Anxiety Disorder

[Johnson#26]

Does anyone out there know anyone (or even have themselves) a clinically diagnosed anxiety disorder?

I ask, because my younger sister (she's turning 16 in 2009) was diagnosed with this in 2007, but had it since early 2006. And it's not getting any better, and is in fact worsening.

It's extremely hard to deal with, in that you live with it every day. She hasn't gone to school, properly, in basically 3.5 years, and has slowly but surely cut away almost all her friends. But now she doesn't even like to leave the house to go and see our uncles/aunties/cousins etc (on a few occasions), has stopped playing netball, which she played in regional teams. Basically won't leave her room, goes to bed way past midnight, sits around and night doing SFA, and generally mopes around the house, and makes you feel pretty bad for being around her.

I know that there are far worse issues in life, and far more difficult hurdles to overcome, and we are still very lucky to still have her, and to have what remains a happy and healthy family.

But the toll it takes is still noticible. My Mum is an extremely resilient, determined person, but it's even begun to really show on her. She just can't police my sister anymore. How can you physically force a 16-y-o to do something, like go to bed, or get up, or go to school?

And it's now getting on four years, and it just won't change. Everything's been tried, but she's naturally a lazy person, won't do anything for herself, and always plays the victim. I feel like giving her a spray, because she'll do what she wants to spite me, and often my parents, who basically devote their lives to her (drive her here, pay for everything, look after her so well), but she'll routinely spit back in their face. Makes me so mad. They won't give it to her, either, where as my brother and I can cop it for anything, as we're deemed fair game (admittedly, as would she if she was, well, normal, I guess).

I've always had a rocky relationship with her so it's been hard to deal with, now even more so. It just feels like there's no end to it. She won't finish schooling (IMO), she won't get a job, won't get married, etc. and I worry that my brother and I will have to carry the can for her. I hope not. I hope she can dig deep and find it within herself to just take ownership of her life and be accountable. I dunno how though. Her self confidence is non-existance, even though she still manages to do ballet every week (in a way her saving grace, in a way it's what drives me crazy - she can dance on a stage, alone, but not sit in a classroom with 25 or so others. Crazy).

And you can try and discuss it with her, but she just flips right out, chucks a huge tantrum and, that's it, the day is relegated to the bin, with her.

It's just effecting the mood of everyone, of the whole family, really, and there doesn't look to be a way out until she takes control of herself.

How do I help her, as her brother? What do you reckon she should do (for help/etc)? Have you got any experience with this problem? What do you reckon?

Thanks, in advance.

 

[footy75]

propanolol-this will help her get though social situations and take the anxiety away

for a short term remedy valium..will take anxiety away and help her sleep and relax. although it is a benzo so can become addictive.

 

[Simon_Nesbit]

If I can be hypocritical for a moment here (as a 'former' sufferer myself - who couldn't, or wouldn't recover for nearly 3 years and a cocktail of drugs) a couple of suggestions.

1. Exercise. High impact bursts of 10-15 minutes. If she's performing at 16, that would be at a pretty intense level. The brain gives off chemicals (endorphins or serotonin or something?)..."happy chemicals".

2. Diet. With the late night/late morning routine this is hard, but try and increase protein early in the day, and increase 'sugar' late. Cooked breakfast or Hot lunch, and small(ish) tea. Still following 'healthy' routines, but mixing around the time schedules. The protein makes the body work harder in the morning, and the sugars help keep a 'high' going in the afternoon/evening. Plenty of water at night-time. Greens. Every meal, no matter how hard it is. Not sure what it is (could just be the routine), but this was one that really helped turn me around.

3. Routine. Especially regarding sleep patterns. Doesn't really matter what (my 'key' was listening to a particular Metallica album...now any time I hear it I immediately feel drowsy) - so long as it's consistent, and soothing (to her).

I don't do any of these 3 things well, but for a time in my life they were three relatively simple (and afterwards, obvious) things which helped me to overcome my issues.

Some of the drugs are good (mmmkay ), but for most they treat symptoms, not causes.

 

[footy75]

Some of the drugs are good (mmmkay ), but for most they treat symptoms, not causes.

this is spot on..

but getting rid of the awful symptoms associated with anxiety over time can lead to helping the whole issue...

 

[BomberGal]

Some of the drugs are good (mmmkay ), but for most they treat symptoms, not causes.

When anxiety is the result of a chemical imbalance, the drugs do treat the cause. Sometimes no amount of therapy or lifestyle changes will help.

OP - it sounds like she has depression along with anxiety. Not doing things you love is definitely part of anxiety, but sitting around doing nothing suggests depression. Her symptoms sound quite similar to what I've been through, although how much of hers you can attribute to regular teenage behaviour is hard to say.

Sleep will definitely help - the longer you stay in bed, the worse you'll feel. I spent a year staying in bed til 1-2pm (going to bed really late, mind you) til I realised the damage it was doing, not to mention problems at uni. Routine is good, but whether you keep someone as busy as possible or slowly work back into things will depend on the person.

How you approach it with her is difficult, but you need to sit her down and talk about it calmly...don't bring it up in the middle of another tantrum. Tell her how much you miss her. It's probably worth getting her back to a doctor and trying medication and/or therapy - therapy is a huge step, but initially some medication might be of some use - even if it just treats the anxiety.

Selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors (SSRIs), such as Lexapro, are very useful for generalised anxiety disorder, with minimal side effects. Lexapro is one of the most commonly recommended drugs for combination depression anxiety, and few doctors seem to have any qualms in giving a prescription for it (not that I think this is a great thing). I think it's definitely worth trying.

 

[Embers]

I have an anxiety disorder but its not that serious. I dont flip out or anything. I just end up sleeping wayyyyyyyyyy too much so I take a qtr of a tablet a day to control my breathing enough to not make me so tired all the time.

For me she CLEARLY does not have a anxiety disorder. Ive seen people with anxiety disorders and unless shes been to hospital or passed out hyper ventalating that isnt her problem. Clearly just clinical depression probably due to a lack of confidence.

All you can do is be positive. From what you describe your not exactly helping by flipping out and having a go. Dont blow smoke up her ass or anything. Just mention the positives about her.

Mainly though there is very little family can do to help. As sad as it is its friends who are the main cause and main source of help for someone who lacks confidence. Id be looking at her friends or her past friends. Why did she cut them away, Why arnt they doing more to help. I think youll find the problem and solution somewhere in this mess.

 

[DoubleO7]

I have an anxiety disorder but its not that serious. I dont flip out or anything. I just end up sleeping wayyyyyyyyyy too much so I take a qtr of a tablet a day to control my breathing enough to not make me so tired all the time.

As do I.

For me she CLEARLY does not have a anxiety disorder. Ive seen people with anxiety disorders and unless shes been to hospital or passed out hyper ventalating that isnt her problem. Clearly just clinical depression probably due to a lack of confidence.

Did you miss this part of the OP?

I ask, because my younger sister (she's turning 16 in 2009) was diagnosed with this in 2007, but had it since early 2006. And it's not getting any better, and is in fact worsening.

 

[Embers]

As do I.



Did you miss this part of the OP?

Wrongly diagnosed IMO. Clearly has deperession and a lack of confidence. Both completley different from anxiety disorders.

 

[DoubleO7]

Wrongly diagnosed IMO. Clearly has deperession and a lack of confidence. Both completley different from anxiety disorders.

You might be right, depression is a common disorder among children and adolescents; Then again, it might be a mixture of the two disorders. FWIW, I'll give you the nod on this one.

 

[Tony_Clifton]

Two things that need answering:

What she must do to treat this condition responsibly?
Why she has do it now?

The answer to the second question is the key.

Sounds like her strategy is to avoid anything remotely anxiety provoking. That will temporarily relieve anxiety in the short term, but is making her worse and worse in the long term.

She probably figures that she will change one day in the future just not now.
The key is for her to find a good enough reason why the change must happen now. One that cuts through all her excuses and justifications to remain in her comfort zone.

 

[bucksisbest]

Agree that you should go with Embers opinion over a qualified doctor.

You make no mention of her seeing anyone regularly to help. I would think seeing a psychiatrist to talk over her anxieties and to assist with goal setting would be a help. They can also precribe medication and adjust it over time.

 

[Embers]

Agree that you should go with Embers opinion over a qualified doctor.

You make no mention of her seeing anyone regularly to help. I would think seeing a psychiatrist to talk over her anxieties and to assist with goal setting would be a help. They can also precribe medication and adjust it over time.

Some doctors are just monkeys in white coats. Atleast seek a second opinion really. I had cancer for 18 months before someone finally diagnosed me with something more than just a skin condition.

This doctor was unlike the other quaks I saw experienced. about 50 years old. He looked me in the eyes and said something is very wrong and took me straight to hospital for all the required tests.

 

[BomberGal]

For me she CLEARLY does not have a anxiety disorder. Ive seen people with anxiety disorders and unless shes been to hospital or passed out hyper ventalating that isnt her problem. Clearly just clinical depression probably due to a lack of confidence.

Anxiety does not have to manifest as hyperventilation. It can manifest as being too scared to go out, or to be around people, or even to go to sleep. Anxiety is being uneasy around other people, and not coping in social situations. It may or may not result in physical symptoms like nausea or hyperventilation, and certainly doesn't have to. What you are describing is panic attacks - not synonymous with anxiety. I most assuredly have/had anxiety issues but I've never ended up in hospital for it. You don't know that she's not feeling sick in social situations, anyway.

I think she clearly has depression but there are some anxiety issues there too. The two can go hand in hand and can both be treated by medication and a competent therapist, anyway.

 

[hamG]

Anxiety does not have to manifest as hyperventilation. It can manifest as being too scared to go out, or to be around people, or even to go to sleep. Anxiety is being uneasy around other people, and not coping in social situations. It may or may not result in physical symptoms like nausea or hyperventilation, and certainly doesn't have to. What you are describing is panic attacks - not synonymous with anxiety. I most assuredly have/had anxiety issues but I've never ended up in hospital for it. You don't know that she's not feeling sick in social situations, anyway.

I think she clearly has depression but there are some anxiety issues there too. The two can go hand in hand and can both be treated by medication and a competent therapist, anyway.

All of this is truth, and depression / anxiety do a wonderous effort of manifesting together.

Although I do not like throwing a mental disorder tag on someone so young when their brain is still developing. I would be very careful with going to medication, it will not solve the problem. Anxiety is based around irrational through process, medication will not change this (in my experience), it will help with the physical feelings of anxiety which result from this thought process. Behavior modification will probably require therapy.

I agree with the masses who say the doctor has not done a particulary good job. I think self esteem has played a major factor in creating the situation your sister is now in and everything she has will be traced back to that. Lastly, she got her genes from her parents, chemical imbalaces will tend to be passed down.

 

[BomberGal]

Anxiety is based around irrational through process, medication will not change this (in my experience), it will help with the physical feelings of anxiety which result from this thought process.

It's pretty unfair to make a sweeping generalisation and then follow it with 'in my experience'.

If there's one thing I want to take medication for, it's that the stuff makes me think rationally, and irrational thoughts seem bizarre to me when I'm on it.

 

[Johnson#26]

Thanks for your response, everyone, really appreciate it. It's good to get things in perspective, and a look in from others who can see it from another view point.

She's been on medication for her panic attacks, which she copped back in 06/07 mostly.

In terms of depression, I have no idea how you actually categorise/diagnose it, but apparently it's more depression (if anything) in terms of just being upset/angry at her situation, so she's depressed about that, rather than having depression itself (if you take my meaning).

Agree re self-esteem and the past having a say in the issue. That's definitely the case (as far as I can see), but it's unfortunate that her personality doesn't help (does not like to do things for herself/lack of resilience/etc) her overcome anything like this. I guess that's her make up.

Also agree re her friends. The more time she spends with them, the happier she'll be. But she won't go back to school, because, naturally, she's scared about starting again, and facing up to them (who she hasn't done the right thing by, IMO, by not telling any of them about her problem/discussing her problem much with them).

Tony_Clifton, that's definitely the case. Unfortunately, she avoids any situation where she's confronted by her problem - any talks about it she'll avoid as much as she can.

Life goes on, though, and I'm sure she/we'll find a way out of it.

 

[hamG]

It's pretty unfair to make a sweeping generalisation and then follow it with 'in my experience'.

Yeah, all I have is my experience and what I have been told by doctors though.

If there's one thing I want to take medication for, it's that the stuff makes me think rationally, and irrational thoughts seem bizarre to me when I'm on it.

What are/were you on? (if you don't mind my asking).

 

[BomberGal]

Yeah, all I have is my experience and what I have been told by doctors though.

If you're interested enough, do some reading on SSRIs. Helping with rational thoughts is one of the major benefits - that's why they're prescribed for both depression and for generalised anxiety disorder. Of course it will always depend on the individual. I found that behaviour is a separate issue, and it doesn't make irrational thoughts go away - it will just make you able to better judge that they ARE irrational thoughts.

What are/were you on? (if you don't mind my asking).

Lexapro.

 

[jonoman89]

Sounds like fully fledged depression than just anxiety. If she hasn't seen a shrink, force her to.

I realise it'd be very hard, but you've got to remember that there are chemical imbalances in her head that she can't avoid. No use getting agitated by something she herself has no control over.

 

[Sportman1987]

When anxiety is the result of a chemical imbalance, the drugs do treat the cause. Sometimes no amount of therapy or lifestyle changes will help.

OP - it sounds like she has depression along with anxiety. Not doing things you love is definitely part of anxiety, but sitting around doing nothing suggests depression. Her symptoms sound quite similar to what I've been through, although how much of hers you can attribute to regular teenage behaviour is hard to say.

Sleep will definitely help - the longer you stay in bed, the worse you'll feel. I spent a year staying in bed til 1-2pm (going to bed really late, mind you) til I realised the damage it was doing, not to mention problems at uni. Routine is good, but whether you keep someone as busy as possible or slowly work back into things will depend on the person.

How you approach it with her is difficult, but you need to sit her down and talk about it calmly...don't bring it up in the middle of another tantrum. Tell her how much you miss her. It's probably worth getting her back to a doctor and trying medication and/or therapy - therapy is a huge step, but initially some medication might be of some use - even if it just treats the anxiety.

Selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors (SSRIs), such as Lexapro, are very useful for generalised anxiety disorder, with minimal side effects. Lexapro is one of the most commonly recommended drugs for combination depression anxiety, and few doctors seem to have any qualms in giving a prescription for it (not that I think this is a great thing). I think it's definitely worth trying.

You don't think the external environment can also change your brain chemistry? Drugs and therapy have similar success rates.

 

[BomberGal]

You don't think the external environment can also change your brain chemistry? Drugs and therapy have similar success rates.

Firstly, give me a reputable source for that.

Secondly, I said therapy would be useful. But sometimes no amount of therapy will help, which is where medication is required in conjunction. And sometimes, just one mild medication can change everything, without needing to look to therapy at all, which can be very difficult and painful - particularly if someone doesn't actually have deep issues to correct or change. Some people have very deep-seated issues, but some people with depression do not. If it's a biological problem there's no good reason not to correct it with drugs.

 

[aNty]

I think I can help I had/have this problem. It really does sound like depression.

I can relate to alot of the stuff mentioned in the OP.

The most important thing is that she wants to change, without it nothing will happen. You can bring in all the doctors or meds or psychs but if she doesn't want to change then nothing will happen.

For me, there came a moment when I realized I needed to change. It was a psychologist office, where I was such a mess I couldn't even talk.... I was in tears. My brain was literally gone.... I couldn't think. Instead, my sister spoke for me. In my mind i feel so much hate and towards those in my family and those around me. In fact, as my sister described, I was spoilt beyond belief with simliar facts to your sister. My whole family had adapted around me and really cared.

From then on, I began taking the meds ( helps your mood alot keeps it constant whereas before it would flucate badly) and began making more of an effort. I started with small things, like family, simple things like eating dinner with the family or spending less time in my room. I changed my whole sleeping pattern, (when you sleep late and have depression - your brain doesn't feel like it wakes up) sleeping around 10-12 on weeknights and joining a gym.

Then I began making more larger changes to those around me and going out more.etc

Well for my advice,

I guess you can't really force change upon her, the more you push the more they will resist. But there will come a time for her where she realises she needs to change.

It really helps if you have someone there that you can talk to or turn to help, someone she can confine in.

For help,

Visit the local GP.
If she shows the signs, she gets refered to psychologists and psychiatrist. Psychiatrist refers medication if needed.
Psychologists provide a nice person to talk to...etc


Kinda went off topic but I hoped it helped.