philreich
TheBrownDog
- Mar 2, 2014
- 70,473
- 189,572
- AFL Club
- Port Adelaide
vs
A family of Gumbies supporters heads out one Saturday morning to do their Christmas shoplifting. While in Rebel Sports the son picks up a Roys footy jumper and says to his 10 year old sister, "Hey, Pox Face, I've decided to become a Roys supporter, and I want this for Christmas."
His sister, outraged by this, promptly whacks him around the head with her carton of Winfields and says, "Dickhead, go talk to mum."
Off goes the little lad with the Roys jumper stuffed up his T-shirt and finds his mum.
"Mum?"
"Yeah, son?"
"I've decided I'm going to be a Roys supporter, and I want this jumper for Christmas".
His mother is outraged at this and throws her moccasins and a full stubbie of VB at him, smacks him in the gob and says, "We'll see about that, you little creep, we'll go 'n talk to your father!"
Off they go to the local prison during visiting hours, with footy jumper in hand, to find Moose, his toothless and heavily tattooed father.
"Dad?"
"Yeah, Knackers?"
"Dad, I've decided I'm going to be a Roys supporter and I want this jumper for Christmas".
Moose goes berserk and gives his son an almighty backhander and snarls, "No bastard of mine is ever going to be seen wearing that shit!" and then kicks the young lad's arse from one end of the rec-room to the other, just for good measure.
About half an hour later, mum, daughter and battered son are all back in the rusty old Falcon, heading towards home. Mum turns to her son and says, "Knackers, have you learned something today?"
The son responds: "Bloody oath I have!"
"Good, Knackers, what is it?"
The son replies, "I've only been a Roys supporter for a day, and already I hate you Gumbies pricks!"
THE ROAD TO GET HERE
Gumbies FFC
After being narrowly pipped for the minor premiership by the Hawks, the Gumbies put that disappointment behind them by winning a classic qualifying final against the Demons by 23 points.
Roys FFC
The Roys took on the Swamprats in the elimination final, and despite freakish accuracy from the visitors, the Roys managed to prevail by 16 points.
They then took on the Hawks in the semi final, hoping to stop the reigning premiers in their tracks, who were hoping for an unprecedented hat trick of premierships. Well it remains unprecedented, because the Roys got the chocolates by 15 points.
FORM GUIDE
Let's take a brief look at who has been in form of late for both teams, and who may need to lift their game to another level, to help their team into the premiership decider.
Gumbies FFC (from QF)
Who's hot?
ossie_21 - earned best on ground bagging rights against the Demons with 21 possessions, 5 marks and 3 goals.
beez - 26 possessions, 6 marks and a goal is a very nice day at the office.
Who's not?
CatToTheFuture - a qualifying final isn't a good time to have donuts - he'd want to touch the ball this week, or his name could be up for discussion at the selection table for the premiership decider (assuming the team overcomes the Roys).
Bartel - Only 1 handball: time to lift, son!!!
Roys FFC
Who's hot?
Mooch - had an extraordinary day out against the Hawks, booting 9 goals & 8 behinds. The Gumbies full back will be having a few sleepless nights, wondering how he can limit Mooch's output - his team's grand final hopes may hinge on the outcome of that duel.
SpecialBruce wasn't bad either - 23 possessions, 4 marks & 5 bone crunching tackles is a pretty admirable effort.
Who's not?
judge judy won't remember this game too fondly - only 2 handballs for the game - not quite as bad as donuts, but Roys fans will want more this week.
killer also had a day to forget, registering only 5 possessions for the game.
Who wins?
Trying to read the sim is often like trying to watch Big Brother - utterly impossible. But if pressed to make a decision, I'll say the Gumbies by 9 points. Good luck to both teams.
Teams, please submit your team sheet by deadline.
