Off-topic Bay Survivor 2017 - Good Bloke Island Edition - Congratulations Richoatthedisco!

[Kangaroos4eva]

But, pictures.

Tell you what, I'll give you boydshow's vote number: 10.

 

[Wosh]

Tell you what, I'll give you boydshow's vote number: 10.

You people are campaigners
I wouldn’t have voted for you boydshow

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

You people are campaigners
I wouldn’t have voted for you boydshow

 

[Wosh]

View attachment 438044

Soooooo, any other interesting votes?

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

Soooooo, any other interesting votes?

They've been named already.

 

[Plugger35]

So has boydshow cancelled his account yet?

 

[bontshow]

I'd say we're even now.

So has boydshow cancelled his account yet?

Still here bro

 

[bontshow]

You people are campaigners
I wouldn’t have voted for you boydshow

As long as you vote for me to be a mod

I'm moving to Melbourne on Tuesday if you want me to interview for it

 

[JoseMourinho]

Challenge #2 Entry
Cheat Ground – Ross Lyon Stadium

Good evening, Floggos! I’m sorry that I am late. I just came back from the Woodside Board of Directors hence why I didn’t participate in the vote or last challenge.

Fortunately, ReportButtonMashing4Eva has set up a new challenge which directly relates to my project, CHEAT GROUNDS!.

Woodside, The City of Victoria Park and James Packer (yes, he is really fat) have just approved it. They’ve approved the greatest cheat ground of all time.

You see Fremantle have a real big problem of scoring. We can’t score very well as you see and we only scored 100 like 3 times last year.

Also, it turns out in the last two seasons, we can’t defend really well either. After tireless nights of working with Reep in finding loopholes, we’ve found the biggest one yet!

See a really badly drawn paint image below of the greatest stadium – Ross Lyon Stadium


You may notice that something is missing from one part of the ground. If you don’t, here is a clue. Look at what the blue side doesn’t have. THAT’S RIGHT! GOAL POSTS!

The goal posts are now retractable at Ross Lyon Stadium! This means that we only retract the goal posts where the opposition is kicking! However, to stay within the AFL rules, only 2cms of the goal posts are even showing! Making it incredibly hard for the opposition to find the goals to kick to!

See a quick snap of how they work – Now you see them!




And now you don’t!



Since there are no rules for goal squares, we simply do not need to have one! Our earlier prototypes had been foiled by the goal square (CURSE YOU, GOAL SQUARE) but thanks to the inepty AFL and Gil McLachlan.

Now, it doesn’t even matter if we score less than 100 points, the other team will have a tough time trying to even score 10 points!!

And it'll take the AFL 3 years, 6 sex scandals, 2 drug scandals and maybe a st kilda schoolgirl scandal to even change the rules to stop this loophole.

Given the AFL's track record of shitty decisions and allowing Geelong to keep Shithole Stadium, they might allow us to keep the cheat ground for 10 years.

Enough time for Ross to win an easy 10 premierships and the West Coke and Seaford scum go back to where they belong.

So we've even tested the new method and had a "friendly" match against Subiaco to test the new and modern technology and Fremantle won easily with 15.9.99 to 0.0.0.

You may think that the retractable goal posts were all that we had! Fremantle’s halfbacks and midfielders are incredibly shaky, and we seem to always turn it over…


Behold the almighty transparent barrier nicknamed “The Ross Lyon Wall” (Inspired by Donald Trump) which is made from the hardened plastic that the NHL use to ensure pucks don’t go into the crowd! This will be used to prevent footballs going through our goals instead of what walls are generally used for is to prevent illegals from crossing the border.



This transparent barrier is automatically elevated when the goal posts are retracted on one side of the ground! Foolproof! This barrier is 10 cms infront of the goal and behind lines and covers the entire goal/behind post area. Therefore, it is impossible to score a goal on Fremantle. Take that, Plugger35 and Cooksen. No more 100 point losses, no more goals (Ross Lyon likes this).

Also, when Bradley Hill accidentally kicks it back into our goals! It’ll bounce right off the Wall!

This stops our wayward kicking and prevents any homesick Fremantle Players from trying to sneak in a few goals for their future new clubs. GAGF Lachie Smeller and Farty Hackic.

Lastly, all we must do is win 8 away games and we’ll be off to the Grand Final easily. With a 20-2 record, we'll easily have a home qualifying final, a home prelim and a trip to the MCG!


Suck a dick, Seaford!!

I don't expect this entry to win just like Ross! But i've solved all of Fremantle's problems and guaranteed us at least 7th-8th spot.

 

[William Wonka]

As long as you vote for me to be a mod

I'm moving to Melbourne on Tuesday if you want me to interview for it

You mean we weren't voting for a new mod???
s**t sorry Boydshow! My bad.

 

[Stan_Darsh72]

Challenge #2 Entry
Cheat Ground – Ross Lyon Stadium

Good evening, Floggos! I’m sorry that I am late. I just came back from the Woodside Board of Directors hence why I didn’t participate in the vote or last challenge.

Fortunately, ReportButtonMashing4Eva has set up a new challenge which directly relates to my project, CHEAT GROUNDS!.

Woodside, The City of Victoria Park and James Packer (yes, he is really fat) have just approved it. They’ve approved the greatest cheat ground of all time.

You see Fremantle have a real big problem of scoring. We can’t score very well as you see and we only scored 100 like 3 times last year.

Also, it turns out in the last two seasons, we can’t defend really well either. After tireless nights of working with Reep in finding loopholes, we’ve found the biggest one yet!

See a really badly drawn paint image below of the greatest stadium – Ross Lyon Stadium
View attachment 438069

You may notice that something is missing from one part of the ground. If you don’t, here is a clue. Look at what the blue side doesn’t have. THAT’S RIGHT! GOAL POSTS!

The goal posts are now retractable at Ross Lyon Stadium! This means that we only retract the goal posts where the opposition is kicking! However, to stay within the AFL rules, only 2cms of the goal posts are even showing! Making it incredibly hard for the opposition to find the goals to kick to!

See a quick snap of how they work – Now you see them!


View attachment 438070

And now you don’t!

View attachment 438071

Since there are no rules for goal squares, we simply do not need to have one! Our earlier prototypes had been foiled by the goal square (CURSE YOU, GOAL SQUARE) but thanks to the inepty AFL and Gil McLachlan.

Now, it doesn’t even matter if we score less than 100 points, the other team will have a tough time trying to even score 10 points!!

And it'll take the AFL 3 years, 6 sex scandals, 2 drug scandals and maybe a st kilda schoolgirl scandal to even change the rules to stop this loophole.

Given the AFL's track record of shitty decisions and allowing Geelong to keep Shithole Stadium, they might allow us to keep the cheat ground for 10 years.

Enough time for Ross to win an easy 10 premierships and the West Coke and Seaford scum go back to where they belong.

So we've even tested the new method and had a "friendly" match against Subiaco to test the new and modern technology and Fremantle won easily with 15.9.99 to 0.0.0.

You may think that the retractable goal posts were all that we had! Fremantle’s halfbacks and midfielders are incredibly shaky, and we seem to always turn it over…
View attachment 438072

Behold the almighty transparent barrier nicknamed “The Ross Lyon Wall” (Inspired by Donald Trump) which is made from the hardened plastic that the NHL use to ensure pucks don’t go into the crowd! This will be used to prevent footballs going through our goals instead of what walls are generally used for is to prevent illegals from crossing the border.

View attachment 438073

This transparent barrier is automatically elevated when the goal posts are retracted on one side of the ground! Foolproof! This barrier is 10 cms infront of the goal and behind lines and covers the entire goal/behind post area. Therefore, it is impossible to score a goal on Fremantle. Take that, Plugger35 and Cooksen. No more 100 point losses, no more goals (Ross Lyon likes this).

Also, when Bradley Hill accidentally kicks it back into our goals! It’ll bounce right off the Wall!

This stops our wayward kicking and prevents any homesick Fremantle Players from trying to sneak in a few goals for their future new clubs. GAGF Lachie Smeller and Farty Hackic.

Lastly, all we must do is win 8 away games and we’ll be off to the Grand Final easily. With a 20-2 record, we'll easily have a home qualifying final, a home prelim and a trip to the MCG!

View attachment 438074
Suck a dick, Seaford!!

I don't expect this entry to win just like Ross! But i've solved all of Fremantle's problems and guaranteed us at least 7th-8th spot.

Tldr

 

[JoseMourinho]

Tldr

No goal posts so the other team can't score. Big invisible wall so teams can't score either,

All retractable.

 

[A Cut Above]

Challenge #2 Entry

Welcome to Uranaceston - A Hawk Hole To Call Home!

Ever the innovators, the Hawks have observed the Paer's feeble attempt at overseas expansion to become the first club to expand off-world, thrilling 48% of our fans by ditching Launceston to settle into a "special place" on the planet Uranus. Amazingly the stadium required no construction and instead utilizes Uranus' terrain. Situated at a naturally-occurring ring at the planet's north hole, Uranaceston boasts beautiful brown design and some of the squishiest seats in the league!

Special Feature #1: Variable Dimensions

No skinny cheat wings here, thanks to natural geography Unranaceston is a perfect circle. Although not quite flat thanks to its ridges, more disorienting to the opposition is its changing dimensions. When games are tight the ground will naturally pucker up and contract, but when the Hawks are on top & pounding the opposition it will loosen and expand to allow more free-flowing. Football.

Special Feature #2: Noxious Gasses

As a sentient bio-structure, the ground can absorb & store the sweat and bodily fluids of players & spectators. In times of great need Clarkson can release these by whispering into the ground an erotic chant he discovered by punching a hole in its wall. Many opposition thrusts have been stopped in their tracks by the surprise release of gasses.

Special Feature #3: No Premiership Points

The AFL is yet to formally recognize matches played in zero-gravity, so teams can pound away at goal in Uranaceston and be assured their efforts will give birth to no premiership points, though a plebiscite has been circulated to recognize the stadium's equal rights. Fans are advised to wear rubber hats due to the constant drizzle.

 

[El Dubya]

Challenge #2 Entry

Its no secret that some opposition supporters have complained about the dimensions of our ground down at Kardinia Park. Rather than creating a new cheatground, because you cannot top the original, I'm more interested in creating an equitable ground that pleases all teams.

We also have a few weight issues at Geelong,

and with Fatlop gone Tummy Porkins has complete control over the buffet. Rather than trying to help Tummy lose weight, since we've been trying in vain for over a decade, we're going to lean into it. Tommy will get fat, real fat, Rebel Wilson level disgusting. That kind of putrid fat where you probably can't wipe your arse properly and you end up just smearing s**t between your cheeks as you walk. Tummy will develop that stinking fat person stench, is it sweat, is it s**t, is it greasey KFC buckets, is it Robbo? Whatever it is, defenders won't be hanging off him for much longer.

To instigate this change, and to address concerns about the lack of wings on our current ground I present:

Cakedinia Park



In addition to the revolutionary pastry surface, and possibly more importantly, Cakedinia Park has room to honour our rich history of 16 premierships


Visiting plastic franchises will have to walk through an intimidating hall showcasing all 16 flags Geelong have won.

Conveniently located across Moorabool Street is a fine APCO Service Station where for a price you can meet Geelong legend Gary Ablett, and for an additional fee you can even get his autograph!

These two got the full package, meet, autograph and photo!

Welcome to Cakedinia Park minnows.

 

[Dinsdale]

how are you guys so creative this early in the day, I havent even had coffee and bacon yet.

 

[Floyd]

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

Quality entries thus far.

 

[JoseMourinho]

Spelt Zac Dawson wrong - instant DQ

 

[Dinsdale]

“Challenge #2 entry.”
In a bold move, Hawforn grand poobah Jeff Kenneth has announced that the Hawks new training ground at Dingle will also feature a world-class* stadium to host all Hawks home games in the 2020 season. Kennet said "it took a lot of bribery blackmail discussion on our part to bring Gillion around to our way of thinking, but we are now very happy with the result, and now will have an exclusive home ground.


Pictured: the Forrest end of Hawks home ground

Kenneth went on to say: "some may be concerned over player injuries, considering the surface below the rubbish is made up entirely of broken glass, but our coaching staff have returned from an overseas jaunt and we can also reveal our playing attire:

Pictured: Hawks new full stainless body suit, with GPS tracking harness.

"We also havent forgotten our womens team, nor the 52% of our fans who prefer that"

Pictured: Whoa!!

"Our catering staff have also made all food available at the ground completely free"


Pictured: A happy Hawks junior member with a tasty treat from the Michael Tuckshop

And player comfort facilities feature self-regulated showers:


So to all our 100,000 members, I can now also reveal the name of the ground:

"DIPPER'S DUMP"​

*3rd world class

 

[El Dubya]

how are you guys so creative this early in the day, I havent even had coffee and bacon yet.

Meth.Coincidentally the other theme I was considering for our new ground.

 

[El Dubya]

“Challenge #2 entry.”
In a bold move, Hawforn grand poobah Jeff Kenneth has announced that the Hawks new training ground at Dingle will also feature a world-class* stadium to host all Hawks home games in the 2020 season. Kennet said "it took a lot of bribery blackmail discussion on our part to bring Gillion around to our way of thinking, but we are now very happy with the result, and now will have an exclusive home ground.

View attachment 438112
Pictured: the Forrest end of Hawks home ground

Kenneth went on to say: "some may be concerned over player injuries, considering the surface below the rubbish is made up entirely of broken glass, but our coaching staff have returned from an overseas jaunt and we can also reveal our playing attire:
View attachment 438115
Pictured: Hawks new full stainless body suit, with GPS tracking harness.

"We also havent forgotten our womens team, nor the 52% of our fans who prefer that"
View attachment 438117
Pictured: Whoa!!

"Our catering staff have also made all food available at the ground completely free"

View attachment 438119
Pictured: A happy Hawks junior member with a tasty treat from the Michael Tuckshop

And player comfort facilities feature self-regulated showers:
View attachment 438120

So to all our 100,000 members, I can now also reveal the name of the ground:

"DIPPER'S DUMP"​

*3rd world class

Liked purely for the sneaky nip.

 

[Dawn to Dark]

Challenge #2 Entry

Welcome to the most crazy and harsh Stadium in the world. I present to you the Stadium de Mission Le Survive. You will be very lucky to walk out alive of here.

We've hired Greek and Serbian football fans. We've told them that the economy is better here in Australia and that you can sunbathe on our beautiful beaches and get skin cancer.

Players on the home team will be treated to some fantastic medical facilities. Our friendly doctor Steven Dank will be on hand to offer some premium injections

Rouge fans can expect a cruel death at the hands of killer dogs. We've sourced them from the North Korean government and they are trained killers.

Stadium de mission Le survive will be home to a sand pitch

There will be plenty of holes dug by 5 year olds from the daycare centre next door. Players can expect to fall down the holes and roll their ankle. This is purely for the entertainment of the crowd we do not care about the players wellbeing

And Ray Chamberlin is the only umpire on ground. He will makes decisions randomly like he always does.

 

[ChappyUK]

 

[ChappyUK]

Liked purely for the sneaky nip.

Racist.

 

[Yidaki]

Not enough avocado in the first image of the vid.