Certified Legendary Thread Awkward Flirting Stories

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Nate7 said:
I should put in my own update - I will no longer be putting forward my own AFS as I'm settling/settled down and yes with someone from one of my AFS.
I do however have some gold stories worthy of entry into this thread, although, not my own experiences, rather a "mates" story or two.
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"mates" that old chestnut I see........... :D
 
Gibbsy said:
Learnt a lot from my experiences a couple of years ago and I've never looked back. All is well in the world
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You're only 19 though, aren't you?
 

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Nate7 said:
You're only 19 though, aren't you?
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Correct. And I never actually go home with people from clubs, it's usually just a couple of hooks with a couple of different girls then I'm catching a taxi home, hence the lack of AFS – does that sort of thing happen around the 20-24 age bracket or what?
 
Gibbsy said:
Correct. And I never actually go home with people from clubs, it's usually just a couple of hooks with a couple of different girls then I'm catching a taxi home, hence the lack of AFS – does that sort of thing happen around the 20-24 age bracket or what?
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Am I the only one that read that as 'hookers'?
 
Here's a good one. Went out in Northbridge the other night with a few friends, male and female and then one or two hangers on. We're all 18/19, and we wanted to get this one guy in our group at least one hook. He's "that guy", everyone knows that guy who is a little seedy looking, wears the baggiest jeans possible with his best joggers out to a club sort of guy. Great guy, very little style and even less "game" if you will. But anyway, we're all pissed as, and me and a friend (female) try to go around getting him in with certain groups of people. This proves unsuccessful as he would go up to the group and dance awkwardly around them before they noticed and moved away. He didn't care, he was drunk. Anyway, we eventually sort of violently push him into a girl and we think (s**t, she's going to be pissed that we/he spilled her drink", quite the contrary, she invites him to dance with her and her friends. She was a 7, and we think, yes, finally got him someone. They dance, and as they're getting progressively more intimate (no kissing at this stage), she finishes her drink, leans into his ear and says, "sorry, I'm actually married".

We only hear this part of the story when he comes up to the bar we were at and tells us, and I swear to god she would not have been much older than we were. Maybe we were just that drunk. But fair to say we lost our s**t and he was pissed off, got a taxi home.
 
I'll take your word for it man, but i've seen it used plenty of times (by a few girls I know also).

Generally speaking most of them weren't married.
 
Jimmy1992 said:
See, I don't understand this sort of mentality. I have never been pissed off if I haven't hooked in with a girl at a club. If all you are doing is going to a club to pick up then you are setting yourself up for a bad time.
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Maybe pissed off is the wrong way to put it, disappointed is better.

I don't enjoy going out to a club to just dance, for me, and the majority of my friends, the whole night is better if we "pull". That sounds bad, but it's true.
 

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Jimmy1992 said:
See, I don't understand this sort of mentality. I have never been pissed off if I haven't hooked in with a girl at a club. If all you are doing is going to a club to pick up then you are setting yourself up for a bad time.
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Unfortunately I am so deformed and disfigured that I have to rely on dark nightclubs to actually go three hours of public interaction without a grimace, recoil, or "what's with your head?"

To me, this is as good as any hook-up and Sunday lunchtime "so how'd you pull up?" text conversation. Other men have that. I have something better.
 
Clint Beastwood said:
Maybe pissed off is the wrong way to put it, disappointed is better.

I don't enjoy going out to a club to just dance, for me, and the majority of my friends, the whole night is better if we "pull". That sounds bad, but it's true.
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Don't get me wrong, the night is definitely better if you pull. I never said it wasn't :p But, it's a double edged sword. You go out specifically to pull and 2 things happen;
1. You get shitty when it doesn't happen
2. You come off looking desperate as *.
In my opinion, and the opinion of girls I know, you are a much better chance if you are just there to enjoy yourself. I'm not saying I don't look for it, and when I'm out, I do. I'm a ******* fiend. However, I go out to spend some time drinking and dancing with friends. If I pull, it's a bonus, a quality bonus, but not necessarily what I base my night around.

Silent Alarm said:
Unfortunately I am so deformed and disfigured that I have to rely on dark nightclubs to actually go three hours of public interaction without a grimace, recoil, or "what's with your head?"

To me, this is as good as any hook-up and Sunday lunchtime "so how'd you pull up?" text conversation. Other men have that. I have something better.
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I am happy for you :hearts:
 
Jimmy1992 said:
Don't get me wrong, the night is definitely better if you pull. I never said it wasn't :p But, it's a double edged sword. You go out specifically to pull and 2 things happen;
1. You get shitty when it doesn't happen
2. You come off looking desperate as ****.
In my opinion, and the opinion of girls I know, you are a much better chance if you are just there to enjoy yourself. I'm not saying I don't look for it, and when I'm out, I do. I'm a ******* fiend. However, I go out to spend some time drinking and dancing with friends. If I pull, it's a bonus, a quality bonus, but not necessarily what I base my night around.
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Despite my head that has rendered my physical appearance a health hazard and comes with a police escort if I have to walk near a school, I am the best dancer this side of the Barassi. A young Silent Alarm can be seen, post-hook, asking "so what footy club ya support?" after he's done the 'mack in the mouth, phone in the right... mack while unlocking phone, keep macking while drunkenly finding 'add to contacts,' then present her the option as though she doesn't have a choice.' Despite women getting with me so they can claim they got with a freak, I do agree.

You go out to sink a few, hang out, have a laugh (some seriously hilarious elements of the human condition are exposed on nights out – at 3am, we revert to our most primitive stage. I love it), hopefully pull some birds... I don't really care when I get doughnuts from King Streets finest (in actuality some of them might as well be the Kalgoorlie Railways Reserves they're so ugly – don't these clubs have bloody door policies?), but it's always good to have them for the anecdote when you stumble out at 3am and have the old catch-up.

"How many you get?" is a phrase I believe pondered by both Kant and Nietzsche.
 
getthefooty said:
I think there's a time in every man's life when he realises hooking a 6/10 at Tramp at 4am on a Sunday morning doesn't actually achieve much in the grand scheme of things
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Pretty much the definition of mediocrity. I remember clubbing when it was this exciting thing, you'd look forward to it and it seemed a mystical land of $9 stubbies. Then you hit 20 and you do it for something to do and a hope you'll find someone okay. Except you don't. It's 2:30 and she's not the first but she's definitely no better than the last. This is cancerous cycle of An Adult Life.

Then I look at my bulbous head and think...
 
Colin D'Cops said:
Were da bitches @
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HAHAHAHAHA...I have an image in my head of the type of person that says this. I'd likely be banned if I made that thought public! :D
 
Silent Alarm said:
Pretty much the definition of mediocrity. I remember clubbing when it was this exciting thing, you'd look forward to it and it seemed a mystical land of $9 stubbies. Then you hit 20 and you do it for something to do and a hope you'll find someone okay. Except you don't. It's 2:30 and she's not the first but she's definitely no better than the last. This is cancerous cycle of An Adult Life.

Then I look at my bulbous head and think...
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I'm twice your age and would struggle to describe myself as an adult. You seriously need to lighten up.
 
Silent Alarm said:
Unfortunately I am so deformed and disfigured that I have to rely on dark nightclubs to actually go three hours of public interaction without a grimace, recoil, or "what's with your head?"

To me, this is as good as any hook-up and Sunday lunchtime "so how'd you pull up?" text conversation. Other men have that. I have something better.
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...reading this reminds me of something somewhere else that I cant put my finger on....


Wait...

hbo-girls-lena-dunham.jpg
 
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