Amazing Revelations

[Lindner Wazzagun]

I found the following writings in a bible I was flicking through and thought they were interesting.....


And it came to pass that the storm clouds which hovered over the colosseum which is skilled began to part. Rays of sunshine beamed forth and bathed the stadium and its surroundings. Its warmth filled the gladiators there trained with His power and a confidence not felt since the days of the Farmer and his celebrated army.
Although one revered defender hath been cut down his comrades deliver the sought for golden chalice and pennant which are gladly received by the Dowdy one, the Captain and the Cook and held aloft by them and a purveyor of the Earth's fruits.
At that time He will ascend from his great throne in the great stadium and bring forth His praise and admiration for the deeds of His sons and their fellow combatants.
The medalled son will hold aloft the chalice for His flock and his sibling, who once looked glum, will appear to smile.
The challengers will bow down and praise the greatness of the feline army while wallowing in their shortcomings. Those considered most dangerous to the fulfilment of this prophecy, the birds of prey, will lose their feathered plumage and slither westward forthwith. With withered wings they crawl speedily going along dirt, under icy waters, to and fro on winding tracks and through deep rivers whilst being pursued by centurions and those who would test.
His appearance in the skies at the great coliseum will herald the dawn of a Golden age for the felines and their devoted followers and so herald an evening and indeed prolonged era of celebration and imbibing on streets that are mean and to where those who hail Eureka or the bar of the Lamb will proceed to forthwith as has been foreseen.

 

[SweetLeftFoot]

And then LO! the cat did cower before the great jumping beast with hath a name so holy none may say it here, and the great jumping beast did kick accurately in the first quarter this time, and YEA! the cat did flee from the field of battle, going out in straiteth setteths.

 

[Rustybugles]

Thou art a prophet of doom, Sweetleftfoot, and a false one! Be gone from the land of milk and honey. Thou shalt from henceforth be confined to bouncing aimlessly in the Northern deserts. And the sacred Cat of the mighty Egyptian civilization shall be adopted as the sign of victory.

 

[The rabbi]

I've have got to get some of that stuff you blokes are on!

 

[kendall_cedric]

Jesus!

 

[MrWolf]

This thread is gold!, pure genius you hear me; the funniest thing I've read in ages, love it.

 

[Cohzee]

Classic. Well done.

Also, can all the Roos supporters trolling this board please piss off?

 

[Mooney_d'King]

And alas, the lid bleweth upwards, and all asunder felt the glory of the shrapnel of its impact. And the faithful did cry "About bloody time", while others shouted "Wrong thread, but we loveth it anyway"!

 

[Sean Sheep]

Verily this I say unto thee... AMEN!!

 

[SweetLeftFoot]

And LO! after the plague of Straighteth Setteth did afflict the flock of Sleepy Hollow, there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth and the people did cry "Why O Lord have we chokethed again? Buggereth this for a joke, YEA! next season we will head down the coasteth upon thine weekend, and not bothereth with those who cannot performeth when it truly counteth."

And on the other side of the Jordan, in the Promised Land, the followers of the Great Jumping Beast did dance and drinketh many tinnies in a short period of time.

"LO! We may be few in number, but great in heart we be, and our soldiers have driven all before them on the field of battle, inspired as they are by our mighty standard, the shinbone! Merry are we, followers of the Great Jumping Beast!"

 

[Cohzee]

And LO! after the plague of Straighteth Setteth did afflict the flock of Sleepy Hollow, there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth and the people did cry "Why O Lord have we chokethed again? Buggereth this for a joke, YEA! next season we will head down the coasteth upon thine weekend, and not bothereth with those who cannot performeth when it truly counteth."

And on the other side of the Jordan, in the Promised Land, the followers of the Great Jumping Beast did dance and drinketh many tinnies in a short period of time.

"LO! We may be few in number, but great in heart we be, and our soldiers have driven all before them on the field of battle, inspired as they are by our mighty standard, the shinbone! Merry are we, followers of the Great Jumping Beast!"

Wow, never would have expected a choking comment from you.

 

[SweetLeftFoot]

Wow, never would have expected a choking comment from you.

I speaketh in tongues and act in mysterious ways.

 

[Cheshire Cat]

And LO! after the plague of Straighteth Setteth did afflict the flock of Sleepy Hollow, there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth and the people did cry "Why O Lord have we chokethed again? Buggereth this for a joke, YEA! next season we will head down the coasteth upon thine weekend, and not bothereth with those who cannot performeth when it truly counteth."

And on the other side of the Jordan, in the Promised Land, the followers of the Great Jumping Beast did dance and drinketh many tinnies in a short period of time.

"LO! We may be few in number, but great in heart we be, and our soldiers have driven all before them on the field of battle, inspired as they are by our mighty standard, the shinbone! Merry are we, followers of the Great Jumping Beast!"

Yea, the Lord said those whoeth are not solvent in Victoria and relyeth on handouts and charity shall be banished to coast of gold, or else goeth the way of another deceased brother Fitzroy, whoeth they once wished to join forces.

The Lord then said "thou shalt not commit adultery" but he who had carried north melbourne to success could noteth resist the temptation of his bretherens wife, Kelli. And thereafter the his tribe, now homeless are starless, were lefteth in the middle of nowhere much like the 80 years previous.

 

[catdman]

And to think I was happy with " the cow jumps over the moon"

 

[SweetLeftFoot]

The Lord then said "thou shalt not commit adultery" but he who had carried north melbourne to success could noteth resist the temptation of his bretherens wife, Kelli. And thereafter the his tribe, now homeless are starless, were lefteth in the middle of nowhere much like the 80 years previous.

And the followers of the Great Jumping Beast do point to the time the False God of Sleepy Hollow did slay a young girl with a surfeit of wine and mysterious spices, and did leaveth her upon a bed to die a horrible death.

Alleth in alleth, we know what is worseth.

 

[passthebottle]

I speaketh in tongues and act in mysterious ways.

I thinketh thou speaketh thy shiteth witheth tongueth poleth smokereth!

 

[Cheshire Cat]

The Lord then said "thou shalt not commit adultery" but he who had carried north melbourne to success could noteth resist the temptation of his bretherens wife, Kelli. And thereafter the his tribe, now homeless are starless, were lefteth in the middle of nowhere much like the 80 years previous.

And the followers of the Great Jumping Beast do point to the time the False God of Sleepy Hollow did slay a young girl with a surfeit of wine and mysterious spices, and did leaveth her upon a bed to die a horrible death.

Alleth in alleth, we know what is worseth.

And the Lord said, yea who know not know the facts of what they sayeth best say nothing at all, as otherwise it may bring great wrath from the lawyers.

 

[SweetLeftFoot]

And the Lord said, yea who know not know the facts of what they sayeth best say nothing at all, as otherwise it may bring great wrath from the lawyers.

But, he hath admitted providing the mysterious spices and the surfeit of wine!

 

[Selwood07]

Here endeth the lesson - methinks!
You're gooooone Roos! What language do they speak on the Gold Coast?

 

[Solstice Raver]

And the Pivitonian did say unto the masses, "taketh it a challenge singularly, not unto the next and mandate the uplifting of the capsules seal".

This seasons fruits be plentiful yet the havest is undone. Beware the unripened fruits, as eagerness to taste without the coming of the juice hath foretold pain of the throat.