Oppo Camp Round 1 - Vs North Melbourne | The Banter Thread

[Kong]

Well Round 1's finally here. The heart's pumping, the blood pressure's rising, the mouth's frothing.

After lots of success with Carlton and Hawthorn in the past, we kick off our season 2012 with an "open banter" thread with the folk of North Melbourne, as decided by the vote of Essendon users (sorry, HAD, your vote was ignored).


The purpose

We want to welcome in North users, to freely discuss their thoughts on the game without fear of cards. It's often difficult to even challenge an opinion of another poster on their "home turf" without overstaying your welcome, so this is an opportunity to do that.

We stress that we want mature, sensible discussion. This is not a troll free for all. We do not want "The Bay" making its way here. Posts that are just outright stupid will probably end up in the trash.

If North think they've got us covered, by all means let us know why, but if the best you've got is "lulz u got moved by the bowlsz club!", don't bother.

Humour's more than welcome, but use some common sense.

What it means for the rest of the board

This is the sanctuary for "open" discussion. It means all other threads have zero tolerance. If North supporters have an opinion to challenge, they do it here. Any overstepping the line anywhere else on this board will result in an automatic board ban and card(s) at the Essendon mods' discretion.


/grumpy bum

Enjoy.

 

[Handsome.B.Wonderful]

I'll kick things off...

Personally I think we will win by 30 goals because we have superior facilities located in the suburb we are named after. Our players are also far superior because 4 of them were named in the AA squad last year.

Towards the end of the game when the result is sealed I will mouth the names of the entire North list in Adrian Dodoro's general direction.

That'll learn him for picking Heppell over Atley.

 

[Jade]

As a club, we have them covered by a substantial margin. Greater history, higher attendance, larger revenue, more members - and just a general fact that more people give a s**t about the Bombers than the Kangaroos could ever possibly hope for.

On field, whilst our list is vastly superior and better structured, we unfortunately have a knack for not showing up against poorer sides. We'll knock over a Geelong or Collingwood, and drop the next week against Port. One thing to take from the NAB Cup, we ground out a win against the Swans, and then buried the Lions; as we should.

Its midfield is inferior to ours. Essendon outperformed North in Clearances, Contested Possessions, Tackles, Inside 50s and DE% in 2011- we're simply a better side.

We win this, because there is a significant gap between the capacities of these sides; and it's time that we started putting lesser sides like this one to the sword.

 

[Jade]

I'll kick things off...

Personally I think we will win by 30 goals because we have superior facilities located in the suburb we are named after. Our players are also far superior because 4 of them were named in the AA squad last year.

Towards the end of the game when the result is sealed I will mouth the names of the entire North list in Adrian Dodoro's general direction.

That'll learn him for picking Heppell over Atley.

Solid. Gold.

 

[Lord Nicholson]

That'll learn him for picking Heppell over Atley.

Jack Atley?

 

[Handsome.B.Wonderful]

Jack Atley?

That's him.

I fully expect Jack Atley, Patrick McCarthy, Greenhead and Henderson to dominate on Saturday night.

For those who have no idea what this means, all players mentioned above have been called by commentators during our games. Atley, Greenhead (Greenwood) and Henderson (Hansen) are easy mistakes but who hell is Patrick McCarthy?

 

[daffo]

Atley looks like having a great year.

Essendon will win by at least 140 points.

 

[blackkav]

I'll kick things off...

Personally I think we will win by 30 goals because we have superior facilities located in the suburb we are named after. Our players are also far superior because 4 of them were named in the AA squad last year.

Towards the end of the game when the result is sealed I will mouth the names of the entire North list in Adrian Dodoro's general direction.

That'll learn him for picking Heppell over Atley.

ahahah

 

[blackkav]

That's him.

I fully expect Jack Atley, Patrick McCarthy, Greenhead and Henderson to dominate on Saturday night.

For those who have no idea what this means, all players mentioned above have been called by commentators during our games. Atley, Greenhead (Greenwood) and Henderson (Hansen) are easy mistakes but who hell is Patrick McCarthy?

He is a journalist that coaches the Western Bulldogs

 

[DVD Player]

I'll kick things off...

Personally I think we will win by 30 goals because we have superior facilities located in the suburb we are named after. Our players are also far superior because 4 of them were named in the AA squad last year.

Towards the end of the game when the result is sealed I will mouth the names of the entire North list in Adrian Dodoro's general direction.

That'll learn him for picking Heppell over Atley.

And you did it perfectly

 

[monty1104]

Essendon should win just by the fact we have more Michael Hurley's than they do.

 

[fairdinkum]

Two mid-table teams representing clubs who haven't won a single flag in the past decade between them fighting for a spot in the finals to get picked off in the first week or embarrassed by one of the real contenders in weeks two or three. Both supported by people on bigfooty who honestly think their clubs will win a flag before GC/GWS which is the height of delusion if ever I've seen it.

Should be a cracking game, though. Unfortunately I won't be able to attend but if I see any charity tin-rattlers on the way to the local pub on Saturday night I will chuck in a gold coin in honour of the Flight Plan. This is a program designed to ensure Essendon can make it to their scheduled practice matches in 2013 and beyond, isn't it? Good to see a club rectifying their embarrassing stuffups post-haste and that is why I support the tin-rattling at our home game.

Shows how petty some North supporters are that they would even think of saying no to your club's request, in my opinion. What if we get scheduled to play you guys at Bairnsdale next preseason and your plane doesn't land? Then we would look like idiots for not supporting the Flight Plan, wouldn't we? Playing a game of kick-to-kick by ourselves like some past-it Frankston team because we didn't put our hands in our pockets and support you guys in your endeavours to improve your Planned Flights eleven months earlier.

My tip is a nil-all draw between Heppell and Atley. That's premiership medallions when they hang up their boots, mind you. That's assuming Jason Dodoro realises the errors of his ways and throws the kitchen sink at us to trade you guys back Dodoro's 'Judd Mk II'. If he stays with us then obviously that changes the ledger to 1-0 in Atley's favour - unless of course Heppell takes some juicy GC/GWS coin in which case the the ledger reverts to 3-1 in his favour. Then Dodoro would have the last laugh, wouldn't he? Would be poetic if he could find Handsome and mouth 'Heppell, Heppell, Heppell...', which might take place if Handsome gets a gig at a psych ward and is caring for a straight-jacketed Dodoro rocking back and forth in a padded room. 'Heppell, Heppell, Heppell'. 'It's alright Jason, everything will be alright'. 'Heppell, Heppell, Heppell...'.

All this is to say I think the Bombers will get up by 17 points but we will win the return fixture in Round 20.

 

[Aussie Assault]

I'll kick things off...

Personally I think we will win by 30 goals because we have superior facilities located in the suburb we are named after. Our players are also far superior because 4 of them were named in the AA squad last year.

Towards the end of the game when the result is sealed I will mouth the names of the entire North list in Adrian Dodoro's general direction.

That'll learn him for picking Heppell over Atley.

Well played

 

[Lord Nicholson]

That's him.

I fully expect Jack Atley, Patrick McCarthy, Greenhead and Henderson to dominate on Saturday night.

Expect strong resistance from Courtney Dempster, Michael Zaharakis, Tom Beachcomber, and David Aisle.

 

[Quivorir]

Subbed for the lols this thread will provide.

 

[nickh32]

I always enjoy going to games when we play north because if I buy a concession ticket worth $16.15 i get a great sense of joy knowing I'm holding something which is worth more than the North Melbourne football club as a whole.

About the game we will smash them beyond belief, nobody will be able to stop Hurley and he will leave a trail of destruction. Essendon will show North our kids are so much better and will snap North out of their delusion in which they think that the kids in their team are amazing but the likes of Hurley, Zaharakis, Melksham, Colyer, Heppell will show them how bad they actually are.

Also Dempsey has arrived and will win the brownlow and North will be left wondering who the hell is that guy he makes us look bad and will leave the north players in therapy for years due to waking them from the delusion where they have thought they belong in the afl.

 

[Handsome.B.Wonderful]

Expect strong resistance from Courtney Dempster, Michael Zaharakis, Tom Beachcomber, and David Aisle.

Really depends on how your coach Jane Zerd uses them. Assistant Coach Atom Bomb's son will provide valuable experience in the box as well.

 

[lamaros]

North Melbourne will lose very badly. Their only quality player is 37 and hates the rest of the team, their coach's only claim to fame is being the less ambitious brother of a guy who won a premiership with the team built and coached by the guy who is now Essendon's assistant, and their fans are delusional numpties who think that not playing in the finals year after year is the ideal experience for young players and that going around writing ': stern look' doesn't make them appear to be five year olds competing for best spot at nap time.

 

[Howard Moon]

i wish i hated north more.. but i don't

they are just like a poor little brother who has no money and cant really compete so i just let him come along sometimes out of pity.

i promise to let him have a bat in cricket after i go out.. ill never tonk him for 6 after 6 because i know he wont want to play anymore. its just unfortunate that when i finally go out mum calls us in for dinner... maybe next time...

5 goal win to us purely because we can buy success.

*donate to flight plan*

 

[fishardansin]

Lets hope North fans, per capita, donate as much for the flight plan as we did for their survival.

 

[Hencho]

The Hurley Affect!

40+ point victory.

 

[DapperDon]

Duncan Fletcher will kick 10.

North have Zero chance.

 

[Handsome.B.Wonderful]

i wish i hated north more.. but i don't

they are just like a poor little brother who has no money and cant really compete so i just let him come along sometimes out of pity.

i promise to let him have a bat in cricket after i go out.. ill never tonk him for 6 after 6 because i know he wont want to play anymore. its just unfortunate that when i finally go out mum calls us in for dinner... maybe next time...

5 goal win to us purely because we can buy success.

*donate to flight plan*

In the same way Essendon historically is the selfish older brother who couldn't handle the new baby taking all the attention. So they used underhanded tactics (when mum wasn't looking of course) to ensure that little brother couldn't play with his toys or appreciate a decent recruiting zone.

For years little brother roamed the streets living in the shadow of its selfish older brother. In 1950 the young kid first stood up and challenged his older brother to a fight but was well beaten.

Then when the 70's rolled around big brother was too busy taking drugs and wearing trendy red shorts. He lost all drive while his sibling snuck under his guard and stole his 74 HQ Monaro GTS (Barry Davis) and several other fast cars.

A few years later big brother produced #1 hits such as "Hold Me Now (Premiership Cup)" - Mark Thompson Twins (1984) and "Smooth Operator" - Kevin Sadè (1985) and little brother had to be content a one hit wonder season in 1983, re-releasing an old hit from '76 "Blinded by M.Blight" written by Peter Mann's father "Manfred".

It was in the 90's that little brother again worked his way to the top. He took on a night job at the MCG, most Fridays night he would be there, feeding the Duck. For a period of 3 or 4 years both brothers enjoyed some success and Mum was delighted, although during this period their rivalry was as fierce as ever and the family gatherings always ended in marshmallows thrown.

At the turn of the millennium big brother was in ripping form and little brother was burnt out, the Duck that he had nurtured for all those years turned on him and his life was in crisis.

And since then we've both been shithouse.

 

[Kong]

Haha, well done.

 

[Howard Moon]

In the same way Essendon historically is the selfish older brother who couldn't handle the new baby taking all the attention. So they used underhanded tactics (when mum wasn't looking of course) to ensure that little brother couldn't play with his toys or appreciate a decent recruiting zone.

For years little brother roamed the streets living in the shadow of its' selfish older brother. In 1950 the young kid first stood up and challenged his older brother to a fight but was well beaten.

Then when the 70's rolled around big brother was too busy taking drugs and wearing trendy red shorts. He lost all drive while his sibling snuck under his guard and stole his 74 HQ Monaro GTS (Barry Davis) and several other fast cars.

A few years later big brother produced #1 hits such as "Hold Me Now (Premiership Cup)" - Mark Thompson Twins (1984) and "Smooth Operator" - Kevin Sadè (1985) and little brother had to be content a one hit wonder season in 1983, re-releasing an old hit from '76 "Blinded by M.Blight" written by Peter Mann's father "Manfred".

It was in the 90's that little brother again worked his way to the top. He took on a night job at the MCG, most Fridays night he would be there, feeding the Duck. For a period of 3 or 4 years both brothers enjoyed some success and Mum was delighted, although during this period their rivalry was as fierce as ever and the family gatherings always ended in marshmallows thrown.

At the turn of the millennium big brother was in ripping form and little brother was burnt out, the Duck that he had nurtured for all those years turned on him and his life was in crisis.

And since then we've both been shithouse.

Awesome!!

....but just like in everybody loves raymond; mum (the afl) always loves the younger sibling more -- always sneaking him money on the side.

Poor older brother has had a job for much longer and has to fend for himself.