Certified Legendary Thread Awkward Flirting Stories

Remove this Banner Ad

Status
Not open for further replies.
Stop pressuring him Esme.

He'll find a nice Wandin Valley girl.

Like Jo, she's still pretty hot btw.

420-josephine-mitchell-420x0.jpg
 

Log in to remove this ad.

IschenkoUBeauty said:
Got a message before from the same sheila before saying she has a proposition for me...that I own her now.

WTF. :D

Then I asked what the hell she meant by that. She then invited me out somewhere tonight to which I replied I was busy (which I actually am).

She then replied with "I will kill you :cry: "

F*****g LOL.
Click to expand...
And today I get a lovey dovey message, from her, with part of it saying "Now me I am thinking in you :hearts:"

This sheila's an absolute crack up. :drunk::D
 
Ive recently started skimming through this excellent thread.hears my story. I've never told this story before.

years ago I was working doing some home repairs on rental property's.I had a job at a house that was tenanted by the owners son his trim healthy ginger girlfriend and I think some others but I don't remember the others.It was broken floorboards and a few other things.I had done most of the work and needed to return in a few weeks to complete with the right fittings etc.

When I returned as arranged to finish the work the only person home was the ginger girlfriend.She was wearing low slung pants and a grey singlet.She greeted me by asking if I had the right day.I said yes and smiled and chatted for a bit.When I finished smiling and talking she gave me an abrupt one word response.Then silence.Then I thought -rude * en * head.Then she asked if I could be quick because she has a friend coming over.

About five minutes later when I was standing at the door by myself the friend, a very attractive dark haired girl wearing a silky white shirt and jeans said hello .I said hello.We both smiled.We both looked at each other for a long moment.Then both of us simultaneously had a sort of involuntary little physical reaction.Like a jolt and shudder.I would describe that sensation as something like when someone scares you unexpectedly but much much more pleasant. (The most memorable thing ever).Then the skanky ginger * head took the very attractive classy dark haired girl by the hand to the main bedroom and closed the door.
I was immediately intrigued and not exactly sure about what had just happened.Without thinking I went to the bedroom and put an ear against the closed door.I herd the dark haired girl say I got it done.Then Ginger said in a quiet voice show me.Then I herd a zipper being unzipped.Then I thought s**t Im standing listening at a bedroom door and starting to breathe heavily.

As quick as McGyver I came up with a plan.I went outside to my work van found a plastic coke bottle and a Stanley knife and made a listening devise out of the coke bottle.Then I went to the room next to the bedroom and placed my listening devise against the bedroom wall.Then I realised the listening devise I had made was useless and just put my ear against the wall.By now the two girls were only talking,but a lot of what they were saying was very interesting.
The dark haired girl was asking ginger about her boyfriend.Ginger said,no he .No that can't happen.Then she said what about that guy?Ginger said Him?He's dirty.The dark haired girl said well give him a shower.Ginger said mm ,and while he's in the shower.What if he says no ?dark haired girl said.He's a guy.Then they both laughed.

Id heard enough.I went to do the work I was there to do and felt nervous about my fate thereafter.I was psyching myself up while working.I decided I was up for it.I was thinking that I can do having a shower and being dirty.I won't pretend that I won't possibly be overwhelmed but I will give it my best effort.And that in the world I live in ,just going about my daily business.No alcohol.No social night out. Something like this probs won't happen very often or ever again.
While I was working my phone rang.It was a private number I answered it thinking it was most likely to be a HR type offering me a lucrative high paying fifo job.It was my live in girlfriend.She had rung earlier and I didn't answer and she was fragile,emotional all that.I can't remember why she was so upset.lost job,problems with family something like that .I tried to be soothing and understanding and fob her off but she wasn't having it and she wouldn't hang up or stop sobbing.
So that was the end.No happy ending for me.My resolve buckled and I just got worried and .anyway too sad to think about or maybe not thats my story.
 
Asapartyhat said:
Ive recently started skimming through this excellent thread.hears my story. I've never told this story before.

years ago I was working doing some home repairs on rental property's.I had a job at a house that was tenanted by the owners son his trim healthy ginger girlfriend and I think some others but I don't remember the others.It was broken floorboards and a few other things.I had done most of the work and needed to return in a few weeks to complete with the right fittings etc.

When I returned as arranged to finish the work the only person home was the ginger girlfriend.She was wearing low slung pants and a grey singlet.She greeted me by asking if I had the right day.I said yes and smiled and chatted for a bit.When I finished smiling and talking she gave me an abrupt one word response.Then silence.Then I thought -rude **** en **** head.Then she asked if I could be quick because she has a friend coming over.

About five minutes later when I was standing at the door by myself the friend, a very attractive dark haired girl wearing a silky white shirt and jeans said hello .I said hello.We both smiled.We both looked at each other for a long moment.Then both of us simultaneously had a sort of involuntary little physical reaction.Like a jolt and shudder.I would describe that sensation as something like when someone scares you unexpectedly but much much more pleasant. (The most memorable thing ever).Then the skanky ginger **** head took the very attractive classy dark haired girl by the hand to the main bedroom and closed the door.
I was immediately intrigued and not exactly sure about what had just happened.Without thinking I went to the bedroom and put an ear against the closed door.I herd the dark haired girl say I got it done.Then Ginger said in a quiet voice show me.Then I herd a zipper being unzipped.Then I thought s**t Im standing listening at a bedroom door and starting to breathe heavily.

As quick as McGyver I came up with a plan.I went outside to my work van found a plastic coke bottle and a Stanley knife and made a listening devise out of the coke bottle.Then I went to the room next to the bedroom and placed my listening devise against the bedroom wall.Then I realised the listening devise I had made was useless and just put my ear against the wall.By now the two girls were only talking,but a lot of what they were saying was very interesting.
The dark haired girl was asking ginger about her boyfriend.Ginger said,no he .No that can't happen.Then she said what about that guy?Ginger said Him?He's dirty.The dark haired girl said well give him a shower.Ginger said mm ,and while he's in the shower.What if he says no ?dark haired girl said.He's a guy.Then they both laughed.

Id heard enough.I went to do the work I was there to do and felt nervous about my fate thereafter.I was psyching myself up while working.I decided I was up for it.I was thinking that I can do having a shower and being dirty.I won't pretend that I won't possibly be overwhelmed but I will give it my best effort.And that in the world I live in ,just going about my daily business.No alcohol.No social night out. Something like this probs won't happen very often or ever again.
While I was working my phone rang.It was a private number I answered it thinking it was most likely to be a HR type offering me a lucrative high paying fifo job.It was my live in girlfriend.She had rung earlier and I didn't answer and she was fragile,emotional all that.I can't remember why she was so upset.lost job,problems with family something like that .I tried to be soothing and understanding and fob her off but she wasn't having it and she wouldn't hang up or stop sobbing.
So that was the end.No happy ending for me.My resolve buckled and I just got worried and .anyway too sad to think about or maybe not thats my story.
Click to expand...


Say that again. o_O
 

(Log in to remove this ad.)

Asapartyhat said:
It was my live in girlfriend.She had rung earlier and I didn't answer and she was fragile,emotional all that.I can't remember why she was so upset.lost job,problems with family something like that .I tried to be soothing and understanding and fob her off but she wasn't having it and she wouldn't hang up or stop sobbing.
Click to expand...
This paragraph is boss.
 
Slightly perverted awkward flirting story, spending time with someone that works at a David Jones store.... doing the phone tag thing I call her and "she" answers with her name and "how can I help you today ?". Xtreme's dirty response: "oh I think we both know exactly how you can help me <canned laughter>".

Creepy yes, the awkward part of it was that I was not even speaking to her.... but one of her co-workers. Big whoooooooooooooops there.
 
Xtreme said:
Slightly perverted awkward flirting story, spending time with someone that works at a David Jones store.... doing the phone tag thing I call her and "she" answers with her name and "how can I help you today ?". Xtreme's dirty response: "oh I think we both know exactly how you can help me <canned laughter>".

Creepy yes, the awkward part of it was that I was not even speaking to her.... but one of her co-workers. Big whoooooooooooooops there.
Click to expand...

Why didn't you just call her mobile? I assume you called the work line given the way "she" answered, therefore if you're ringing a work line why did you assume it was the girl you know who had answered?

The next call that girl should make is to a priest to ask forgiveness for giving her phone number to a simpleton. ;)
 
Duritz said:
Why didn't you just call her mobile? I assume you called the work line given the way "she" answered, therefore if you're ringing a work line why did you assume it was the girl you know who had answered?

The next call that girl should make is to a priest to ask forgiveness for giving her phone number to a simpleton. ;)
Click to expand...

She can't take calls on her mobile while working, :D

I assumed it was her because 1) She told me to call her and the call was connecting to the counter she works at
2) She sounded pretty much the same
3) She wound up pranking me and both were in on it.
 
Xtreme said:
There were a few other sexual references that I can't repeat on here!

And just for the hell of it, I mean she requested that I call so I called her.
Click to expand...

Of course you can repeat them! But if it ends in her saying that you go down on her "nightly and rightly", I'll throw the computer at you.
 
Duritz said:
Of course you can repeat them! But if it ends in her saying that you go down on her "nightly and rightly", I'll throw the computer at you.
Click to expand...

It's "daily, nightly and ever so rightly".

If you're going to take the piss, at least quote me correctly. :rolleyes:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

Frederico_WA
Games & Recreation One ... word ... story ... #1
77 78 79 80 81
Replies
2K
Views
22K
Frederico_WA
Frederico_WA
Gameova_
Funny childhood/school stories
Replies
8
Views
494
Gameova_
Gameova_

Remove this Banner Ad

Back
Top