World's funniest joke?

[Bomber Spirit]

Watson : Where do lemons come from?
Holmes : A lemon tree, my dear Watson.

Q: If you keep wine in wine cellars, where do you keep knives?
A: In Monica Seles.

 

[SMW]

Originally posted by Dippers Donuts
Apparently a university researcher in the UK is doing an on line study to find the world's funniest joke.

So far, this is winning...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson are going camping. They pitch their tent under the stars and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson up. "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce." Watson says, "I see millions of stars and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." Holmes replied: "Watson, you idiot, somebody stole our tent!"

Hmmm...not bad, although I haven't exactly split my shorts!!

It's a British joke. What did you expect!

 

[ian_rocks]

My favourite joke

Q. Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
A. The Wheelchair

 

[BomberBoy]

Originally posted by brampta


Isn't it something like:

"What do you do when you see a spaceman?"
"Park, man"

Yeh its better when its said out loud, won't make sense when ya write it down.

"what happens when you see a space--man?"

"Park your car, MAN."

 

[Dippers Donuts]

Re: My favourite joke

Originally posted by ian_rocks
Q. Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
A. The Wheelchair

That's brutal!!

Heres a good 'un;

One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."

Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."