FREE therapy from the Collingwood Club Therapist

[1970]

Last night was pretty hard for most of us. An opportunity to stamp our authority on the competition went begging on account of inaccuracy in front of goal.

Let's get one thing straight though - bad kicking is bad football. But what causes it? I believe that it might be the inexorable build up of pressure on the playing group to succeed this year.

I reckon talking to the press about premierships was a mistake. We all might have wanted to hear it but it was the wrong thing to do. Even Manchester United don't talk up their chances of winning the championship. This has only increased the pressure on the playing group. It seems to have a paralysing effect at times. I call it 'Fear of Failure'.

So here is the deal - come and get some FREE therapy - learn how to take the pressure off yourself and maybe it might flow through to the whole team. As my song says 'Embrace Fear of Failure'.

You can write whatever horrible things you like about me - but you can't deny that I am prepared to give, give, give in my capacity as the club therapist. To that ends I am offering a limited number of FREE tickets to the Saturday and Sunday night shows this Easter weekend.

Email me at kieran@kieranbutler.com - First in, best dressed!

And to all those who hate, revile and despise me; as Rusty Crowe said in 'Gladiator' - "On my signal, unleash hell!"

 

[Optimax]

Im going to make this easy

Either advertise yourself with posts that are actual advertisement or post about football.

Dont try and do both its annoying and demeaning as subliminal advertisement tends to be.

If we want to go to your show we will, we dont have to have it mentioned after every win and every loss thats what sen is for

 

[PieLebo87]

Can these threads go straight to the Magpie Nest please? Because entertainment is not football news. I'd appreciate it if these adverts went straight to the Magpie nest because I hate opening up a thread on this board and it not being about footy.

EDIT: You beat me Opti.

 

[1970]

Im going to make this easy

Either advertise yourself with posts that are actual advertisement or post about football.

Dont try and do both its annoying and demeaning as subliminal advertisement tends to be.

If we want to go to your show we will, we dont have to have it mentioned after every win and every loss thats what sen is for

Please explain Mr Optimax - precisely, how did you make it 'easy'? Or was that just an 'subliminal' method of trying to suggest you are too clever by half?

Use a dictionary and find out what 'subliminal advertising' is. If you rate yourself as an erudite person - especially when taking the intellectual high ground - you might want to get your definitions in order.

The above is a ticket giveaway. Not subliminal advertising. The link between ticket giveaways and sales is tenuous and the subject of much conjecture. I know there are some who might like to see the show but can't afford it. I am happy to cater to them. I am a decent human being.

Don't tell me how to construct my posts. It's a free world. And this is the internet. A medium that is growing and changing by the day. There are no rules - just ettiquette - and that is not necessarily set in concrete.

I have read your interminable comments on every other thread. Conservative, repetitive, boring - but that is just my opinion. I am attempting to promote different ideas and new ways of thinking. Entertainment can do that. It doesn't have to stay in the neat little boxes you built for yourself when you first bought an external dial up modem.

You are entitled to support the status quo until your head falls off. I respect that. But don't you ever tell me to play by your rules. And please drop the sarcasm and condescencion where I am concerned. I have read your stuff. With all due respect mate - you are out of your league!

 

[1970]

Can these threads go straight to the Magpie Nest please? Because entertainment is not football news. I'd appreciate it if these adverts went straight to the Magpie nest because I hate opening up a thread on this board and it not being about footy.

EDIT: You beat me Opti.

My advice: If he beats - you leave.

This is not a football news site. Unless you call copying and pasting links to newspaper websites 'news'. It is a forum for discussion.

Contained in my above post is my opinion about why the team missed so many set shots. Plenty of stuff in there to stimulate some discussion if you are up for it. Then I offered some free tickets to my show in good faith. The subject line is pretty clear anyway - why would you open it?

 

[Optimax]

keiran you take this too personally

This is a discussion board for discussion for football in regards to collingwood.

We have the magpie nest sub forum where you can advertise whatever the hell you want, if i personally wanted to be a smart ass Mr.Butler i would of mentioned that you are unfunny and use your support of collingwood to get people to watch your show i didnt do this.

All i want is instead of you posting advertisement on the main collingwood board for collingwood football discussion perhaps post it elsewhere like the magpie nest, it seems im not alone seeing as pie lebo posted something similar to me

 

[pickman]

Why would anyone claiming to be a Collingwood supporter have the user name "1970" the year of possibly the clubs most infamous grand final loss?

What's your next alias going to be? Teddy Hopkins?

 

[1970]

Why would anyone claiming to be a Collingwood supporter have the user name "1970" the year of possibly the clubs most infamous grand final loss?

It's the year of my birth my good man!

 

[1970]

What's your next alias going to be? Teddy Hopkins?

I was thinking of switching to Josef Fritzl but hasn't that name gone out of style in a big way recently!

 

[beez]

So anyway, BACK ON TOPIC!

I wouldn't mind some free tix, I've seen a couple of your shows KB, and they are hilarious.

 

[pickman]

So anyway, BACK ON TOPIC!

I wouldn't mind some free tix, I've seen a couple of your shows KB, and they are hilarious.

Not that last Fritzel gag is anything to go by!

 

[beez]

Not that last Fritzel gag is anything to go by!

*hands pickman some attention*

 

[tess]

Maybe for your next show we can arrange a Player Sponsor night ....

 

[1970]

BF allocation of free tickets for this weekend have all been snapped up. Thanks for your time folks. Here is a review from last night's show:

I was almost wanting to pay another $19.66 after seeing Kieran Butler's "Collingwood Club Therapist" last night. For two reasons. Firstly, my expectations were well exceeded, and secondly, I knew that the amount would piss him off. After all, ticket prices are $19.90 full and $19.58 concession. If the numbers don't trigger memories for you, you aren't a Collingwood - or VFL - fan.
I'm not a Pies fan. I came to gloat. I wasn't aware that the greater part of the show was an excellently scripted and performed musical with four perfomers, however, based on the Christlike life of Mr. Ben Cousins. After 10 min of quickfire standup (including a lovely Josef Fritzl gag, explaining why he's the official CFC therapist, and touching on his previous "Collingwood ruined my life" show), Butler straps on his guitar and the show proper commences.

For mine, the Ned Kelly ghost remonstrating with Cousins for not knowing why he chose his "Such is life" tatt, and the brilliantly scripted and performed take on HBO's "Deadwood" were the highlights. The serve that Eddie McGuire cops really should be witnessed - it will be enjoyed - by all fans of footy. This is a musical take on the politics of "foooooty" designed to appeal to the haters as well as the fans. The portrayal of Mick Malthouse is absurd and inspired, and Michelle Wilson's beautifully voiced Jelena Dokic was lovingly upstaged by Butler's Damir Dokic. (Why tennis? I won't give the plot away, but it fitted.)

Butler's regular apperances on SEN have obviously set him up well for this show, as the lyrics and musicianship have been keenly honed.

Word of warning - the kitchen at the Retreat Hotel isn't the quickest in Christendom, so be sure to allow an hour for a feed if that's part of your plans.

This is the sixth show I've seen at the festival so far, and certainly the one which has had me reliving the most moments in the bar afterwards. Almost obscene value for money. (Be sure to insist on ignoring suggested pricing and paying $19.80, $19.66, $19.70 or particularly $19.79. Tell them that Wayne Harmes sent you.)