- Banned
- #1
Bartender asks; “Why the long face..?”
Tom replies;
Last edited:
-
Mobile App Discontinued
Due to a number of factors, support for the current BigFooty mobile app has been discontinued. Your BigFooty login will no longer work on the Tapatalk or the BigFooty App - which is based on Tapatalk.
Apologies for any inconvenience. We will try to find a replacement.
TOM LYNCH walks into a bar..
- Thread starter HAPPY CHEFFY
- Start date
- Tagged users None
🥰 Love BigFooty? Join now for free.
Bartender asks; “Why the long face..?”
Tom replies;
- Thread starter
- Banned
- #2
“The AA I wanted isn’t a group for problem drinkers.”
“I’m not a horse I’m more of a jackass”
“We don’t get to play at the MCG this week”
“I’m not a horse I’m more of a jackass”
“We don’t get to play at the MCG this week”
And forgets their seniors card
Log in to remove this Banner Ad
- Thread starter
- Banned
- #6
- Thread starter
- Banned
- #8
Presumptuous. How many does Jackie kick?
- Banned
- #10
Tom Hawkins walks into a bar.. causes an 8.3 earthquake and a tsunami.
Bont2Bruce
Ready to rumble
- Mar 15, 2012
- 12,117
- 28,030
- AFL Club
- Western Bulldogs
- Other Teams
- Footscray, Melbourne City
... has a seat and notices a huge jar on the counter full of hot dogs. He asks the bartender what it's all about.
Bartender tells him, "Well we have this bar challenge. To win the prize you must first fight our bouncer and win."
Tom looks toward the door and notices the bouncer is this huge MMA looking tough-as-nails badass.
The bartender continues, "The second part of the challenge is to go out back where there is a stray pitbull that's mean as hell and has a sore tooth. You must pull the sore tooth from the pitbull's mouth. The third and final part of the challenge is to go into our backroom and **ck Bertha. Bertha is a retired whore, about 160 kg and has every STD known to man. If you complete all three challenges the hot dogs are yours."
Bewildered, Tom says "Wow, that's crazy, no thanks".
After 2 or 3 hours of drinking, Tom starts thinking about how he could really use the hot dogs in that jar. He's falling down drunk and decides he is going to go for it.
"Heeeeyyy Bartendderer... here I gooo... those sausages are MIIINE!"
Tom walks over to the MMA-type bouncer and knocks him out with one punch to the jaw.
Then he proceeds to stagger out the back door where the pitbull is waiting. The bartender hears screaming and yelping followed by ungodly wails from the dog outside. Literally the most terrifying and horrible dog noises he's ever heard.
After about 10 minutes Tom stumbles back into the bar. His clothes are shredded and bloody. He looks like he's been fighting a wood-chipper.
Tom stumbles over to the bartender with big stupid grin on his face and says "ALRIGHT, NOW WHERE'S THAT FAT WHORE WITH THE SORE TOOTH?"
Bartender tells him, "Well we have this bar challenge. To win the prize you must first fight our bouncer and win."
Tom looks toward the door and notices the bouncer is this huge MMA looking tough-as-nails badass.
The bartender continues, "The second part of the challenge is to go out back where there is a stray pitbull that's mean as hell and has a sore tooth. You must pull the sore tooth from the pitbull's mouth. The third and final part of the challenge is to go into our backroom and **ck Bertha. Bertha is a retired whore, about 160 kg and has every STD known to man. If you complete all three challenges the hot dogs are yours."
Bewildered, Tom says "Wow, that's crazy, no thanks".
After 2 or 3 hours of drinking, Tom starts thinking about how he could really use the hot dogs in that jar. He's falling down drunk and decides he is going to go for it.
"Heeeeyyy Bartendderer... here I gooo... those sausages are MIIINE!"
Tom walks over to the MMA-type bouncer and knocks him out with one punch to the jaw.
Then he proceeds to stagger out the back door where the pitbull is waiting. The bartender hears screaming and yelping followed by ungodly wails from the dog outside. Literally the most terrifying and horrible dog noises he's ever heard.
After about 10 minutes Tom stumbles back into the bar. His clothes are shredded and bloody. He looks like he's been fighting a wood-chipper.
Tom stumbles over to the bartender with big stupid grin on his face and says "ALRIGHT, NOW WHERE'S THAT FAT WHORE WITH THE SORE TOOTH?"
Jazny
Brownlow Medallist
- Nov 2, 2014
- 24,043
- 42,723
- AFL Club
- Tasmania
- Other Teams
- #TeamTurboChooks
He is not particularly good to look at.
Bont2Bruce
Ready to rumble
- Mar 15, 2012
- 12,117
- 28,030
- AFL Club
- Western Bulldogs
- Other Teams
- Footscray, Melbourne City
True, guess he doesn't have the pointiest head ever made.
- Banned
- #16
Tom Hawkins rolls into a bar..
..the bartender says 'would you like a beer'? Tom Hawkins says 'I'll start with the mixed grill'..
..the bartender says 'would you like a beer'? Tom Hawkins says 'I'll start with the mixed grill'..
- Banned
- #17
- Thread starter
- Banned
- #18
- Thread starter
- Banned
- #19
🥰 Love BigFooty? Join now for free.
- Aug 8, 2010
- 7,721
- 6,831
- AFL Club
- Richmond
- Banned
- #20
that bar can't have been higher then the West Gate without him knocking his head 
Last edited:
- Thread starter
- Banned
- #21
…sexually assaults a woman..?
…stabs a woman with a chopstick..?
…steals a woman’s purse and tries to buy kebabs with her bank card..?
- Aug 12, 2015
- 17,837
- 31,433
- AFL Club
- Geelong
- Other Teams
- Toronto Raptors - Maple Leafs
Dusty Martin walks into a bar and thinks hes Jordan DeGoey
- Jul 22, 2013
- 18,823
- 27,492
- AFL Club
- Carlton
Tom Lynch walks into a bar and says
Is this the place where you get the cheap shots?
Is this the place where you get the cheap shots?
Elmer_Hauser
Melbourne City FC -Australia's GOAT Sokkah Team
Lachie Hunter walks into a bar
Forgets he is the designated driver
Forgets he is the designated driver
