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You pick it up and the license says jack Ginni van. As you start to get u p there is coke in the toilet seat. You start to get ready to sniff but a big man enters the stall. You a are Jack do you sniff or run out of the toilets

Kyle Langford is probably vice captain It's an improvement on james hird as coach but leadership over there is lacking. I would suggest putting random things in a blender taking the lid off, then turning it on, and then make the mess your captain instead

Harding from One flew over the Cuckoos Nest. I don't know if he was a crab though.

How good did my boy look yesterday

The Dees are revolutionising the game with the strongest ruck division ever, while the Luons are being coached by a coach who practises apartheid. My Dees by 48 points in a win for humanity

The Brions haven't seen their families in weeks and Fagan has promised he'll give them proof of life if they win. Brions by 16 goals.

The entire season will be a donkey ride to immortality for Pendles, as he coasts to being the biggest ball winner of all time, leaving chipscabs like Robert Harvey, Sam Mitchell and Gary Ablett Jnr in his dust. And he's doing it like he does everything, with complete ease. 27 disposals...

Lead story in the papers today is that Jordan de Goey has a dog. And he's turning his life around.

It's going to be very embarrassing for Carlton.

I don't want to be racist or anything. [Well I do want to be racist but that's not the point here] but Jackson ugle Howard got the bullflogs sort of excited when he wasn't completely useless for a few games. Unfortunately the season ended his momentum and now he has to try and learn how to...

Count the number of days since you ate a potato or potato food like chips. This is your teams highest winning streak this year.

I'm ready to win again, is there footy this week?

Chicken nugget I think is tom Mitchell because he's nuggety but he's also chicken

Pride is one of the seven deadly sins. In the scriptures they say pride goeth before the fall I don't think that's the message that everyone intends. How about love round? ❤️

Every other player hides under the 3 strike rule but Ginni as I call him gets instant match suspensions Every other player gets free kicks for head high contact but Ginni gets throttled without a free kick. Ginni doesn't even appear on the media or anything, he just sticks his tongue out...

Hello I'm Melbourne Fremantle have decided to rename themselves Wallyalup which is indigenous for "nathan fyfes helicopter kicks" Once again the rest of you turds is copying us. We are the firsr team, now the first indigenous named team. I expect all you suckholes to get on board with your...

I don't want to brag or anything but I probably only voted in there one time out of sheer boredom

The boomers say that there's no full forwards anymore but there totally are key forwards which is the same thing. We have strikers which are like the rock stars of the game. So the game is now fixed until another coach finds out how to exploit the rules. Obviously the competition is more...

Still more inspirational than Dyson Heppell

According to zackah's post in the RUOK thread, this topic is appropriate as long as we're not trolling. Lately i have felt like driving my car off the road. That's probably the only real danger I am to myself because it could be done very Impulsively. I feel like setting fire to myself...

Sometimes you can just tell

Josh Hunt doesn't count. And how long until the media then try to portray this as the player giving their all?

A is for Amphetamine

Carlton will s**t the bed again this year. I had a gastro fever dream and I saw Carlton cheer squad idiots crying or depressed and looking down at their smartphones. Also, Curnow should be turned from a FF into a striker. That is all.

10 years on and now that the smoke has cleared we can see there was no fire. Just a lot of hysteria about steroids, or safety, none of which was an actual issue. 0 positive drug tests 0 charges against the coaching staff Only something about governance because the Bombers didn't sweep their...

Even though my team always wins i feel like I'd prefer watching something else because the game isn't good enough to have to sit through afl commentary What are your thoughts?

Renowned in the past for their cringey flavours, David Koch and Ken Hinkley(pictured below) have now turned their focus exclusively to producing the most putrid blends imaginable. This year's offering is no exception, with perhaps the worst vintage yet to come out of Alberton. The average...

Man child who got picked no.1 because he played well against seniors in crappy leagues but has already shown he laxks the size skill or speed to make it at AFL level. Enjoy your spud Port.

Spare a thought for the Tigers today, they will be hurting.