another funny

[dee_girl9]

i as pissing myself when i read this.

ENJOY

A little boy walks into his parents' bedroom to find his mother
on top of his father, humping up and down. The mother spots her son and
dismounts as the boy leaves the room. Worried about what her son has
seen,
the mom quickly dresses and goes to find him in his bedroom.
The son asks, "What were you doing to Daddy, Mom?" The Mom replies,
"Well you know how Dad has a big tummy?" The boy answers, Yes, he sure
does."
"Well, I have to get on it sometimes to help flatten it," explained
Mom.
The boy says, "You're just wasting your time, that will never work.
"The Mom is confused, "Why not, son?"
"Because whenever you go shopping, the lady across the street comes
over, gets down on her knees in the bedroom, and blows his tummy back
up!"

 

[Dan26]

Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Dave's wife, Sandy, was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jeff hit his head on the table as he emerged rather red-faced.

Later when Jeff went to the kitchen to get some refreshments Sandy followed him and asked, "Did you see anything under the table that you liked?" Jeff admitted, "Well, yes I did." She said "you can have it, but it will cost you $100." After thinking about it for a minute, Jef indicates that yes, he is interested. She tells him that since Dave works Friday afternoons (and Jeff doesn't), that he should come to their house around 2:00 PM on Friday.

Friday came and Jeff went to her house at 2:00 PM. After paying her the $100, they went to the bedroom, had sex for a few hours and then Jeff left. Dave came home about 6:00 PM and asked his wife, "Did Jeff come by this afternoon?" Totally shocked, Sandy replied, "Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes." Next Dave asked, "Did Jeff give you $100? Sandy thought, 'Oh hell, he knows!' Reluctantly she said, "Yes, he did give me $100."

"Good," Dave says. "Jeff came by the office this morning and borrowed $100 from me and said that he'd stop by our house on his way home and pay me back. It's so good to have a friend you can trust."