Autopsy Vice Sports AFL Rd 5 Review

[Old Spice]

Amish barns, the original crazy clown, PT Barnum, Dwayne's logical fallacies, Bucks & the Repo Man, ding-dong - it's Alex. All in the round 5 AFL Review in Vice.

At the North/Suns game were observed some amazing acrobatics, both verbal and physical. Derm informed us with inescapable iron logic that slo-mo takes longer, finally knocking that ages old controversy into a cocked hat. Lonergan astounded with something old too with a baulk and spin – something not seen since PT Barnum stalked the dustbowls of America. The mini-Goldstein, Michael Firrito, was having an ordinary time of it as was a frustrated Tom Lynch who was being smothered by super-pest Scott Thompson like a fire blanket. It was then that the bald monk, little Baby Jesus, offered Thompson a remedial lower back shiatsu knee massage.

Rocket had coached Jarrad Grant at the Dogs and Grant clearly entered the Suns disguised as a mysterious Amish drifter and shed builder. Unfortunately Amish couldn't hit the side of an enormous Pennsylvanian barn door with a handball. Ben Brown, the original crazy clown, got into the act and Derm told us that Saad's 7 or 8 year old brother 'smelt very good.' Hmmm. A Dwayne/Dermott combo is hard to beat and much gold is delivered. Dwayne noted '2 metre Peter has no one in front of him' except Lynch and Rischitelli as the people with eyeballs could attest. But I prefer Dwayne's logical fallacies, like 'found a gap where there was none'. Derm thought that it would be better if mids running forward used their 'viewfinder'. To me it's unprofessional to look at 3D dinosaurs and Swiss mountains while playing football, classical lairising – but I'm not a 5 day/5 night premiership player. By the end, North were rolling Gold Coast into a sludge pond and not even an Andrew WK blood mo to Tarrant could deny them. Top of the table, for now.

https://sports.vice.com/en_au/article/the-spew-selwood-vs-a-hessian-sack-full-of-bandicoots