The ADH... Look a Squirrel

[p4p1]

Just a thread to be soundboards off each other for us folks who have ADHD. Advice etc because a lot of normal things to get organised etc don't work for us.
ADHD is an executive function disorder that made we walk up to my CEO on Tuesday who is a mad Doggies supporter and give him s**t. For context, yes he knows my name, no we don't work closely together but thankfully he is an approachable guy who takes that kind of stuff in his stride. I ended up having a good 5-10 min conversation with him about footy and turns out his Daughters are mad Lions fans and his favourite player was Michael Voss. Said Voss was the best leader he has seen on a footy field.
There is some fun and funny things that we do but there is also strong links to depression, anxiety, low self worth and addiction.

 

[BrainOfMorbius]

Depression... check
Anxiety... Check
Imposter syndrome... Check

I'm super careful around drugs and alcohol because there are plenty of abusers of both in my family history and I have an addictive personality. Fortunately it's worked so far.

I avoid BF after a loss because footy and the Lions are my heroin and I don't want to be addicted to something that makes me sad.

Work has been a struggle the last few years, but since the diagnosis I've had medication that's made a big difference. I do feel like most of my life has been wasted thinking I'm no good at anything much but at least I can make the best of what's left, so things are looking up.

 

[Gadzorks]

Depression... check
Anxiety... Check
Imposter syndrome... Check

I'm super careful around drugs and alcohol because there are plenty of abusers of both in my family history and I have an addictive personality. Fortunately it's worked so far.

I avoid BF after a loss because footy and the Lions are my heroin and I don't want to be addicted to something that makes me sad.

Work has been a struggle the last few years, but since the diagnosis I've had medication that's made a big difference. I do feel like most of my life has been wasted thinking I'm no good at anything much but at least I can make the best of what's left, so things are looking up.

You are awesome at being you. Sure there are some lumps and bumps, but at least we know what ours are.

If it wasn't for us, people around us would be BORED. Think about footy with ADHD fans. Nightmare of careful, considered, minimalist conservation. Give me emotion impulsively shared any day.

No robbo, Motty, Charlie. Not knocking them but lachie and Dan don't have that x factor that we do.

 

[p4p1]

Depression... check
Anxiety... Check
Imposter syndrome... Check

I'm super careful around drugs and alcohol because there are plenty of abusers of both in my family history and I have an addictive personality. Fortunately it's worked so far.

I avoid BF after a loss because footy and the Lions are my heroin and I don't want to be addicted to something that makes me sad.

Work has been a struggle the last few years, but since the diagnosis I've had medication that's made a big difference. I do feel like most of my life has been wasted thinking I'm no good at anything much but at least I can make the best of what's left, so things are looking up.

The medication was life changing for me. I was 28 when I was diagnosed and in uni. My grades went up 25%, I wasn't as stressed and things were just a lot easier. There is no way I would be able to do the job I do now without medication. I wouldn't have the patience for one thing.
Weekends are were I struggle the most because I often don't take my meds and cbf doing anything other than watching tv or plaing a game etc.

I'm the same as you with drugs and alcohol. I enjoy them enough that I don't touch them because I don't think it would take long for me to form a habit. Especially with downers which I really love. I think because it just slows everything down and I'm not stressed or anxious.

 

[p4p1]

Lastest current obsession that I am sure I will get over at some point but right now is costing me too much money.... Pokemon cards from my youth. I have now completed 2 set lists and am 5 cards off completing a 3rd. It's not too bad because it turns out I already had a lot of them but at $50+ea for some of the cards it adds up quick.
Currently I am using it to force myself to take lunch and have breakfast at home rather than buying breakky and lunch. It's worked for 3 days out of 5 so far so I allow myself to get a card. I don't even like the show.... Just the shiny things that I can put in a folder and complete a collection.

 

[p4p1]

With R U OK day being last week it seems like a good time to check in on the ADHD squad.
How is everyone doing?

 

[BrainOfMorbius]

Mostly good thanks. The Lions doing so well is a good distraction from other less welcome news, I just hope we make the grand final at last to keep it going that one more week. If we make the final, I might just have to be honest with the boss about my distraction levels during the week.

How about you?

 

[p4p1]

Mostly good thanks. The Lions doing so well is a good distraction from other less welcome news, I just hope we make the grand final at last to keep it going that one more week. If we make the final, I might just have to be honest with the boss about my distraction levels during the week.

How about you?

Well thankfully we made it though it’ll probably hurt more to lose this week than it would have last week. Very happy to have won last week though, I think we just keep proving things to ourselves as a team.
How’s your distraction levels?
I’m ok. Busy as * though. Might get called into HR about a joke I made. Unfortunately the old folder between the brain and mouth doesn’t always work so great.

 

[BrainOfMorbius]

Well thankfully we made it though it’ll probably hurt more to lose this week than it would have last week. Very happy to have won last week though, I think we just keep proving things to ourselves as a team.
How’s your distraction levels?

I fluctuate between phases of hyper focus and hyper distraction, but it's probably only to be expected. I've been able to get a fair bit of work done so that's good. I had to take my daughter to hospital last night and it looks like she'll be there another night. She's fine but between that and the grand final I'm no hope of maintaining focus on work, so I've put in for carers leave for the rest of the week. Best for everybody really.

I’m ok. Busy as * though. Might get called into HR about a joke I made. Unfortunately the old folder between the brain and mouth doesn’t always work so great.

Oh that sucks. All the best with that.

 

[p4p1]

I fluctuate between phases of hyper focus and hyper distraction, but it's probably only to be expected. I've been able to get a fair bit of work done so that's good. I had to take my daughter to hospital last night and it looks like she'll be there another night. She's fine but between that and the grand final I'm no hope of maintaining focus on work, so I've put in for carers leave for the rest of the week. Best for everybody really.


Oh that sucks. All the best with that.

Doesn't sound like the best circumstances to make focusing on work easy tbh. I hope your daughter is better and out of the hospital.

I have a meeting with HR tomorrow which is making it harder to focus. Obviously I'm going to go with the ADHD defence but we will see how serious it gets. The accusation has been recorded wrongly so I don't know whether I speak about that or not. They won't give me much information until the meeting tomorrow which I think is unfair because I would like to know exactly what I am facing before I walk into it. I don't want to go in guns blazing to only find out they just wanted to have a quick chat, similarly I don't want to go in thinking they just want to have a quick chat. Don't know how much prep work to put in etc.
It's hard to not focus on it and do my job. I think the whole thing is being blown well out of proportion and the way it has been worded in the letter to me makes one allegation sound far worse than it is, and the second allegation which could've been the worse of the two doesn't make any sense at all.
Anyone else ever have to deal with HR because our brains often lead us to say the wrong thing at the wrong time?

 

[BrainOfMorbius]

Not had to deal with HR, but certainly pissed off the wrong people a few times.

All the best with HR, I hope it sorts itself out ok.

 

[Grasshopper17]

Doesn't sound like the best circumstances to make focusing on work easy tbh. I hope your daughter is better and out of the hospital.

I have a meeting with HR tomorrow which is making it harder to focus. Obviously I'm going to go with the ADHD defence but we will see how serious it gets. The accusation has been recorded wrongly so I don't know whether I speak about that or not. They won't give me much information until the meeting tomorrow which I think is unfair because I would like to know exactly what I am facing before I walk into it. I don't want to go in guns blazing to only find out they just wanted to have a quick chat, similarly I don't want to go in thinking they just want to have a quick chat. Don't know how much prep work to put in etc.
It's hard to not focus on it and do my job. I think the whole thing is being blown well out of proportion and the way it has been worded in the letter to me makes one allegation sound far worse than it is, and the second allegation which could've been the worse of the two doesn't make any sense at all.
Anyone else ever have to deal with HR because our brains often lead us to say the wrong thing at the wrong time?

How did your meeting go mate?

I used to put my foot in my mouth a fair bit when I was younger... fortunately I was working for pretty small companies tho who didn't have "HR departments". Or even "HR policies" for that matter!

Now thanks to covid I'm able to work from home which provides a pretty good filter between me and any inappropriate jokes. And office politics, which I have become increasingly good at avoiding.

 

[BrainOfMorbius]

p4p1 everything ok?

 

[p4p1]

p4p1 everything ok?

Yep everything is OK.
HR made a big deal out of what was really nothing in the end. My boss was on my side, defended me. HR lady was a cow though. I ended up with a warning. No biggie. Just moving on with it now, the person who reported me to HR came to apologise to me, apparently mentioned in passing to her boss that I made a slightly inappropriate joke around a new hire but had a chat to me and we talked it out. Her boss then told her she has to report it to HR. She worded it poorly in the letter, though I don't think that was intentional now. In her letter to HR she says that she doesn't want this taken any further but HR took it further anyway. I'm frustrated with HR.

I am trying out a new organisation strategy though, with multiple notebook for different aspects of my job. Anyone have much luck with staying organised?

 

[MSB ROYS]

I am trying out a new organisation strategy though, with multiple notebook for different aspects of my job. Anyone have much luck with staying organised?

I have had several senior roles over the years and I hope you don't mind me adding my thoughts. Although I juggle a lot of clients and tasks, I try to keep everything simple but organised.

1. Google calendar (or equivalent) of business meetings and important events that also get alerted to my computer and phone. Makes sure I don't miss meetings.

2. This one may not be for everyone but I physically print out a monthly calendar (each day has a box) where I write things down like holidays, key birthdays, travel dates, meetings, when I am paid, when PAYG is due, key bills, timing of Lions games etc. Some people would just utilize Google calendar and notes for this. I print out each page and keep it together in a foldback clip, which hangs near my desk. I have a few different highlighters to make reading similar tasks easier. I also use it record my billable hours and make brief notes to myself. I also mark the end of each day with a slash across the day box. It can become an invaluable tool to look back on for tax purposes (obviously in conjunction with other emails etc). At the end of the year, I scan each page for a digital record.

3. I always have a list of tasks to complete for the week or fortnight. These are a combination of easy, medium and challenging tasks. I tick them off as I do the tasks and scribble them out when the task is completed and also add/alter as I work. If I don't get through all of the tasks, I re-write them on the next week's list. I also have master lists of things to do (A4 size) in my business and life (family, health and house etc), which I rewrite on occasions. This is a way of ensuring tasks you don't want to do actually get done (eventually). Every week (or so) I reflect on what I achieved, decide what my re-prioritised objectives are and how this fits into my master list. Try and find some quiet and focused time to plan your week before you start working.

4. Again, this one may not be for everyone but I diligently keep the number of emails in my inbox to under 15, preferably 10, emails (both work and personal emails). I usually file emails into subfolders and delete spam/stupid admin emails. Remember if it's important, it's on your work list and you can always find the email to respond to.

5. Have specified folders for each job/project with recognisable file names, which are backed up on the cloud or hard drive each day. My work is writing based and I regularly save new versions of key documents etc.

Finally, if you are getting bombarded with new work tasks, tell your supervisor or clients that if you do this new task for them, it will have a cascading effect on other tasks. Having a clear understanding of your outstanding tasks helps to crystallise this in both your minds that these changes have real consequences for productivity and what this means to other tasks (can also cover your behind if things don't go so well). This is especially important when reporting to very busy people who only think about you and your job when they speak to you.

 

[Grasshopper17]

Finally, if you are getting bombarded with new work tasks, tell your supervisor or clients that if you do this new task for them, it will have a cascading effect on other tasks. Having a clear understanding of your outstanding tasks helps to crystallise this in both your minds that these changes have real consequences for productivity and what this means to other tasks (can also cover your behind if things don't go so well). This is especially important when reporting to very busy people who only think about you and your job when they speak to you.

This is so key. When I landed my first job straight out of uni at 22, I essentially reported to 3 superiors who each assigned me their own individual tasks. These 3 later became 6. Being young and inexperienced in the business world, I bit off more than I could chew all the time, and responded to every request with "yes sir, yes sir, 3 bags full". It resulted in working long hours and weekends, most of the time. And because I was getting through the work, it simply kept piling up.

It took my most of my 10 years there to learn the skill you've written about here, of how to say "no" without coming off rude or belligerent. By the end I would simply say to one of them, "righto, you want this done by Friday, person X also wants their job ABC done by Friday. You guys go talk with each other and figure out which one's more important, cos I can't do both at once".

Oddly enough, when I finally learnt how to do this properly, I became better at my work, enjoyed it more, and actually became more respected by my superiors as well.

But the pay was still rubbish (still is I'm told) so I got my 10 years up, took my long service leave and bolted