Sickies

[long_live_alstey]

Well, I am off to the races tonight at Moonee Valley. Only issue being, I am working.

Only problem is - I pre warned a bloke to be ready to be called in to cover me becuase I was taking a sicky. He called the boss yesterday & told the boss "oh I can't work for him tomorrow".

What are your best excuses and ways of dealing with that yuck feeling calling in sick to work?

Will I still have a job?

Help me out here guys!

 

[J-Train]

Well, I am off to the races tonight at Moonee Valley. Only issue being, I am working.

Only problem is - I pre warned a bloke to be ready to be called in to cover me becuase I was taking a sicky. He called the boss yesterday & told the boss "oh I can't work for him tomorrow".

What are your best excuses and ways of dealing with that yuck feeling calling in sick to work?

Will I still have a job?

Help me out here guys!

GASTRO. Its always "going around" and no-one wants to hear about how you were "firing both ends for hours last night". It'll be the quickest conversation with your boss you'll ever have. He might not believe you, but anyone who has truly had gastro before doesn't want to risk getting it again, so you'll get the day off with your bosses blessing.

 

[Gabbie]

Girl = Ovary Problems
Boy = GF has ovary problems

Make sure you're not caught on camera like a friend of mine was once on the Waverley Scoreboard after calling in sick on a Sat job - her boss was at the footy and SPRUNG!!

 

[bunsen burner]

- Hi Boss, I'm calling to tell you I'm sick and can't make it into work today.
- We really need you, can't you come in?
- nup, i'm sick
- Come on, stop being a blouse, you don't sound sick to me
- Well if doing your sister isn't sick then I don't know what is?
- You're a sick f***. Take the day off.

 

[mantis]

If I only want one day off, then it's a migraine, more than one day a bad back, the good thing with a bad backs is, it can last up to a week.

 

[daddy_4_eyes]

Never fake the flu.
This lady that used to work with us called in sick one day, and i happened to answer the phone. She put on the fakes sounding "my nose is blocked" flu voice ever. Comes in the next day happy as pie, no sign of a blocked nose. Me not liking this fat mole I delibrately asked her - with the boss within hearing distance - what happened to her blocked nose, mentioning how sick she sounded on the phone and how she must have found an overnight cure for the flu.



Last time she called in sick.

Later that year the stupid b*tch told us on a Thursday afternoon that she had a family crisis and had to fly to India that Sunday for a month. She gave us 1 days warning, and in a small business that is really hard to deal with. Next week I see her in the local shops doing her shopping. The b*tch decided to take a holiday by lying. Jokes was on her, cause she didn't have a job to come back to

 

[de_LICA_ish18]

I always start my sickness the day earlier, make myself look like a trooper by sticking around and then have the next day off. This way when you make the call they'll say "Yeah you didn't look well yesterday".

When I get back and they ask:

"Are you feeling better?"
I never say yes i'm fine now. I'll say,
"i'm better than yesterday but still don't feel the best".
Then they'll say
"Well don't push yourself, go home if you're not feeling well".
And I say
"I've got some stuff to do first, (again looking like a trooper) I might just finish this and then take off".

 

[mantis]

I always start my sickness the day earlier, make myself look like a trooper by sticking around and then have the next day off. This way when you make the call they'll say "Yeah you didn't look well yesterday".

When I get back and they ask:

"Are you feeling better?"
I never say yes i'm fine now. I'll say,
"i'm better than yesterday but still don't feel the best".
Then they'll say
"Well don't push yourself, go home if you're not feeling well".
And I say
"I've got some stuff to do first, (again looking like a trooper) I might just finish this and then take off".

My migraines, or bad back usually starts in the afternoon the day before I want off, that way I get to go home early & the boss usually says, if you aren't feeling better in the morning, don't worry about coming in tomorrow.

 

[Ron]

At my work i don't even need an excuse, i just call in and say i'm sick.
If its a weekend they say ok bring a medical certifciate, and during the week they just say ok whatever bye.

 

[GoBackToVFL]

Never fake the flu.
This lady that used to work with us called in sick one day, and i happened to answer the phone. She put on the fakes sounding "my nose is blocked" flu voice ever. Comes in the next day happy as pie, no sign of a blocked nose. Me not liking this fat mole I delibrately asked her - with the boss within hearing distance - what happened to her blocked nose, mentioning how sick she sounded on the phone and how she must have found an overnight cure for the flu.



Last time she called in sick.

Later that year the stupid b*tch told us on a Thursday afternoon that she had a family crisis and had to fly to India that Sunday for a month. She gave us 1 days warning, and in a small business that is really hard to deal with. Next week I see her in the local shops doing her shopping. The b*tch decided to take a holiday by lying. Jokes was on her, cause she didn't have a job to come back to

so you dobbed her in both times and she ended up getting sacked. Are you somehow proud of your actions?

 

[daddy_4_eyes]

so you dobbed her in both times and she ended up getting sacked. Are you somehow proud of your actions?

Indeed I am. She was an evil little troll that brought nothing to the company. Her selfish actions put a strain on everyone else in the company, and she deserved nothing less than the sack. She gave us 1 days notice that she had to go overseas, when all she really wanted was time off work. She had been there for only 4 months so hadn't even accrued enough annual leave to warrant a month off, let alone lie about it so she can kick back at home.

But for what its worth, i didn't dob her in the 2nd time. My boss figured it out himself that she had lied.

 

[carntheroos4eva]

Indeed I am. She was an evil little troll that brought nothing to the company. Her selfish actions put a strain on everyone else in the company, and she deserved nothing less than the sack. She gave us 1 days notice that she had to go overseas, when all she really wanted was time off work. She had been there for only 4 months so hadn't even accrued enough annual leave to warrant a month off, let alone lie about it so she can kick back at home.

But for what its worth, i didn't dob her in the 2nd time. My boss figured it out himself that she had lied.

Sounds like that your workmate is a slackarse. So what did your boss do to the lying bitch?

 

[Shell]

My personal way of taking a fake sickie, is to firstly call in early in the morning. This way you speak to an answering machine AND your voice is all scratchy and sounds like youre sick anyway, from just waking up.

And yeah, never fake flu or anything. "Stomach upset, gastro or womens troubles" usually works for me, as you usually wouldn't go to a doctors for any of these, and they are usually only a one day problem.

 

[jimmy35]

I never take time off unless I really have to . Im a Public Servant for Gods sake !

 

[mantis]

I never take time off unless I really have to . Im a Public Servant for Gods sake !

Come on, even being a PS, aren't there freezing cold mornings when you just don't want to get out of bed? I take most of my sickies in July & August, when it's the coldest & no PH's for ages.

Edit: I just realised my boss reads BF.
Hey Tony, I'm only joshing, I really do suffer from migraines & bad backs in winter, I guess it's the cold weather that does it.

 

[jimmy35]

Come on, even being a PS, aren't there freezing cold mornings when you just don't want to get out of bed? I take most of my sickies in July & August, when it's the coldest & no PH's for ages.

Edit: I just realised my boss reads BF.
Hey Tony, I'm only joshing, I really do suffer from migraines & bad backs in winter, I guess it's the cold weather that does it.

I'm offended at the very suggestion mantis . What is the point of a Public Servant if we aren't there to serve the public .

Through rain and hail and sleet and snow ...

 

[Jeffers]

Gastro is definately the best to take a sickie. No need for a doctor and just gross people out about the chemical warfare you endured the day you were sick.

 

[Bombers_Forever]

Gastro is the easiest one, as are headaches.

 

[HBF]

GASTRO. Its always "going around" and no-one wants to hear about how you were "firing both ends for hours last night". It'll be the quickest conversation with your boss you'll ever have. He might not believe you, but anyone who has truly had gastro before doesn't want to risk getting it again, so you'll get the day off with your bosses blessing.

Exactly, but I wouldn't use this excuse too often over a short period of time. You can't possibly have gastro 3 times in 2 months.

 

[1jasonoz]

What the hell are sickies, 19+ years of working never had one yet!!

 

[Tormented Tiger]

Come on, even being a PS, aren't there freezing cold mornings when you just don't want to get out of bed? I take most of my sickies in July & August, when it's the coldest & no PH's for ages.

Edit: I just realised my boss reads BF.
Hey Tony, I'm only joshing, I really do suffer from migraines & bad backs in winter, I guess it's the cold weather that does it.

Woohoo, I've got boobs.

Now you can blame your new boobies.

 

[johnnyhoward]

What the hell are sickies, 19+ years of working never had one yet!!

Why not?

 

[1jasonoz]

Why not?

We don't get sick leave in my industry. If you get sick you use your annual leave. If you run out of annual leave the company will then provide Personal indemnity insurance through an insurance company; paying 75% of your wages.

 

[Dr AlfAndrews]

I had a job once, believe it or not ... and some of my excuses required me to use the full extent of my not inconsiderable creativity.

One morning I woke up feeling like 6 pounds of **** in a five pound bag after a serious night on the turps. No way could I face a day of dull conformity in the office, so I rang my mother in Adelaide. I was living in Sydney at the time and hadn't contacted my parents for months/years/whatever.

I was kind of hoping she wouldn't answer because she'd passed away and I could therefore take bereavement leave but no such luck. There she was. Alive if not particularly well. We chatted for a while and then I ventured the hopeful question, "How's Dad?" Maybe he had passed away. I crossed my fingers in hope but alas. I heard his voice in the background saying "hello".

So there I was, at this unwholesome time of the morning making small talk with Mum, still off my face from the previous night's excesses, and still with no valid excuse not to go to work.

Just as I was about to say my farewells Mum suddenly remembered something.

"Oh, you remember Uncle Wally, don't you?"

I did ... vaguely.

"Well, I've got some very sad news", she said. "Uncle Wally passed away a few weeks ago. Heart attack."

I suppressed a sudden urge to shout "You bloody beauty" and instead put on my saddest telephone voice to express my condolences.

Problem solvered.

I said 'bye to Mum and got my girlfriend to ring work for me. She told them I was very distraught because there had been a death in the family and I would not be able to go to work.

Then I invited some mates over and we all got ****-faced having a "wake" for my poor Uncle Wally.

Unfortunately the Public Service got the last laugh. When I submitted my application for bereavement leave I was told it only applied in the case of the death of immediate family, not uncles or aunties.

So I finished up getting a fair day's non-pay for a fair day's non-work.

 

[Dr AlfAndrews]

Then there was the long weekend when I had a big win at Randwick on the Saturday and spent the rest of the weekend living it up on the proceeds. Several grams of speed and copious amounts of alcohol later it was Tuesday morning and I was broke, depressed and running late for work.

I knew I was in much too bedraggled a state to present myself for duty or even to ring up on the phone. So I waited until afternoon, by which time I was capable of stringing a sentence together, and rang my boss with some **** and bull story that I'd been mugged on my way to the train station and knocked out.

"Didn't someone try to help you?" she asked.

"No. I just woke up a while ago on the footpath."

The fact that I lived in Kings Cross made this outlandish lie seem vaguely believable and I got plenty of sympathy and concern from the other end of the phone.

To make my story even more believable I got a cheese grater and scraped it across my forehead just above my eye to create an injury vaguely consistent with having copped a whack over the head.

Even those of my fellow workers who'd suspected I was making it all up were convinced when I turned up next day with my "injury".

But alas. The joke was on me once again.

Several months later I actually DID get mugged on my way to work. I wasn't knocked out, but some thug pulled a screw-driver on me and stole my leather jacket. I knew they wouldn't believe me if I rang in and said I'd been done over AGAIN ... so I just copped it sweet and turned up for work, albeit a little late and somewhat shaken by the experience.