Entertainment & Music The Simpsons Part 3

[Kram]

“Lisa, what nineteenth century figure was nicknamed ‘Old Hickory?'”
“I don’t know. You?”

“Lisa, if you’d bothered to do the assignment, you’d know the answer is… ‘The Battle of New Orleans.’ I mean, ‘Andrew Jackson.'”

“Well, you’re earning your eighteen grand a year.”

 

[RobbieGray17]

No i dont want any stringbeans you two timing backstabb!

 

[RippaRiley43]

Homer: I got the job! I GOT THE JOB! Woo hoo! Only in America could I get a job!
(Homer skips out of the room)
Mr Burns: Who was that young hellcat, Smithers?
Smithers: Homer Simpson, sir.
Mr Burns: Simpson, eh? I'll remember that name...

 

[Cory]

 

[Captain Awkward]

Salesman: Well, I can't give you the car, Krusty. But I can let you have this little number for practically nothing. Only $38,000.

Homer: Hey, what are all these holes?
Salesman: Speed holes. They make the car go faster.
Homer: Oh, yeah. Speed holes.
Salesman: You want my advice? I think you should buy this car.

Ned: What you diddily doing, neighbor?
Homer: I'm putting speed holes in my car. Makes it go faster.

Ned: Is that so? Well, gee, maybe the old Flanders-mobile could use-
(Ned gets shot)
Ned: Wow, lucky I always keep a Bible close to my heart-
(Ned gets shot again)
Ned: Lucky I was wearing this extra large piece of the true cross today. I think I'll go inside.

 

[Kram]

“Lisa, we can’t afford all these books.”
“Bart, we’re just gonna borrow them.”
“Oh, heh heh, gotcha.”

 

[WeetBixKid]

Dentist: ... And finally, aged 18:

 

[Kram]

Lisa needs braces!

 

[Kram]

 

[the bee sharps]

 

[Captain Awkward]

Rangemaster: Well, since you attended public school I'm going to assume you're already proficient with small arms so we'll start you off with something a little more advanced.

Rangemaster: Four out of five, Simpson. Impressive. But you missed your last target.
Bart: Did I?

Cadet Leader: You're a born soldier, Simpson. Too bad it doesn't run in your family.

Lisa: Um, could someone help me? It's stuck on auto fire.
Rangemaster: Maybe you should just learn to use this.
(Hands Lisa a whistle)
Rangemaster: If there's a war, just blow on it and I'll come help you.

 

[Bosun]

Homer: Well, he's got all the money in the world, but there's one thing he can't buy.
Marge: What's that?
Homer: ..................................................A dinosaur!



And one of the greatest pics in Simpsons history:

 

[Kram]

It’s got some cigarette burns, but we can patch em up with new vinyl.

 

[Kram]

Now they’ll never save your brain, Hitler!

 

[Big Sauce 21]

 

[Demonalke]

And I'm sure he'll make a GRAND piano!

 

[Big Sauce 21]

 

[Big Sauce 21]

 

[Kram]

Men, there’s a little crippled boy sitting in a hospital who wants you to win this game. I know because I crippled him myself to inspire you.

I hope they win, or Mr Burns said he’s coming back.

 

[the bee sharps]

Maude: Neddy I've had about all I can take of Homer Simpson's torso. I'll get some hot dogs.
Ned: No foot-longs
Maude: I know, they make you uncomfortable.

 

[Kram]

“Homer, are all these pockets necessary?”
“They wouldn’t be if you were willing to sit in a hollowed out wheelchair.”

 

[Cruyff14]

 

[Kram]

If word gets out about this, Crazy Clown Airlines will be a laughing stock.

 

[two up]

Today on "Ben": mothers and runaway daughters reunited by their hatred of Homer Simpson. And here's your host, Gentle Ben.

 

[Kram]