Age difference in relationship- your thoughts?

[David Votoupal]

Alright, I've been thinking for a long time...

I'll be the first to admit that I've never been a serious relationship, even though I'm now in my early 20s and have known plenty of women I've had at least some interest in.

However, since my early teens the one thing that was on my mind is what, exactly, is an acceptable age difference in a relationship (either older or younger) or is there any at all? Or am I just going to have to judge? Part of the reason was back then, I had something of a liking for girls who were at least a few years older and even hung around a couple of them for a brief period, and again when I finished high school that trend sort of came back.

So I wonder... what would you define as an acceptable age difference in relationships, and would there be any problem if there was a substantial age difference and does it matter less as I get older?

 

[year of the roo]

Depends how old you are. If you are in your early teens then you tend to keep it to the same sort of age. Late teens, girls go for older guys, whilst guys tend to go for younger girls.

When you get older, it doesn't seem to matter as much. As long as the difference isn't something disturbing like 30+ years.

 

[BomberGal]

Originally posted by year of the roo
Late teens, girls go for older guys

Damn straight! mmm...gotta love those older guys...


It all depends on the people involved.

Anyway...when my friend started seeing guys 8/9 years older than her, we all talked about it and 'agreed' that we would 'accept' guys up to 10 years older, or one year younger. But for them, it seems to be one of those things you agree with in theory, and don't actually agree with when it's real.

There seems to be a thing that if you are an 18 year old girl, then a big age difference doesn't matter (as in, 8/9 years), but if you are 17, people will disapprove. It's ridiculous, because there's no 'line'. As long as the younger person has the maturity to cope with it.

 

[Weaver]

The rule amongst my friends is - Divide by half and then add 7.

So for example a 40 year old can date a 27 year old. A 30 year old can date a 22 year old. An 18 year old can date a 16 year old.

 

[year of the roo]

Originally posted by Weaver
The rule amongst my friends is - Divide by half and then add 7.

So for example a 40 year old can date a 27 year old. A 30 year old can date a 22 year old. An 18 year old can date a 16 year old.

Hmmm, seems fair. I'll see how that one holds up from now on...

 

[Scotty's_Girl]

Originally posted by Weaver
So for example a 40 year old can date a 27 year old.

OMG! That sounds like my aunty! She is dating a 27 year old man, and she's 40.

Problem is, she is about 30 cm taller than him!! I think it looks funny if the lady is taller than the man, especially by that much!!

 

[mantis]

Also, it doesn't matter if it's the man or woman who is older, even though for some reason, a lot of people think the man should be older, never the woman.

 

[clucas91]

Well I'm 18 and I prefer older girls, I would probaby only consider someone 6 years older than me max. though.

 

[myee8]

Originally posted by clucas91
Well I'm 18 and I prefer older girls, I would probaby only consider someone 6 years older than me max. though.

There are some pretty hot MILFs out there.

 

[sbagman]

Originally posted by Weaver
The rule amongst my friends is - Divide by half and then add 7.

So for example a 40 year old can date a 27 year old. A 30 year old can date a 22 year old. An 18 year old can date a 16 year old.

Actually, to be anally retentive, dividing by half is the same as multiplying by 2, so a 30 year old can date a 67 year old, and an 18 year old can date a 43 year old.

 

[X_box_X]

Originally posted by sbagman
Actually, to be anally retentive, dividing by half is the same as multiplying by 2, so a 30 year old can date a 67 year old, and an 18 year old can date a 43 year old.

Wouldn't you need to subtract seven instead of adding seven?

Example, a 30-year-old can date a 53-year-old. However, the system doesn't exactly work, because, doing it the other way 'round, the 53-year-old wouldn't be able to date someone any younger than 33.5 years. Whereas, the 30-year-old can date a 53-year-old.

 

[clucas91]

Originally posted by myee8
There are some pretty hot MILFs out there.

Heh, not that old.

 

[maccas_no1]

It doesnt really matter, but you dont like to seea situation like Anna Nicole Smith and her half dead Oil Tycoon That is just wrong

If you like/love em then go for it

 

[swansrock4eva]

I'm 19 and will admit I thought I was always a fair bit open minded about that sort of thing, but I nearly fell over when I found out a guy who i was starting to get a bit into at uni was 33. At the same time he didn't know my age (thought I was a bit older) and we both sorta went "WHOA! Ok...." so we've dropped it back to just friends, but it got me thinking - at 19 i realise that 14 years is just a bit too different imo - we've got different goals in life and stuff like that (e.g. he's got a mortgage, I still live at home!), which would influence a romantic relationship but not a friendship, and that's one of the biggest things - if you both aren't on the same path in terms of what you're looking for, age doesn't matter either way because chances are you're not going to be able to agree when you need to regarding futures etc. Well that's my take on it anyway...

 

[mantis]

Originally posted by maccas_no1
It doesnt really matter, but you dont like to seea situation like Anna Nicole Smith and her half dead Oil Tycoon That is just wrong

What's wrong with that, as long as he is half dead, look at how rich she will end up.

 

[pazza]

Something around 4-5 years difference is about right.

 

[lioness]

I don't really see a problem with age differences, if people are happy that way then good on them.

Personally I prefer being with someone around my own age. Maybe 3-4 years difference either way. My boyfriend is just over a year older than I am, and that works well for me.

 

[Bombers 2003]

I'm over ?and most women i've been out with are 1-8 yrs younger then me.When i was married[a long time ago]my wife was the same age.I have ben out with a couple of older women,but the difference was about a year.

 

[DaveW]

Originally posted by X_box_X
Wouldn't you need to subtract seven instead of adding seven?

Example, a 30-year-old can date a 53-year-old. However, the system doesn't exactly work, because, doing it the other way 'round, the 53-year-old wouldn't be able to date someone any younger than 33.5 years. Whereas, the 30-year-old can date a 53-year-old.

Read it again, "DIVIDE by HALF".

(And you've done the operations the wrong way around for your reverse formula anyway.)

 

[Nic]

Actual age? Not applicable.

It's the mental age you have to look at.

 

[AngelEyes]

Originally posted by maccas_no1

If you like/love em then go for it

i totally agree with this!!!!

 

[Adelaide Hawk]

It's hard enough trying to find a partner without imposing restrictions. We're talking about dating here, not marriage, so what's the big deal about how old each person is?
I am not in a serious relationship but have a number of female friends I date from time to time. Their ages range from 33 down to 19.
Fact is, the 19 year old is a very intelligent young lady who knows what she wants, she has a terrific sense of humour and is extremely good company. We won't ever be married, but neither of us can see any reason as to why we shouldn't date on a casual basis. It's fun.
If I worried about trivial things like age differences, I would be missing out on some very nice evenings. When it comes to making a serious committment, then maybe age differences should be taken into account, but I still wouldn't allow it to have too much bearing on the decision. It would be a shame to let someone go simply because of age, there are too many other things that are far more important.

 

[Beffery]

My dad is 8 years older than my mum and they'll be married 25yrs in December.
I think it just depends on what you and the other person want at the time. I don't mind older guys but If I was to date one he would have to understand that I have no intention of settling down any time soon.

 

[Port1978]

Originally posted by BomberGal
Damn straight! mmm...gotta love those older guys...

You got that right! There's a 15 year age gap between myself & the hubby...I'm 25 & he's 40, but we never notice the difference.
IMO a person's age doesn't really matter as long you're both happy.

 

[Dasher39]

Originally posted by maccas_no1
If you like/love em then go for it

100% agree with you there Marty!! Age difference is only a big deal if you make it a big deal. If it doesnt bother you or your partner dont worry what others will think, becuase in the end you are happy and thats all that matters.