What do you guys think?

[carlyp]

Last year my parents split up and my dad moved out. Shortly after I found out that my Dad had been having an affair with my Mums best friend.
Anyway my sister goes to WA on Monday for the whole summer (she'll be working over there) and my dad has decided to fly to Sydney to meet up with his girlfriend (my mums ex best friend) cause she is flying in from Canada (she's been on a little holiday, nice for some!) hence he wont beable to see my sister off and see her before she goes.
Personally I think this is terrible. I really believe that he should be waiting around here till my sister flys off. They wont see each other for 2-3 months. I feel bloody angry at this!
My question too all of you guys is: Do you think he should have waited and said goodbye to my sister? What would you have done?

 

[Portia]

How old is your sister?

Edit: Working? Old enough then. I'd hope she'd would be a bit realistic and not get upset over it. The difference between now and Monday is insignificant when she's nicked off for three months anyway.

 

[sabre_ac]

Where in perth is she staying?
Is she a decent sort?

 

[carlyp]

Originally posted by Porthos
How old is your sister?

Edit: Working? Old enough then. I'd hope she'd would be a bit realistic and not get upset over it. The difference between now and Monday is insignificant when she's nicked off for three months anyway.

She's 18
I suppose I should have added that she and I live in Hobart for uni so she doesnt really get to see him much now as it is and she wont have a chance to leave for Launceston earlier cause she has exams till Saturday!

 

[carlyp]

Originally posted by sabre_ac
Where in perth is she staying?
Is she a decent sort?

Trust you Sabre-AC

No way is she going to be hanging around with a dockers fan!

LOL, she's going to be in the Wheatbelt so she'll be far far away from Perth!

 

[sabre_ac]

Originally posted by carlyp
Trust you Sabre-AC

No way is she going to be hanging around with a dockers fan!

LOL, she's going to be in the Wheatbelt so she'll be far far away from Perth!

Hey I am prepared to make a day trip to show her around this fine state of MINE

 

[Stevo]

I think you are already angry with your father, so you are looking for anything else that you can use for spite.

 

[Au_Blue#24]

Originally posted by sabre_ac
Hey I am prepared to make a day trip to show her around this fine state of MINE

you're just hoping she'll show you her map of tassie

 

[carlyp]

Originally posted by Stevo
I think you are already angry with your father, so you are looking for anything else that you can use for spite.

And you wouldnt be angry if your father had done the same thing to you?

 

[mandy]

Originally posted by carlyp
And you wouldnt be angry if your father had done the same thing to you?

To you?? What exactly did he do to you? It seems to me he didn't want to be with your mum anymore, and although he made a bad choice to move on with, this has nothing to do with you or your sister. He's an adult and made an adult decision to move on. It has nothing to do with you or your sister.

Would you have prefered your parents to stay together unhappily for you? Grow up and move on. **** happens, and as much as it's not your fault, it's neither your right to expect your parents to continue a life just to make you feel stable and happy.

 

[carlyp]

Originally posted by mandy5
To you?? What exactly did he do to you? It seems to me he didn't want to be with your mum anymore, and although he made a bad choice to move on with, this has nothing to do with you or your sister. He's an adult and made an adult decision to move on. It has nothing to do with you or your sister.

Would you have prefered your parents to stay together unhappily for you? Grow up and move on. **** happens, and as much as it's not your fault, it's neither your right to expect your parents to continue a life just to make you feel stable and happy.

What exactly did he do to me? Lets see he made my life unbearable, he wont sort anything out with my Mother as far as a settlement goes. He constantly threatens to kick us out of our own home. He constantly leaves my mother with no money so she cant even afford to buy food with! Then when you want to go to a solicitor he takes your car off you and cuts your phone off so you cant go! He threatens to kill me, my mother and my sister if we EVER go to a solicitor or cops about it!
You saying it has nothing to do with me or my sister is crap! It always has something to do with the kids when two parents split up! It mightnt be intended to be that way but it always is! LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING! IT ****ING HURTS!
When he rings you telling you he's going to make sure your mother gets nothing. OH NO He's doing NOTHING to me or my sister is he?

Dont EVER tell me that I should just get over it because I wont till he leaves me alone and does the right thing by my Mother and my sister!
No I wouldnt want my parents to stay together and be unhappy. But if a divorce is going to happen then should it not be as ammicable and pain free as possible? Instead of being 18 months of emotional physcological physical abuse?, which is what my mother, my sister and my life has been for the last 18 months.
Perhaps you should make sure you know the whole story before you go thinking......Poor little darling, her parents have got a divorce and she is taking it all out on daddy!

 

[P_D]

Carly, no need to get feisty about it... if you don't post the "whole story" outright, then of course people are going to make uninformed judgements...


THat said, I can completely empathise, my dad left my mum, me, my brother and sister when I was five years old, and left us with absolutely nothing... living in rural NSW, t'was kinda hard for my mum to find a job, so we ended up moving in with her parents, and it's been that way since...

If you sister's making a life-altering move, then I think its your right to be disappointed but as mandy said, he's an adult and has made his decisions accordingly, whether they be morally right or not...

I dunno, although I can empathise, I really don't see a need for an outburst, as there are more people going through the exact same thing than you may think...

Edit: Plus, it's only been a year, hasn't it? Things are probably still re-settling...

 

[carlyp]

Carly, no need to get feisty about it... if you don't post the "whole story" outright, then of course people are going to make uninformed judgements...

I know I just get fired up when people tell me to get over it!


THat said, I can completely empathise, my dad left my mum, me, my brother and sister when I was five years old, and left us with absolutely nothing... living in rural NSW, t'was kinda hard for my mum to find a job, so we ended up moving in with her parents, and it's been that way since...

Well then you can understand that it totally bites. Its worse when your parents have accrued a very substantial lot of assets and your father has taken it all and is refusing to give your Mother any of which she deserves 50% because she has been working in the family business since day 1!

If you sister's making a life-altering move, then I think its your right to be disappointed but as mandy said, he's an adult and has made his decisions accordingly, whether they be morally right or not...

Its not a life altering move. She's going to WA for the Summer. She'll be back in February. I know that its his decision and all that but I just cant believe that he wouldnt want to see his own daughter off when he wont see her till February when she'll be going straight back to uni!

I dunno, although I can empathise, I really don't see a need for an outburst, as there are more people going through the exact same thing than you may think...

I know. I can accept that and I am sorry for the outburst but geez I just get so downright angry with the world sometimes!

 

[otaku]

get over it.

move out. go see a shrink.get over it

 

[sabre_ac]

Originally posted by Au_Blue#24
you're just hoping she'll show you her map of tassie

The thought never crossed my mind....

 

[carlyp]

Originally posted by otaku
get over it.

move out. go see a shrink.get over it

Jerk!

 

[bunsen burner]

Get over it.

Consenting adults have affairs, fall out of love, fall in love, split up, divorce, marry, etc

What makes you think that your parents should be any different?

 

[bunsen burner]

You're also expecting your dad to revolve his whole life around his two adult daughters. You're acting spoilt and childish.

 

[Altum Volantes]

Originally posted by sabre_ac
The thought never crossed my mind....

Exactly - why would sabre want to know anything about Tasmania when he lives in the great state of WA ?

 

[carlyp]

Re: Re: What do you guys think?

Originally posted by bunsen burner
Get over it.

Consenting adults have affairs, fall out of love, fall in love, split up, divorce, marry, etc

What makes you think that your parents should be any different?

FOr christ sake do I have to repeat myself over and over again!

I said in a previous post. I know that ppl divorce and stuff and although its sad its the way life is. But surely the act of divorce and settlement should be as ammicable as possible. Surely the act of divorce and settlement should not be withheld from one partner just because the other partner is greedy and doesnt want to split with half the assets!

 

[carlyp]

Originally posted by bunsen burner
You're also expecting your dad to revolve his whole life around his two adult daughters. You're acting spoilt and childish.

No. Im expecting him to be decent and considerate about our needs seeings were not allowed to get on with our own lives!
Do you have no compassion?

 

[bunsen burner]

Originally posted by carlyp
Jerk!

If you didn't want honest feedback, you shouldn't have asked.

What is the point of asking other's opinions when you already know which one's you will accept and which ones you won't?

 

[bunsen burner]

Re: Re: Re: What do you guys think?

Originally posted by carlyp
Surely the act of divorce and settlement should not be withheld from one partner just because the other partner is greedy and doesnt want to split with half the assets!

What's this got to do with your Dad not seeing your sister off?

Possibly your judgement could be biased from your resentment to your dad.

 

[bunsen burner]

Originally posted by carlyp
No. Im expecting him to be decent and considerate about our needs seeings were not allowed to get on with our own lives!

What needs? What if he was working - would you still need him then? I don't think you're thinking rationally.

What do you mean get on with your own lives? Build a bridge, get over it, move on.

Do you have no compassion?

Logic and reason encompasses compassion, but compassion doesn't encompass logic and reason.

 

[KiNgCliVe26]

Well IMO (please don't take offence) your old mans a ****. And he should of waited for your sister instead of going off with your mums "freind" who i beleive to be a total whorebag.