Banter The No Dazzlering Big Cricket Thread - 2025/26 Ashes Edition

[Tugga27]

 

[matthew_s]

View attachment 2499855

Uzman putting a 2nd shirt on the most exercise he's done in years.

 

[Bender_]

Winning and retaining the Ashes is great and all, but the real joy comes from watching Piers Morgan eat a giant bowl of shit.

 

[DorothyG]

I don’t think there is anything inherently wrong, or new behind the philosophy of Bazball.

It’s just trying to increase the run rate by scoring more boundaries in favour of turning the strike over frequently.
The Australians were doing this to great success in the Hayden/Gilchrist/Pointing era. Run rates of +4 an over were the norm. But, the increase in aggression was calculated and selective and not all out.

Problem for current English iteration is that they have only shown an all or none mentality. They haven’t shown a willingness to change gears and slow down when required. The few times they have, the game was already shot.

High run rate as the default an not a tool.

The Australian grounds are also much larger boundaries than those in England which bazball for the English was developed.
Smaller boundaries, flatter decks, softening duke ball all reward a more areal risk than the Australian conditions offer. A six in Trent Bridge would be caught on the boundary at Melbourne

It’s been both a tactical and implementation disaster. If they opted for a tactic of first gain control, than expand your scoring shots in favour of “non-stop attack”, they would probably have fared better.
You also need the players with the skills and mentality to implement the tactic without constant collapses, which they have shown, they don’t

 

[Doashuey]

he has been bowling with the test squad for some time....you dont have him part of the squad just for training

Still others ahead of him, as evidenced by the selection of Doggett and Neser.
As I said, I suspect he is too risky, especially without Lyon now and Starc being the only bowler left with a lot of Test experience. Last thing we need is Richo to go down in the 1st innings and the extra load results in Starc getting injured as well.

 

[Westend]

Still others ahead of him, as evidenced by the selection of Doggett and Neser.
As I said, I suspect he is too risky, especially without Lyon now and Starc being the only bowler left with a lot of Test experience. Last thing we need is Richo to go down in the 1st innings and the extra load results in Starc getting injured as well.

If he is fit he is fit ..anyone can go down as we just saw with lyon

I have Jhye way ahead of Doggett...and in front of Neser

we need some airspeed with Cummins out

 

[Westend]

I don’t think there is anything inherently wrong, or new behind the philosophy of Bazball.

It’s just trying to increase the run rate by scoring more boundaries in favour of turning the strike over frequently.
The Australians were doing this to great success in the Hayden/Gilchrist/Pointing era. Run rates of +4 an over were the norm. But, the increase in aggression was calculated and selective and not all out.

Problem for current English iteration is that they have only shown an all or none mentality. They haven’t shown a willingness to change gears and slow down when required. The few times they have, the game was already shot.

High run rate as the default an not a tool.

The Australian grounds are also much larger boundaries than those in England which bazball for the English was developed.
Smaller boundaries, flatter decks, softening duke ball all reward a more areal risk than the Australian conditions offer. A six in Trent Bridge would be caught on the boundary at Melbourne

It’s been both a tactical and implementation disaster. If they opted for a tactic of first gain control, than expand your scoring shots in favour of “non-stop attack”, they would probably have fared better.
You also need the players with the skills and mentality to implement the tactic without constant collapses, which they have shown, they don’t

The big issues with there batters is that they are suited for the flat decks of England as they have ordered and it has bit them in the arse

All of the top five Crawley Duckett Pope Root and Brook love to run the ball down to third man...its there relief shot...they did it heaps against India ...they love to play with the angled bat and get off strike/rotate....and it does work in those conditions....but coming to Australia you have bounce and pace...you just can't play with an angled bat...and we have seen the results...nicks galore

 

[Tugga27]

If he is fit he is fit ..anyone can go down as we just saw with lyon

I have Jhye way ahead of Doggett...and in front of Neser

we need some airspeed with Cummins out

Pretty sure the selectors knew Cummins might only be fit for one test and that's why Jhye was invited to train with the squad.

Otherwise, it made no sense to invite him IMO.

 

[Truckosaurus]

No wonder they're struggling, look at the Dicks they have in charge:

 

[Truckosaurus]

Sixes: Social cricket-themed bar chain goes into administration

The chain, which is backed in part by England captain Ben Stokes, is remaining open for business except at one venue.

www.bbc.com

Sixes, the cricket-themed social chain backed by England captain Ben Stokes, has gone into administration following a "challenging trading period".

He is having a bad week.

 

[Mr Eagle]

Sixes: Social cricket-themed bar chain goes into administration

The chain, which is backed in part by England captain Ben Stokes, is remaining open for business except at one venue.

www.bbc.com

He is having a bad week.

Apparently it had a terrible shot selection.

 

[Doashuey]

If he is fit he is fit ..anyone can go down as we just saw with lyon

I have Jhye way ahead of Doggett...and in front of Neser

we need some airspeed with Cummins out

He is currently fit and has been for only a short while. He has a very long history of breaking down regularly and the selectors know this. It doesn't really matter who you have ahead of who- the selectors have already picked both Doggett and Neser ahead of him and given the current depth in the team, it is hard to see them taking a big gamble on a guy who has thrown his shoulder out completing a high 5 over a couple of very durable players including one who just took a 5-fer in his last innings.
I like Jhye but feel he is a short format cricketer only now due to his injury issues. I'm not ruling out the possibility- I didn't think Inglis would get selected over Webster (and still think he shouldn't have been)- but I think Neser would be much shorter odds and would be who I would go with. It would be great to see Richo get another opportunity at Test level, I love the pace and aggression he brings, I just think it is unlikely.

 

[Carbine Chaos]

Jhye wouldn't be around the squad if he wasn't at least in contention.

I suspect he's ahead of Doggett if fit, but hard to justify Neser not coming in for Boxing Day.

 

[Doashuey]

Jhye wouldn't be around the squad if he wasn't at least in contention.

I suspect he's ahead of Doggett if fit, but hard to justify Neser not coming in for Boxing Day.

Obviously they are looking at him. If it was just Cummins out then he would be a reasonable chance. But with Lyon also out, we will have a very inexperienced spinner replacing him with Starc the only bowler to have over 20 Tests experience it makes it less likely for us to bring in a guy with a suspect injury history. I guess we will find out in a few days.

 

[Westend]

feel for Morris what a worst time to be injured

 

[RookiePick]

Carey being able to keep up to the stumps to guys bowling mid 130s has been the single most important element to negating England's batting plans and making our second tier quicks effective.

England made Boland look terrible at Perth by hitting him off his length. The last two tests he's been a pressure cooker and a big part of the bowling unit getting on top.

A tactical masterstroke and only enabled by Carey's elite glove work.

Otherwise the Aussies are just giving England a lesson on test cricket basics. You can see England have the talent to compete but you can't win 1 session a day and concede 2 and think you will win in Australia.

 

[THE A5]

No wonder they're struggling, look at the Dicks they have in charge:
View attachment 2500023View attachment 2500024

I dunno, they have two BSD’s

 

[Tugga27]

The Poms are on a hiding to nothing now.

They will be expected to win the last two tests without Cummins, Lyon and Hazlewood.
I haven't heard anything about Smith being OK which is also a worry.

If they do lose, they will get slaughtered.

 

[Eagleing]

No wonder they're struggling, look at the Dicks they have in charge:
View attachment 2500023View attachment 2500024

I don’t post much, but this is a bit crap. Going after blokes who work in offices with a write up saying what they do for charity is just weird. So much ammo to go after the poms with, this isn’t it

 

[Mr Eagle]

I don’t post much, but this is a bit crap. Going after blokes who work in offices with a write up saying what they do for charity is just weird. So much ammo to go after the poms with, this isn’t it

Mate you are waaaay overthinking this one.

 

[TheNumber9]

I don’t post much, but this is a bit crap. Going after blokes who work in offices with a write up saying what they do for charity is just weird. So much ammo to go after the poms with, this isn’t it

I think it was more a joke about them both having the first name Richard, aka Dick, than any personal attack towards them mate.

 

[Westend]

The Poms are on a hiding to nothing now.

They will be expected to win the last two tests without Cummins, Lyon and Hazlewood.
I haven't heard anything about Smith being OK which is also a worry.

If they do lose, they will get slaughtered.

I still think the poms can win one tuggs...and I am sticking with my pre series prediction of 3-1 to Aus

But you are right they are going to cop it. I do think they have underperformed so far with the talent they have got...I can see harry brook getting his shit together and scoring big these next two tests....he is a jet of a player when on....and smith has found some form thats a worry.

and with our attack being old/injured I can see the poms cashing in

Smudge was seen with a beer ....I think he will be fine come Boxing Day

 

[Tugga27]

I still think the poms can win one tuggs...and I am sticking with my pre series prediction of 3-1 to Aus

But you are right they are going to cop it. I do think they have underperformed so far with the talent they have got...I can see harry brook getting his shit together and scoring big these next two tests....he is a jet of a player when on....and smith has found some form thats a worry.

and with our attack being old/injured I can see the poms cashing in

Smudge was seen with a beer ....I think he will be fine come Boxing Day

I'd be surprised if they don't win at least one of the next two Westy.

 

[squashface]

I don’t post much, but this is a bit crap. Going after blokes who work in offices with a write up saying what they do for charity is just weird. So much ammo to go after the poms with, this isn’t it

Unlucky that 1 of your 4 posts in 15 years is you completely missing the joke to stand up for some execs.

 

[Truckosaurus]

I don’t post much, but this is a bit crap. Going after blokes who work in offices with a write up saying what they do for charity is just weird. So much ammo to go after the poms with, this isn’t it