Prediction 2018 Wishful Headlines

[luca77]

What headlines do we want to see in 2018? Be as optimistic as you like.

 

[luca77]

I'll kick it off.
"Sinclair plays down AA talk".
"Acres flattered by GOAT nickname. Unfazed by heavy tag."

 

[Jughead77]

"Damien Barrett resigns after new allegations of improper sexual conduct with animals surface."

#fidopedo #smoochpooch #metoo

 

[CALL ME SNAKE]

"Damien Barrett resigns after new allegations of improper sexual conduct with animals surface."

Will never happen.
No animal would ever stoop so low .

 

[CursingFijian]

McCartin Pluggs Huge Hole For the Saints

2017 may have been annus horribilis for Paddy McCartin, but 15 goals in the opening two weeks is helping Saints fans consign those memories to the scrap heap.

 

[Dr Spaceman]

"Damien Barrett resigns after new allegations of improper sexual conduct with animals surface."

Will never happen.
No animal would ever stoop so low .

 

[Keg on legs]

McCartin Pluggs Huge Hole For the Saints

2017 may have been annus horribilis for Paddy McCartin, but 15 goals in the opening two weeks is helping Saints fans consign those memories to the scrap heap.

Go on you sexy wordsmith......

 

[luca77]

Weller back in town. Gives credit to chamomile tea.

 

[st_trav_ofWA]

Nic Nat Paddy Whacked! - St Kilda Spearhead puts concussion concerns to bed after best on ground performance after huge collision early in the first qtr sends Natinui out of the game...

Freezer Burn.. - luckless Saint make impressive AFL debut with 35 possesion 3 goal outing

Jack takes home the top Billings - Monday nights Brownlow capped of an amazing breakout year for St Kilda star Jack Billings after dominating the second half of 2018 leading his saints to their first finals apperance since 2011 Billings chased down and over took the bookies favorite Bulldog Marcus Bontepelli to become the Saints 11th brownlow medal win..

the Membrey Remains - St Kilda spear head Tim Membrey joins Blake Acres in signing long term contracts linking them to the club for a further 3 years.. Membrey the current Colman medal leader told reporters that while there was intrest from other clubs there never was any doubt of not comitting to the Saints. Midfield dynamo Blake Acres squashed talk of a return to Perth after breakout year with the Saints "The lure to return home isnt something that interests me winning flags for St Kilda is my only goal" Acres explained

 

[cooperrules]

Stkilda enter 10 players into the biggest loser

 

[Yabadoo22]

Saints young guns make history

Hunter Clark and nick coffield have made history at today's nab afl rising star award with the pair drawing the coveted award. The pair ended 30 votes clear of there next best opponent after outstanding debut seasons leading the saints to finals for the first time in 6 years. Clark averaged a whopping 26 possessions and a goal in his first season while teammate coffield looks to be Marcus bontempelli 2.0 but with a few more strings to his bow.

 

[Kilroy]

StKilda - the place to be

Saints supporters everywhere cannot believe their good fortune as StKilda became THE destination club of 2018. A year ago the Saints failed to woo big name players to the club but that has all changed with three big stars signing up during this year's trade period.

 

[sunny3193]

Hubric Hawks Humbled

 

[RWBlyf]

St Kilda PREMIERS has more than unearthed the RWB army they're out in full force and never have we seen anything like this. Who would've thought?

 

[Yabadoo22]

Opinion piece from Damien Barrett:

Our midfields the best, chuck out the rest

After once being labeled slow and lacking a grade talent, the saints now boast the best midfield in the comp, and by a long way. Seb ross backed up his stellar 2017 season will a damaging 2018 becoming the premier midfielder in the Comp. jack Steven silinced the doubters who didn't think he was elite while midfield bulls luke dunstan and jack Steele have surpassed Dangerfield and Selwood as the deadliest midfield combo. This as well as jack newnes on a wing along with all Australian pair jack Sinclair and Blake acres has seen st kilda finish top 4 for the first time since 2010

 

[Flandersss]

GT & Cousins to take the reigns at St Kilda!

 

[Smoke_Me_AKipper]

Big Footy Wedding Announcement:

After years of sexual tension and flirting and with the advent of same sex marriage now being law in Australia, it is now our great pleasure to announce the impending nuptials of Barrels and SK_MD_#7

The ceremony will take place at Moorabbin Town Hall with the reception at RSEA Park and all are invited to share this happy, joyous and dare I say it momentous occasion.

The happy couple ask that instead of gifts could guests please donate to the mighty St Kilda Football Club

 

[Keg on legs]

IF:

The saints beat the bulldogs this weekend

THEN:

They will break their greatest ever winning streak of 19 straight games, set in a golden 2009.

 

[CALL ME SNAKE]

Tattslotto winner buys Saints and relocates them.

Man relocates Saints to the outer West of Melbourne after he wins Tattslotto.
In a shock move the St.Kilda supporter used his winnings to buy the Saints and move their training headquarters to his backyard. Despite some resistance over changing their name to 'The Snakeilda Football Club' the players were eventually won over after seeing the mans fully stocked Beer Fridge

A press conference with Matt Finnis and the man known as CALL ME SNAKE was cancelled at the last minute due to a domestic dispute between the man and his wife. Reporters apparently heard the mans wife saying " If you think im washing all those f******g footy jumpers youve got rocks in your head".
Witnesses claim she was then seen driving away to stay at her Mothers house while the man was dancing in his driveway singing the StKilda song.

 

[luca77]

Switched at birth!
Dogs' father sons all revealed to be sons of St Kilda stars. Dogs banned from drafting and conceiving for 5 years.

 

[st_trav_ofWA]

IF:

The saints beat the bulldogs this weekend

THEN:

They will break their greatest ever winning streak of 19 straight games, set in a golden 2009.

please it would more likely be :

IF:

The saints beat the bulldogs this weekend

THEN:

They will break their greatest ever winning streak of 19 straight games, set in a golden 2009 but the still havent beaten anyone above them #flattrack

 

[DGontheQT]

SCOTT WATTERS WAS RIGHT - It is now December and St.Kilda have dominated all things AFL , all year , with even their biggest critic , me -"Purple" , declaring that they are now a "JUGGERNAUGHT". The manner in which St.Kilda won the 2018 premiership will be remembered for all time , as their undefeated season was defined by the fact their lowest winning margin of 10 goals vs North Melbourne in Round 23 , came about as a result of St.Kilda resting their entire team before the finals. It was essentially Sandringham that won that day , on their way to the VFL Premiership. Like Richmond before them , the Saints scooped all the awards with Clark , McCartin , Billings and Steven winning the Rising Star , Coleman , Brownlow and Norm Smith respectively. Billings also took out the AFLPA MVP. It didn't stop there. Such also was Sandringham's dominant year , the Saints were able to trade 4 fringe players , for 3 extra 1st Rounders this year , and another in 2019. Also ,with the move to Moorabbin being an unmitigated success , and the club now being 8 million in the black , with more dollars to come from the 80,000 members already signed up for 2019 , this "JUGGERNAUGHT" does not look like slowing down anytime soon. When McCartin took what was to be mark of the year , over Christian Petracca , during St.Kilda's 80 point Grand Final victory over upstart side Melbourne , who would of thought , that story would be lost in the haze , amongst so much success. DAMIEN BARRETT.

 

[Keg on legs]

SCOTT WATTERS WAS RIGHT - It is now December and St.Kilda have dominated all things AFL , all year , with even their biggest critic , me -"Purple" , declaring that they are now a "JUGGERNAUGHT". The manner in which St.Kilda won the 2018 premiership will be remembered for all time , as their undefeated season was defined by the fact their lowest winning margin of 10 goals vs North Melbourne in Round 23 , came about as a result of St.Kilda resting their entire team before the finals. It was essentially Sandringham that won that day , on their way to the VFL Premiership. Like Richmond before them , the Saints scooped all the awards with Clark , McCartin , Billings and Steven winning the Rising Star , Coleman , Brownlow and Norm Smith respectively. Billings also took out the AFLPA MVP. It didn't stop there. Such also was Sandringham's dominant year , the Saints were able to trade 4 fringe players , for 3 extra 1st Rounders this year , and another in 2019. Also ,with the move to Moorabbin being an unmitigated success , and the club now being 8 million in the black , with more dollars to come from the 80,000 members already signed up for 2019 , this "JUGGERNAUGHT" does not look like slowing down anytime soon. When McCartin took what was to be mark of the year , over Christian Petracca , during St.Kilda's 80 point Grand Final victory over upstart side Melbourne , who would of thought , that story would be lost in the haze , amongst so much success. DAMIEN BARRETT.

Well, if you're gonna go, you may as well go 110%

 

[Keg on legs]

Actually, following on from my sliding doors post earlier, an even more hopeful headline would be:

IF

The rumours of my sacking are true

THEN

I'll disappear back under a rock where I belong

 

[CursingFijian]

ESSENDON DRUG SAGA REIGNITES

The Essendon drug saga has erupted again after the recent arrests of key staff at the club. The AFL has called a press conference...

Oh. Wait.