PhenomenalV1
The Deletion Artist
- Jan 3, 2017
- 11,862
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- AFL Club
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- Dragons FFC, Matt Hardy
Welcome one, welcome all to that one day in June!
The SFA Film Awards!
...Sorry, the Season 35 SFA Grand Final. My mistake.
Anyway, I'm out here on the red carpet with some of the stars from the West Coast Wonders and the Ophidian Old Boys!
Joining me now is the grandfather of the Wonders...possibly literally, Grand Uncle Horace!
GUH: Happy to be here Phenom.
Now Horrie, you're an old star from way back when, what's changed between your start in the film business and now?
GUH: What the...
...I think I've confused him, roll some footage from The Ten Complaintments to jog his memory.
GUH: ...I thought I was here to play a qooty match.
I'm sure you are Horrie, I'm sure you are.
Security, take him away.
Uhh...anyway, here's the SFA's very own It Couple, OOBS Captain Tigerturbulance and his lovely wife Mrs Turbo!
TT: Phenom, I'd like to show you the lineup for our new movie!
Oh wow, you're actually playing along with the theme, wasn't expecting that.
TT: Phenom, I'd like to introduce you to the next big star of the silver screen, my darling wife, Mrs. T!
Mrs. T: Oh Turbo, you are a smooth talker!
TT: Here's a little taste of her upcoming debut, The Mrs. Turbomaid!
I dunno Turbo, there's already a remake of The Little Mermaid out in theatres right now, I think you might be flooding the market.
TT: With the star power behind our version? I think we stand a chance!
May I see that star power?
TT: Sure!
Ophidian Old Boys - Expected Lineup
B: Hoos / BRAB / The Cryptkeeper
HB: The Jesus / Tigerturbulance / Greenery
C: Ligma / Robertio / U2tigers
HF: kenneyswarriors / Braklet / Mobbs
F: Wickzki / Bonz / haydo
Foll: Elton Johns Wig / Fleabane / Mrs Turbo
INT: FireKrakouer / SaintBilly
...Turbo, this is a qooty lineup.
Security, have the Turbos escorted out of the premises ASAP
Moving on, earlier this evening, I caught up with Wonders stalwart Frothies McVeigh!
Froth, thanks for coming on the show!
FMV: Pleasure to be here, Phenom.
Now, you've been called the biggest action star of the SFA, do you think that's a fair tag?
FMV: Umm...I guess you could say that? Full-Forward is arguably the highest pressure role on the field-
Sorry, sorry, full-forward?
FMV: Yeah. I play at full-forward.
I don't believe I've seen that one.
FMV: "Seen"?
I mean, I thought you were brilliant in Army of Frothness.
FMV: What in the-
Roll the, uh, boomstick scene.
FMV: I-I don't remember any of this.
Erm...
Security, contact his agent.
Right, so, no-one here seems to want to engage with the concept, so let's bring in someone who will, welcome Robertio!
R: Good evening mate.
I believe we've got a sneak preview of your latest work, is that right?
R: Too right mate.
...
R:...
...may I see it?
R: Sure mate.
...Pardon me RobR, but what was that?
R: West OOB Story, mate.
I'm sorry, I'm not tolerating another remake following a remake.
Security, drag him to the dungeons.
Finally we've got some originatlity here, please welcome Wonders co-captain, the Big Cheese himself, damicky!
D: Hello, traitor.
...Still caught up in that incident from the offseason, huh.
D: Your rejection will haunt me for the rest of my life.
...
D:...
...So, can we get a rundown of who's working on your next production?
D: Too easy.
West Coast Wonders - Expected Lineup
B: LukeParkerno1 / BallaratBulldog / jezzajay
HB: SM / SSwans2011 / NinjaSwan
C: AnUltimateRessie / ClarkeM / HARPSichord
HF: Rioli2Rioli / Brenton Davy / dogs105
F: croweater 41 / Frothies Mcveigh / MayTheNorthBeWithU
FOLL: damicky / Grand Uncle Horace / Cubs2Lions
INT: Wojcinski / JT_the_Man
Ooh, that's one sexy looking production team, what are the helping you with?
D: It's a bold new film I like to call Pulp Feta.
Intriguing. Hope we'll be seeing it nominated for next season's awards.
Security, take him away, he may have a thing for feet.
Oh thank god, an actual acting talent, please welcome Bonz to the Red Carpet!
B: Lovin' it, PV1!
Bonz, baby, how have you been?
B: Phenom, when you and I are Tag Champs, I'll be just peachy!
Is...is that catnip I can smell?
B: I love Los Angeles!
Um...can we have some clips from The Bonzfather up on screen? Just to mask security taking him away?
...I think we should can the special guests.
Anyway, the last time that the mighty West Coast and Spotswood Studios co-produced, it looked like this:
Last Time They Met
Season 35, Round 17
West Coast Wonders 11.6 (72) lost to Ophidian Old Boys FFC 13.9 (87)
at Flog Oval.
Well, that wraps up our coverage from the Red Carpet, may the best crew win!
Captains, please have your team sheets and Academy Nominations in by Thursday, 11:59 pm, AEST.
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Ophidian Old Boys
Ophidian Old Boys
