Harvey Manfrenjensenden
"Yuck"
- Oct 22, 2014
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On a recent holiday in the south of France, or Frankston as the less educated like to say it. I was strolling along the beach trying to avoid the syringes, when I almost tripped over something buried in the sand. I picked up what looked like an old oil lamp. I took it home and decided to give it a clean as I was sure I could flog it off on eBay for a tidy sum. As I was polishing it up the lamp began to shake the all of a sudden a genie appeared and offered me three wishes as a reward for setting her free.
For the record I rubbed her both the right way and the wrong way, just to be certain.
Knowing this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, I thought long and very hard about what my wishes would be.
"For my first wish I would like to improve my sex life. I've always wanted to try some of that kinky shit but I'm a bit shy" I said
And suddenly SM appeared. To say that I was disappointed is an understatement. Don't get me wrong, he's a handsome guy but not really my thing.
"that's not what I wished for" I said in a high pitched uncomfortable voice.
"Yes it is" replied the genie "all the whips and leather and stuff right?" She asked
"I think you mean S&M sweetheart" I replied frustrated.
"****" replied the genie. "Sorry about that, I promise I will do better next time"
"OK for my second wish I would like to be more connected with my football team, North Melbourne. I have a very good feeling about the next 5 years and I want to be closer to the action when we win a flag"
Suddenly ArdentEagle eagle appeared.
There was a long pause.
"First of all, who the **** is that idiot? And secondly how is an Eagles supporter supposed to get me closer to North Melbourne?"
She looked at me as if I was stupid, then replied with a smug look on her face "Ardent street honey, the home of Norf"
Now I'm not a violent man, especially when woman are involved but suffice to say, had I not had a wish remaining I'm not sure I would have been able to stop myself from giving her an old school slap across the face. However I clenched my tooth and mumbled "It's Arden street bitch, and don't call them Norf"
With 2 wishes wasted i decided to make my final wish quite specific in order to avoid any confusion.
"For my final wish I want a bigger dick."
"I want a dick so big Dirk Diggler would stop and say Damn that's a big dick"
And just like that...........
NaturalDisaster appeared.
Welcome to the Hawks.
For the record I rubbed her both the right way and the wrong way, just to be certain.
Knowing this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, I thought long and very hard about what my wishes would be.
"For my first wish I would like to improve my sex life. I've always wanted to try some of that kinky shit but I'm a bit shy" I said
And suddenly SM appeared. To say that I was disappointed is an understatement. Don't get me wrong, he's a handsome guy but not really my thing.
"that's not what I wished for" I said in a high pitched uncomfortable voice.
"Yes it is" replied the genie "all the whips and leather and stuff right?" She asked
"I think you mean S&M sweetheart" I replied frustrated.
"****" replied the genie. "Sorry about that, I promise I will do better next time"
"OK for my second wish I would like to be more connected with my football team, North Melbourne. I have a very good feeling about the next 5 years and I want to be closer to the action when we win a flag"
Suddenly ArdentEagle eagle appeared.
There was a long pause.
"First of all, who the **** is that idiot? And secondly how is an Eagles supporter supposed to get me closer to North Melbourne?"
She looked at me as if I was stupid, then replied with a smug look on her face "Ardent street honey, the home of Norf"
Now I'm not a violent man, especially when woman are involved but suffice to say, had I not had a wish remaining I'm not sure I would have been able to stop myself from giving her an old school slap across the face. However I clenched my tooth and mumbled "It's Arden street bitch, and don't call them Norf"
With 2 wishes wasted i decided to make my final wish quite specific in order to avoid any confusion.
"For my final wish I want a bigger dick."
"I want a dick so big Dirk Diggler would stop and say Damn that's a big dick"
And just like that...........
NaturalDisaster appeared.
Welcome to the Hawks.
