Awkward/embarrassing stories

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Risky business Plugger. Stick to greyhounds and sinking pies IMO.
 
Remembered this one from a couple of years ago
. Sitting with my grandma (now deceased :( ) at her house
. Some news things about the royal family comes on
. Grandma says "That Prince Phillip (I think it was), even though he's 90 he's still very sexy don't you think?"
. I'm thinking "WTF aren't you a bit old to be thinking like that" and "I wouldn't have a clue"
. Not sure what to say there is an awkward silence

God bless her but she did go a bit kooky in her last couple of years
 

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Not awkward for me, but at someone's birthday during the singing of Happy Birthday, I try and lead the "hip-hip"s. The catch is, I only say 2 "hip-hip"s
E.g.
Hip hip!
Hooray!
Hip hip!
Hooray!
<silence>
Hoo-rerrrr, um....
 
I have a doozy- I was watching Team America- World Police with some of my friends and before the infamous puppet sex scene my mother happens to walk past and inquire what the movie is.

She goes "Oh, I'll just watch a bit of this" and watches the puppet sex scene with me.

End of the scene, she stands up and goes "Jeez, I didn't realise puppets were that flexible".

Awkward, my friends used to remind of this all the time
 
LouisCK said:
Our clubbing one night with some friends and my little sister and her friends are there. One of her friends is giving me the eye and we get to chatting, she wants to hook up but doesnt want my sister to find out. I tell her to meet me out front in 30 minutes, she does.

We go back to mine (still living with the parents) and she climbs in the window to my room, and we start doing the deed.

Clearly we were making a bit of noise and hte old man just waltzes in to check out whats going on, and I've got this chick o all fours, head pointing directly at the doorway. I'm so drunk that it takes a few seconds ot register what is happening, and for some reason, I don't stop. Just pump away while the old man has the funniest ******* look on his face, he rushes to shut the door and kind of yells/cries "Oh s**t! Jesus!".

The girl is mortified at this development as she obviously knows my parents, agian, this doesn't deter me and I keep going. I finish, she leaves via the window and I never saw her again.

Breakfast conversation with the folks was interesting though.
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You deserve the medal
 
Yellow Feathers said:
I was 16 and banging my high school girlfriend in my bedroom after school one arvo. The old girl was at the shops so I thought we'd have time to get a quicky in...

All of a sudden I heard my mother open the front door to the house (she must have ninja-d the car into the driveway). I quickened my pace, finished up and pulled my clothes on- leaving the condom on my dick. My thought process at the time was "I'll just act like everything is normal for a little while and dispose of it later".

Later that night (approx. 2 hours later) and after my girlfriend had gone home, I walked into the kitchen to see my mother holding up a used, floppy, load-filled condom in her hands- her expression one of shock and disgust. Her only words: "What is this?!?"
Me: "Arrrgghhh... Arrrggh... We were given them at school today and I was just playing around with it".

Turns out that I forgot that I had left the condom attached, and it had fallen off in the kitchen of all places. My own mum was holding a floppy used condom- full of my sperm (the outside coated with my girlfriend) in her bare hands.

Never felt more embarrassed and awkward in my life. I still haven't quite come to terms with it... Thank god it has never been brought up.
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I have a similar-ish story.

When I was still living at home, and my parents were on holidays for a few weeks, I was still driving my mum's car around, and revelling in the fact I didn't have to share it with her. Anyway, I'd been driving to and fro to my girlfriend's place, around half an hour away, and a few days after my parents got back, my mum reminded that I'd "left something of mine in her car" and that it was in my underwear draw.

I went in to have a look and found my lost box of condoms.
 
Stratton_Gun said:
So glad I found this thread again

Anyone ever done this? Hella awks

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Happened to me a few times. Nothing funny about it, just plain awkward.

Xtreme said:
What about when you think someone is waving at you but they are waving at someone that's behind you
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I've had the opposite happen to me when someone was waving at me but I assumed they were waving at someone else.
 
At subway, I had been served and waiting in line (Was quite busy and populated) for the sub to finish toasting. Attractive woman serving asks me what time I finished work and where should we meet up later on.... (heart racing) so i gave my answer of about 4pm and I said i'll give you my number so we can arrange it to realize there's her friend standing behind me....

Single for another 5 years
 
Igloo said:
Tonight, going for a late night walk around my neighbourhood as I often do (around 11:30), I experienced a bit of awkwardness.
Since no one is ever around, I was just walking along sort of silently singing while I listened to my ipod. So as i'm doing my silent singing, I look up and see a pretty hot girl around my age looking at me, and she began to giggle.

Was pretty shattered.
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I do this often as well and have been caught atleast 10 times singing along to my ipod by people walking past i don't see. Worst was when 2 girls caught me singing a david bowie song, they laughed pretty loud.
 

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crownie said:
I do this often as well and have been caught atleast 10 times singing along to my ipod by people walking past i don't see. Worst was when 2 girls caught me singing a david bowie song, they laughed pretty loud.
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That's only embarrassing if it was Tin Machine tune. Man, those albums sucked.
 
When I was still living with my parents, our dog would visit everyone in their rooms when he was let in daily. Anyway, one day I was at work, and the dog went into my room expecting to see me there. He didn't, so he started sniffing around. He then went to my parents room, where my dad was lying on the bed watching TV. Dog got up on the bed, and dropped a used condom in front of him.

Came home from work that night, mum and dad were in the kitchen and they just started laughing at me and I instantly knew what was up. I now do a thorough clean-up post-sechs.
 
-Few years ago thought I was home alone
-I wasn't. Sister was home but sleeping
- Had the music channel up high so I could here it all through out the house
- "Baby got back" came on
- It's one of the few songs apart from old skool slim shady that I can sing/know all the words to
- Start rapping it in time with the music
- Sister must have heard as I went past her room and says "nice singing"
-Awkssssssssss


Looking back, probably more embarrassing stuff could have happened considering I wrongly thought I was home alone
 
The only awkward story that really comes to mind:

I got super drunk one night after a gig and was chatting with a chick I was fairly keen on from my High School days.

We go back to my place and mack on for a bit, things start getting a bit steamier and I figure it's time I start progressing this thing naturally... Fast forward to me knuckle deep in this chick's butthole, she's looking at me with a look that screams both "Do Not Want!" and "Wrong Hole!"

I start apologising profusely etc. She says it's okay, and from here I recognise that the night is still probably salvagable. I leave to go and get her a drink of water only to never return... She finds me the next morning passed out in the hallway.

I'm pretty sure she's into chicks now. No joke.
 
Gotta get this off my chest. Stayed at a friends place when I was 17 after a party. Was pissed and was grinding sheilas all night. I passed out in his spare bed waiting for snu snu (she must have left :( ) woke up about 6am still half drunk and I had a wet dream. sheets ****ed jizz everywhere. So I wiped most off and went into thinking mode how I could improvise out of the situation. So I went to his pantry, got that cheese and cracker s**t out and spilt it throughout the bed so it looked like that instead. Don't know what happened coz I never asked nor did he ask me.
 
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