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jenny61_99

jenny61_99

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Veteran 10k Posts 30k Posts Footy Club Survivor 1: Adelaide Voter TheBrownDog Adelaide Goal Kicking Comp
Feb 22, 2006
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The Pope and Kevin Rudd are on the same stage in front of a huge crowd at theAFL Grand Final.

The Pope leaned towards Mr. Rudd and said, "Do you know that with one little movement of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy?

This joy will not be a momentary display, like those believers in a football match, but go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this day and rejoice!"

Rudd replied, "I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me"
So the Pope backhanded the bastard.
 
nice :thumbsu: haha.

A Fox Sports reporter is interviewing the Crows and Power coaches. First of all he speaks to Mark Williams: “so Chocco, what are your hopes for the Power this season"

Mark replies: "Well if we can win the odd game or two, maybe give a few of the fancy teams a scare, I think we'll call it a good season"

The reporter then interviews Neil Craig: "so Neil what are your hopes for the Crows this season and in the future?"

Neil replies "I think we're a great chance for the Minor Premiership - perhaps even going through the season undefeated. After that I can't see many teams challenging us in the finals, and we might even break the record score in the Grand Final……"

The Fox reporter interrupts "Neil, don't you think you're being just a little bit ambitious?"

"Well Mark started it!" replied Craig.
 

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A primary teacher explains to her class that she is a Essendon fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Essendon fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not a Essendon fan," she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not a Essendon fan, then who are you a fan of?" "I am a St Kilda fan, and proud of it," Mary replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. "Mary, why, pray tell, are you a St Kilda fan?" "Because my Mum is a St Kilda fan,and my Dad is a St Kilda fan, so I'm a St Kilda fan too!" "Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, "that is no reason for you to be a St Kilda fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would you be then?" "Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be an Essendon fan."
 
A genie appears to a Carlton supporter and says,
"You may have 3 wishes, but i must warn you, whatever you wish for, Collingwood supporters will get double the amount"

The Carlton fan wished for a car, so all collingwood fans got two cars.
Then the Carlton fan wished for a million dollars, so all collingwood fans got 2 milion dollars.

Finally, coming to his senses, realising that the collingwood fans were getting double what he was wishing for, the carlton fan said
"you know, ive always wanted to donate a kidney"
 
Port Power training was cancelled the other day due to a suspicious white powder found on the field.
After calling in the police and having the substance inspected it was
discovered this substance was in fact the goal square.
Training resumed as it was assumed Port Power would never encounter this substance again. :D
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Question: What is your wife trying to tell you if she's wearing a Port Power shirt to bed?
Answer: You ain't gonna score!!! :D
 
Out of left field Brisbane recruit a 6'10" African for 2010.
Very athletic but no football experience. They decide to put him in the forward line. At the first training session Voss gets all the forwards together to go thru' the game-plan. He speaks very slowly:
'Brisbane man get ball in midfield. When you see, you run toward Brisbane man. Brisbane man kick ball to you. You catch ball..'
The African pipes up: 'Mr Voss, I can speak perfect English Sir.'
Voss replies 'Yes I know. I was talking to Fev.'
 

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This joke needs to be said during the season before a showdown, but oh well it's a showdown this weekend so:
The Crows pre-game huddle this week will be in the shape of a diamond to show Port what 4 points look like...


What do you call a hot a chick in Port Adelaide?
A tourist

Why do you never hit a Port supporter on a bike?
It could be your bike.

Two Port supporters jump off a roof, who wins?
Society.

Why do Port supporters stink?
So blind people can hate them too.

What's the difference between God and Warren Tredrea?
God doesn't think he's Warren Tredrea

You know you're a Port supporter when you allow your 12 year old daughter smoke at the table in front of her kids.

I could go on forever...
 
Eddie wanted to see how smart the current day players were so James Brayshaw called over Nathan Thompson and said,"Tomo, who's your father's wife's son?" He said, "Why thats me", replied Nathan Thompson. So Eddie went back to Collingwood to test one of his players knowledge and said to Alan Didak, "Hey Dids, do you know who your father's wife's son is?" Eddie said. But Alan didn't know the answer straight away and asked Eddie to come back and ask him the same question in 24 hours.

So when Alan went home he still couldn't figure it out until he said, "I know! I'll ring up Spider, he's usaully pretty smart." so he asked the same question to Spider and his answer was himself. So the next day Alan met up with Eddie and said, "Eddie! Eddie, i know the answer," "What is it then?" Replied Eddie. "It's Spider Everett!" Said Alan. "No it isn't!" Shouted Eddie, "It's Nathan Thompson."
 
Where was the toothbrush invented?
Port Adelaide because if it was invented anywhere else, it would've been called the teethbrush.

What has 100 legs and 4 teeth?
The front row of the Port Adelaide cheersquad

Why shouldn't you swerve to hit a Port fan on a bicycle?
It might be yours

50,000 Port fans attend a "Port fans are not stupid" convention.
Mark Williams says, "We are all here today to prove that Port fans are not stupid, can I have a volunteer."

Dean Brogan gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.

Mark asks him. "What's 10 plus 10?"

After a couple of minutes, Brogan shouts out. "34!"

The Port fans are a bit disappointed but they all start chanting. "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!

Mark says, "Well since we had the trouble of getting 50,000 Port supporters to one place, I think I can give him another chance."

Mark asks Dean, "What is 8 divided by 4?

After stalling for a minute, Dean nervously says, 5?

Mark is disappointed and everyone is down. Dean starts crying but the Port fans jump to their feet and scream "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

Mark takes a while to think and says "All right, we will give him one more chance..."

He asks, "What's 4 plus 4?"

After 30 seconds Dean lets out a gasp.

"8?"

Pandemonium breaks out.

All 50,000 Port fans jump to their feet, wave their arms and scream "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"
 
This joke was previously posted by Sin City, and has been reworked with his permission:

Choco wanted to see how smart the Power players were. He checked with Craigy, who called over Nathan van Berlo and asked "VB, who's your father's wife's son?"
"Why, that’s me", replied Nathan van Berlo.
So Choco went back to Alberton to test one of his players. He said to Dean Brogan, "Hey Dean, do you know who your father's wife's son is?"
But Dean couldn’t answer and asked Choco to come back and ask him the same question in 24 hours.

At home Dean still couldn't figure it out, so he said, "I know! I'll ring up Matty Primus, he's usually pretty smart."
He rings up Primus, asks the question and is told that the answer was himself.
Next day Brogan met up with Choco and said, "Choco! Choco, I know the answer!"
"What is it then?" replied Choco
"It's Matty Primus!" said Brogan.
"No it isn't!" shouted Choco, "It's Nathan van Berlo."
 

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Andrew Demetriou dies (probably under suspicious circumstances, hehe) and goes up to Heaven. When he arrives, there is an incredibly long line. "What a joke!" he thinks to himself, then pushes his way past countless deserving individuals. When he arrives at the front he brushes aside the frail chap at front and demands the attention of St Peter. Deciding the best way to handle this situation is just to go with it, St Peter asks for his name. "ANDREW DEMETRIOU. CEO OF THE AFL, EMPEROR OF ALL LANDS SOUTH OF THE SWAMP AND WEST OF THE HAY PLAINS!" Demetriou boldly stated. After a brief flick through his giant book, St Peter shrugs his shoulders and meekly replies "I'm sorry mate, you're not listed". Demetriou goes bright with embarrassment and anger ready to burst into a furor, when St Peter pulls a lever next to him, down goes Demetriou to Hell. Straight after there appears to be another tall gentleman pushing his way through the crowd, but he has long white hair and a magnificent beard. "I'm Andrew Demetriou!" he announces and walks straight through the Pearly Gates without a moment's hesitation from St Peter. Someone in the crowd arks up "That wasn't Andrew Demetriou, you just sent the real one to eternal damnation!" "Oh, I know. That was actually God himself. He only thinks he's Demetriou!"


* Adapted from a Paul Keating joke
 
roo2macca said:
Where was the toothbrush invented?
Port Adelaide because if it was invented anywhere else, it would've been called the teethbrush.

What has 100 legs and 4 teeth?
The front row of the Port Adelaide cheersquad

Why shouldn't you swerve to hit a Port fan on a bicycle?
It might be yours

500 Port fans attend a "Port fans are not stupid" convention.
Mark Williams says, "We are all here today to prove that Port fans are not stupid, can I have a volunteer."

Dean Brogan gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.

Mark asks him. "What's 10 plus 10?"

After a couple of minutes, Brogan shouts out. "34!"

The Port fans are a bit disappointed but they all start chanting. "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!

Mark says, "Well since we had the trouble of getting 500 Port supporters to one place, I think I can give him another chance."

Mark asks Dean, "What is 8 divided by 4?

After stalling for a minute, Dean nervously says, 5?

Mark is disappointed and everyone is down. Dean starts crying but the Port fans jump to their feet and scream "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

Mark takes a while to think and says "All right, we will give him one more chance..."

He asks, "What's 4 plus 4?"

After 30 seconds Dean lets out a gasp.

"8?"

Pandemonium breaks out.

All 500 Port fans jump to their feet, wave their arms and scream "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"
Click to expand...


Edited for accuracy:thumbsu:
 
Three women with footy-fan husbands are discussing their relationships.
The first says, "My husband follows the Lions and let me tell you our sex life is like one premiership after another."
The second says, "My husband is a Crows man and every night is like the back-to-back victories of 1997 and '98."
They then look at their friend, who hasn't yet said a thing.
"What's wrong," they say as their friend starts sobbing. "Well," she says hesitantly, "my husband supports Collingwood, and all he does is sit on the end of the bed and tell me how wonderful it's going to be."
 

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