Media Fun things Golumless has done over 149 games

[Agent93]

Golumless has played 149 games.

Golumless has been captain of two clubs, the Wonders (S19, 21-22) and the Gumbies (S24, 25)

Golumless has won a premiership at the Wonders in season 21.

Golumless has a bunch of stats:

Stats                      Golumless

Clubs         GUM (33), HAW (23), SCS (19), WON (74)
Games                         149
Hitouts                        7
Kicks                         1056
Marks                         227
Handballs                     805
Tackles                       368
Frees For                     160
Frees Against                  96
Goals                         212
Behinds                       128
Disposals                     1861
DreamTeam                     8210
Votes                        39/22

Golumless has had a pretty boring SFA career, except... Golumless is elite.

Golumless is elite at breaking the league rules and getting suspended, bitching about the rules and tryign to get others suspended, getting co-captains suspended, and generally melting over all situations. So let's countdown! (Ha, you thought I was going to miss out on cliches)

 

[Agent93]

The top 9 times Golumless got suspended, got someone else suspended, tried to get someone suspended, or just melted about suspension:​

Number 9
One can only imagine the look of utter glee that came over his face when Golumeless realised the embattled rookie captains of the Baghdad Bombers had messed up their team sheet formatting. After a week long farce due to Tony Lynn 15 and TheCoach16 being utterly inept at following league rules regarding squads it culminated in this:

Now, you may be thinking to yourself - @Golumless you hypocritical piece of shit, and you would be absolutely correct, by writing this I am a hypocritical piece of shit. However, after a few times where I had been in the firing line of such a thread, it would be an act of catharsis to be on the other side. The hunter, rather then the hunted so to say. Plus if this is the moment that makes someone with leadership desires at the Bombers begin to think that they need to deliver a coup de grace to a couple of posters who are frankly so far out of their depth, it hurts, then it is also worth it. At worse this is lack of game recognizing lack of game, and should be a moment they reflect and think "what has gone wrong in my life"

All for a low grade penalty, a suspended sentence. It became clear to Golumless midway through his own thread that the Bombers captains he'd just dobbed in were already on a suspended sentence, and you could practically feel the joy radiating from South Australia when Cloud_ announced the suspension.


Number 8
Season 21 was probably Golumless' finest hour as a captain, and he clearly had the support of others in the league:

What an absolute ******* joke. Golumless is not fit to be captain. SSwans2011 is not fit to be captain. They should both **** right off and let someone who actually treats the league with respect lead arguably the greatest club this league has ever seen.

If The Filth Wizard makes an executive decision and strips the co-captains of their titles, he will have half my support.

Seriously. Golumless is a ******* joke. Piss the **** off.

It's testament to Golumless' elite ability that the provocation for this outburst was simply:

Case 6: When is a team sheet not official?

The accused: @Golumless and @SSwans2011 of the West Coast Wonders

The charge: Not indicating their team sheet as 'Official Team Sheet'

Number 7
Dennis Confetti was right into the captain witch hunt come season 22 and old mate Golumless didn't disappoint with his round 1 team sheet. But Dennis becoming the resident little bitch of the league (thanks haydo) isn't what is important, what is important is the beautiful melt from our hero, Golumless. An excerpt:

Seriously, that?

Get ****** you pedantic piece of campaignershit.

Number 6
The notion of community service is well known to the public, but in the Sweet FA, circa season 25 it was a penalty that basically consisted of a form of public humiliation. Being a worthy captain, Golumless somewhat volunteered to be first in and best dressed when he incorrectly spelt Fryer Tuck's name. The league admin meted out the following as punishment:

Think the captains are more interested in the Superbowl today so may as well go with a verdict.

Gumbies FFC co-captains @Golumless and @SM for the incorrect spelling of @Fryer Tuck in your Round 1 official team sheet the Sweet FA Tribunal sentences you to one week of setting your avatar to this:



Please tag me in a post when you have changed your avatar. The penalty will expire exactly one week to the minute of your post. Ensure that your avatar is changed by 11:59pm tomorrow at the latest.

Case Closed


Golumless changed at 12:23am, 6th of Feb 2018 - penalty expires 12:23am 13th of Feb 2018

SM changed at 2:32pm, 6th of Feb 2018 - penalty expires at 2:32pm 13th of Feb 2018 (This Avatar is acceptable for SM)

​

Number 5
Remember number 8, all the way up there? Co-captain SSwans2011 said this regarding the punishment (or lack of) meted out due to that incident:

Bullshit. I'd rather the suspension.

So Golumless obliged a round later. Truth be told haydo had a hand in this one as well, but lets not let that get in the way of the story. A somewhat introspective Golumless commented on being brought before the league tribunal:

Really hasn't been our fortnight.

This is a wierd one for me especially as i still struggle with remembering rover is actually a position (I'm not asking for it to be changed, but rover/ruck rover really is a dead term). So i'm instantly sympathetic to anyone that messes it up. Doesn't mean much when it's my lad that stuffed up of course.

That said. Not a whole lot you can do. Just to clarify, are we suspended for this week, or next?

Tl;dr get ****** all you match thread vultures.

And thus, he was suspended, which he accepted with good grace:

Fair enough.

In all honesty, whilst we're in the gun for it, i do like the idea of a 4 point penalty for a third strike.

Two rounds later...

Number 4

The accused: @Golumless and @SSwans2011 of the West Coast Wonders

The charge: Spelling error in listed changes with Marklar_33 listed as Markalar_33.

As this is the THIRD time the Wonders have fronted the tribunal, as per the rules a guilty verdict will lead to a one match suspension for BOTH co-captains and also the docking of four premiership points.

Most of the committee thought this was a fairly bullshit charge, after all he got the name right in the actual team sheet. Except for Hate. Hate was a dickhead:

Save the rats, punish the Wonders.

So, a pretty soft charge, lots of support from fellow committee members (except that dickhead Hate), should mean that the league admin just let this one go, right? No, Golumless is elite! Much like a recent experience of squad ****ery, the league admin invoked rule 9:

As such.

The Wonders have been found GUILTY of an incorrect team submission. As this is their third strike both captains, @Golumless and @SSwans2011 will miss one game each in this upcoming round through suspension and the team will have four premiership points deducted from their current tally. Should the Wonders be penalised again this penalty will be repeated.

Side note: this entire tribunal thread makes me miss arseh*le Hate.


Number 3
Negative 24! he shouts with glee. In Season 23 former league antagonist HaroLad was building the Baghdad Bombers in his on vision of himself. He had recruited a young lad by the name of TheCoach16 who had been quite a decent performer for the team across that season. However, things fell foul and in the semi-final Haro elected to move his golden child to the interchange, to the unpleasant surprise of TC16.

Notably the team sheet was posted on a Tuesday, and in the following hours where there was some fallout:

That's the problem with pranks. Sometimes they backfire...

How did this backfire? Enter haydo:

Official West Coast Wonders Signing

With the ****storm happening right now in the Baghdad vs Swamprats thread, Baghdad are now without a coach for Season24. Everyone needs a bit of coach in their life and without a bit of coach, your club is in shambles. With that said, the West Coast Wonders now have a bit of coach in their life with TheCoach16 officially signing with the West Coast Wonders for Season 24.

After a poor season from the Wonders onfield, the signing of TheCoach is a huge scalp. Off-field he brings quality banter to the match threads, on-field he'll bring a lot of quality to the Centre position.

TheCoach16 has also been scouted by the Wonders with his potential, they have officially announced him apart of the leadership group in Season 24 as Vice-Captain.

#nocoachforbaghdad

Enter haydo again:

Honestly, who the **** would get off so much by playing a massive "prank" as they call it just to prove a point to themselves. A prank? How ******* old are you? Honestly? This whole Coach debacle was a shit stir and I for one has been played as a fool. As a captain of a club that is seriously struggling for posters, when Coach messaged me asking to join, you could imagine my excitement that a solid rookie poster was willing to join our club after the mass amount of PM's I have sent out trying to get someone to join our struggling club.

Now being told that it's all a joke, I am done with the SFA. What the **** has this place turned into? Hey, I would have been perfectly fine if Coach came to me and said, listen, this is all a joke play along with it... everything would have been fine and I'm all for one to have a piss fart around, but when it comes down to it, he distincly said at the end of the PM, this is serious and it was a done deal.

I'm done.... oh and TheCoach16 as I said in my PM, you're a deadset ****

So how does this relate to Golumless? It doesn't. But given the research time it took up I thought I'd mention it. What really happened was a few hours before the submission deadline miggs, being miggs, went and got himself carded, and despite the fact that it was pointed out to the Bombers captain, the suspended player was left in the team sheet. Golumless got rather happy that HaroLad had submitted a team sheet with a supposed invalid player in it, and wrote (a pretty shitty) thread. Ignoring the OP, this stoked a fair amount of debate as to whether the captain could have known about the suspension, the role of the leadership group in team submission, and the usual SFA banter.

A four goal penalty would have been fantastic, but the league admin was a wet blanket:

It's not even the relevant rule you clown.

4C) Eligibility - Players are subject to eligibility rules as per rule 3. If a player becomes ineligible after the deadline they will be allowed to play the match they are named in and will be considered ineligible for any subsequent matches after that. Players that receive Bigfooty site bans (red cards) should not be named to play games where reasonable. Where it is reasonable that a club was unaware of a player receiving a ban on BF, a penalty may be waived by the administrator. The player should miss a subsequent game or games to make up for games played while suspended. BigFooty 'take a day off' bans are not considered a reason to make a player ineligible.

The bolded will set you free.

Number 2
Some may argue that beez vendetta against Golumless' captaincy was to the detriment of league entertainment, however this media piece was exceptional, and it prompted this delightful melty response from you know who:

When SSwans and I stepped into the role of captains, the Wonders had hit rock bottom. Filthy is quite right that we were at the point two very green rookies had to step into the captaincy because @PVF, @croweater 41 and @TheFreshBanana had ****** off. I was a captain before i had even completed a season, Swans had gotten through 1 and a bit. The blame doesn't lie on us, it lies on the decisions and the recruiting in S17 and S18 more so then anything. We were just left to pick up the pieces.

Please take the time to enjoy the full gooeyness.


Number 1
In his absolute tour de force, Golumless presided over this utter dungheap of a season of club management:

Team                    P   W   L   D   Pen   For  Agnst     %     Pts  Streak    L5   Change   GB    Chase

yDragons FFC           16  12   4   -    -   1567  1482   105.74    48    8W    WWWWW    +1     Ldr     -
xWest Coast Wonders    16  11   5   -    -   1743  1560   111.73    44    1L    WLWWL    -1     -1      -
xRoys FFC              16  11   5   -    -   1633  1502   108.72    44    1W    LWLLW     -     -1      -
xEast Side Hawks       16  10   6   -    -   1681  1479   113.66    40    1W    WLLLW     -     -2      -
xBaghdad Bombers       16   9   7   -    -   1552  1607    96.58    36    1W    WWLLW     -     -3      -
xFighting Furies       16   8   8   -    -   1532  1667    91.90    32    3L    WWLLL     -     -4      -
xSin City Swamprats    16   7   9   -    -   1570  1550   101.29    28    1L    LWWWL     -     -5      -
xLas Vegas Bears       16   7   9   -    -   1589  1634    97.25    28    3W    LLWWW    +1     -5     Ldr
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
wGold City Royals      16   6   9   1    -   1577  1623    97.17    26    1L    WWLWL    -1     -5.5   -0.5
wMount Buller Demons   16   6  10   -    -   1558  1765    88.27    24    2L    LLWLL     -     -6.5   -1
wConey Island Warriors 16   4  11   1    -   1562  1613    96.84    18    2W    LLLWW     -     -7.5   -2.5
zGumbies FFC           16   3  11   2    8   1580  1662    95.07     8    2L    LLWLL     -     -10    -5

w - eliminated from finals contention
x - clinched finals berth
y - clinched minor premiership
z - clinched wooden spoon

It might be said the league administration was somewhat lenient towards Golumless' laissez faire attitude regarding team sheet submission, and the 8 points of penalties could have been much worse. In the end it is a neat coincidence that Golumless will celebrate his 150th game against the club he saved from the Season 25 Wooden Spoon.

​

To round out this nostalgic look at Golumless' elite tendencies with a prediction from Millky95 AKA ParxBoy (back when he could type actual words):

West Coast Wonders

IF... the Wonders manage to not lose a point due to invalid team sheets...

THEN... @Golumless might need to take the reigns solo.

 

[Agent93]

Happy 150th bloke!

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

NaturalDisaster this is how you knock out a "Top" list

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

oh yeah, and happy 150th

 

[Golumless]

The top 9 times Golumless got suspended, got someone else suspended, tried to get someone suspended, or just melted about suspension:​

Number 9
One can only imagine the look of utter glee that came over his face when Golumeless realised the embattled rookie captains of the Baghdad Bombers had messed up their team sheet formatting. After a week long farce due to Tony Lynn 15 and TheCoach16 being utterly inept at following league rules regarding squads it culminated in this:


All for a low grade penalty, a suspended sentence. It became clear to Golumless midway through his own thread that the Bombers captains he'd just dobbed in were already on a suspended sentence, and you could practically feel the joy radiating from South Australia when Cloud_ announced the suspension.


Number 8
Season 21 was probably Golumless' finest hour as a captain, and he clearly had the support of others in the league:

It's testament to Golumless' elite ability that the provocation for this outburst was simply:



Number 7
Dennis Confetti was right into the captain witch hunt come season 22 and old mate Golumless didn't disappoint with his round 1 team sheet. But Dennis becoming the resident little bitch of the league (thanks haydo) isn't what is important, what is important is the beautiful melt from our hero, Golumless. An excerpt:



Number 6
The notion of community service is well known to the public, but in the Sweet FA, circa season 25 it was a penalty that basically consisted of a form of public humiliation. Being a worthy captain, Golumless somewhat volunteered to be first in and best dressed when he incorrectly spelt Fryer Tuck's name. The league admin meted out the following as punishment:

View attachment 630843​

Number 5
Remember number 8, all the way up there? Co-captain SSwans2011 said this regarding the punishment (or lack of) meted out due to that incident:


So Golumless obliged a round later. Truth be told haydo had a hand in this one as well, but lets not let that get in the way of the story. A somewhat introspective Golumless commented on being brought before the league tribunal:

And thus, he was suspended, which he accepted with good grace:


Two rounds later...

Number 4


Most of the committee thought this was a fairly bullshit charge, after all he got the name right in the actual team sheet. Except for Hate. Hate was a dickhead:


So, a pretty soft charge, lots of support from fellow committee members (except that dickhead Hate), should mean that the league admin just let this one go, right? No, Golumless is elite! Much like a recent experience of squad ******y, the league admin invoked rule 9:


Side note: this entire tribunal thread makes me miss arseh*le Hate.


Number 3
Negative 24! he shouts with glee. In Season 23 former league antagonist HaroLad was building the Baghdad Bombers in his on vision of himself. He had recruited a young lad by the name of TheCoach16 who had been quite a decent performer for the team across that season. However, things fell foul and in the semi-final Haro elected to move his golden child to the interchange, to the unpleasant surprise of TC16.

Notably the team sheet was posted on a Tuesday, and in the following hours where there was some fallout:

How did this backfire? Enter haydo:

Enter haydo again:

So how does this relate to Golumless? It doesn't. But given the research time it took up I thought I'd mention it. What really happened was a few hours before the submission deadline miggs, being miggs, went and got himself carded, and despite the fact that it was pointed out to the Bombers captain, the suspended player was left in the team sheet. Golumless got rather happy that HaroLad had submitted a team sheet with a supposed invalid player in it, and wrote (a pretty shitty) thread. Ignoring the OP, this stoked a fair amount of debate as to whether the captain could have known about the suspension, the role of the leadership group in team submission, and the usual SFA banter.

A four goal penalty would have been fantastic, but the league admin was a wet blanket:



Number 2
Some may argue that beez vendetta against Golumless' captaincy was to the detriment of league entertainment, however this media piece was exceptional, and it prompted this delightful melty response from you know who:

Please take the time to enjoy the full gooeyness.


Number 1
In his absolute tour de force, Golumless presided over this utter dungheap of a season of club management:

Team                    P   W   L   D   Pen   For  Agnst     %     Pts  Streak    L5   Change   GB    Chase

yDragons FFC           16  12   4   -    -   1567  1482   105.74    48    8W    WWWWW    +1     Ldr     -
xWest Coast Wonders    16  11   5   -    -   1743  1560   111.73    44    1L    WLWWL    -1     -1      -
xRoys FFC              16  11   5   -    -   1633  1502   108.72    44    1W    LWLLW     -     -1      -
xEast Side Hawks       16  10   6   -    -   1681  1479   113.66    40    1W    WLLLW     -     -2      -
xBaghdad Bombers       16   9   7   -    -   1552  1607    96.58    36    1W    WWLLW     -     -3      -
xFighting Furies       16   8   8   -    -   1532  1667    91.90    32    3L    WWLLL     -     -4      -
xSin City Swamprats    16   7   9   -    -   1570  1550   101.29    28    1L    LWWWL     -     -5      -
xLas Vegas Bears       16   7   9   -    -   1589  1634    97.25    28    3W    LLWWW    +1     -5     Ldr
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
wGold City Royals      16   6   9   1    -   1577  1623    97.17    26    1L    WWLWL    -1     -5.5   -0.5
wMount Buller Demons   16   6  10   -    -   1558  1765    88.27    24    2L    LLWLL     -     -6.5   -1
wConey Island Warriors 16   4  11   1    -   1562  1613    96.84    18    2W    LLLWW     -     -7.5   -2.5
zGumbies FFC           16   3  11   2    8   1580  1662    95.07     8    2L    LLWLL     -     -10    -5

w - eliminated from finals contention
x - clinched finals berth
y - clinched minor premiership
z - clinched wooden spoon

It might be said the league administration was somewhat lenient towards Golumless' laissez faire attitude regarding team sheet submission, and the 8 points of penalties could have been much worse. In the end it is a neat coincidence that Golumless will celebrate his 150th game against the club he saved from the Season 25 Wooden Spoon.

View attachment 630842​

To round out this nostalgic look at Golumless' elite tendencies with a prediction from Millky95 AKA ParxBoy (back when he could type actual words):

If you consider the butterfly effect, points 5 and 4 were the reason the Wonders won a premiership.

I'm still paying that off from the sim, but a true example of how I've been playing chess in this league whilst the rest of you have struggled with checkers.

 

[SSwans2011]

The best part about all those season 21 mishaps is we ended up wining the Premiership.

Had we not been docked four points, who knows what difference it would have made to the sim? I'm not suggesting teams should make team sheet errors more often, but Golumless, haydo and myself had more success than every other team that season, including a number of teams hat made no team sheet errors. Perhaps the greatest Premiership win in league history, really.

 

[Golumless]

The best part about all those season 21 mishaps is we ended up wining the Premiership.

Had we not been docked four points, who knows what difference it would have made to the sim? I'm not suggesting teams should make team sheet errors more often, but Golumless, haydo and myself had more success than every other team that season, including a number of teams hat made no team sheet errors. Perhaps the greatest Premiership win in league history, really.

tl;dr **** beez

 

[Rodney Dangerfield]

Great stuff Golly.

 

[Agent93]

tl;dr **** beez

Half the fun of that season 21 stuff is reading beez ranting at you guys.

 

[Golumless]

Half the fun of that season 21 stuff is reading beez ranting at you guys.

I'm pretty sure that was half the fun for us as well.

 

[Hate]

It took you a while to get there, but you are there. Good job Golumless. Solid thread Agent93.

The committee and tribunal back then was always great fun to take part in. There was not a moment where it wasn't entertaining. The Wonders had half their team listed as their captains and still managed to make a mess of things. The 20 stooges. It was brilliant. Everyone came out to play.

 

[fumbler]

Well done player

 

[The Filth Wizard]

I like that Golumless kid.

 

[Golumless]

I like that Golumless kid.

Thanks dad.

 

[beez]

Half the fun of that season 21 stuff is reading beez ranting at you guys.

I'm pretty sure that was half the fun for us as well.

He's a bit of a grumpy-bum, that one.

 

[Sab22]

It's not too late, sit out till the trade period. Play your 150th for your beloved Wonders, it makes sense. Golumless

Make it happen Dingster

 

[NaturalDisaster]

Congratulations on 150 Golumless

Thought you played like 200

 

[SSwans2011]

Congratulations on 150 Golumless

Thought you played like 200

You forgot to subtract the suspensions.

 

[Golumless]

It's not too late, sit out till the trade period. Play your 150th for your beloved Wonders, it makes sense. Golumless

Make it happen Dingster

And ditch my now beloved Hawks? nah.

 

[Sab22]

And ditch my now beloved Hawks? nah.

Do you want that prestigious 2nd premiership?

 

[Golumless]

Do you want that prestigious 2nd premiership?

I'm in the right place for that.

Though, fair call, I too doubt the Wonders will ever win another one without me in the lineup.

 

[Sab22]

I'm in the right place for that.

Though, fair call, I too doubt the Wonders will ever win another one without me in the lineup.

Big call, I just think bringing back one of Wonder's most controversial yet favourite son to complete the dynasty makes sense.

 

[Agent93]

Big call, I just think bringing back one of Wonder's most controversial yet favourite son to complete the dynasty makes sense.

haydo just left mate.

 

[Golumless]

haydo just left mate.

Mate he's got nothing on me