difference between a Collingwood Fan and a trampoline?
> A. You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline .
>
> A Collingwood fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Collingwood
> jumper.
> He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St Peter in a St.Kilda
> scarf. "Hello, mate," says St Peter, "I'm sorry, no Collingwood fans in
> heaven."
> "What?" exclaims the man, astonished.
> "You heard. No Collingwood fans."
> "But, but, but, I've been a good man," replies the Collingwood supporter
